I NOW HAVE A DATE AND A QUESTION.....

I got a call from the surgeon's office and I'm scheduled for 1/24/05 YEA! It only took two months from info session to scheduling and I'm happy about that but my question is... I have a client who along with her husband have become friends to myself and my husband. Her husband who is a high risk OB/GYN doc called me at home when I became pregnant after my 3rd miscarriage without knowing me to offer his knowledge and support and care if I wanted, she is an OR nurse who is also serving as my mentor as I begin my journey towards a nursing career. I told her yesterday that I got a surgery date and she immediately became excited and said that she would re-work her schedule to get on my case but when I told her that I wasn't having the surgery where she worked she PLEADED with me to reconsider so that she could have some control for me when I couldn't. She wants to be in there when I have have surgery and she said she could pick out my surgical team with the surgeon. Should I follow her advice? This may mean starting the whole process over with a new doc. The surgeon is in my network with the insurance co but I don't want to have to start all this drama all over again. Any thoughts?????

While I think the intentions are great, I think I would repectfully decline the offer her help. If you are comfortable with your surgeon and the hospital where your surgery is scheduled, I don't think you need to worry about having an advocate while you are unconscious.Does she really have control over who would be on your surgical team? Does that really matter? Do you want some privacy? I worked at one hospital for about 15 years, still knew a lot of people who worked there, but I had my surgery at another hospital and had wonderful care. I sure wouldn't want to start the process all over! Best of luck , not only on surgery, but on the career! Sue

With all due respect to this lady, I have seen things like this before, and from a surgeon's standpoint all it does is make you worry more and possibly deviate from your normal routine, which is the last thing you want as a patient. The only advocate you need in that room is your surgeon. Period. If you are not comfortable with your surgeon fulfulling this role THEN I would find another, not because of this lady with good intentions. Good luck, Dr. C The Deaconess Surgical Weight Loss Center Cincinnati, Ohio (513) 559-2545

I could'nt agree more with Dr. Curry. The surgeon is the one who has control over the situation. While her intentions are good, I would not want to delay a much needed surgery when you dont have to. Unless, you are not happy with your choice in surgeons. Best of Luck Lisa Durbin 12-15-04

Hi Kita! I have to agree with Dr. Curry as well. I AM and RN, and while I do love and support my friends in every aspect, and help them as much as I can, I do it only when they ASK me to. While I am sure her intentions are well meaning, (what was that saying..."The road to Hell is paved with good intentions") it really is somewhat demeaing to you. I am sure that you have picked a good surgeon. If you are comfortable with him, and your insurance company approved you that fast and you are set, then you need to do what is best for you...OMG I would have killed for that fast of a turn around, as I am sure many many people here will tell you...for some of us it took years. This is definately a control issue. I think you are a big girl (you're wearing big girl pants now) and can make your own decisions. If she is offended by your decision to respectfully decline her offer, well then, it is her issue to get over not yours. There is also this huge thing called PRIVACY!!! I protect it with everything I know, and sometimes having friends involved with your care can jeapordize this. And I do know from first hand experience that you can lose you objectivity when you are involved with someone personally as well. You can't be a nurse and a friend at the same time, just like you can't be a mommy/wife and a nurse at the same time. I can tell you when my kids, or hubby are sick or hurt the nurse part of me goes right out the window! That would be my concern for you and your friend as well. Can't wear two hats at once! Ok, I did it again. Rambled rambled rambled! Do what's right for YOU!! If she is your friend, she will understand. Not to mention that changing will create tons of havoc for your physicians office as well. They put a lot of work into getting you to this point. Is it really fair to make them start all over again as well? You may not get so lucky the second time around if you try to change. GOOD LUCK! Valerie Curry, RN Ohio State University MFMU - Dept. of OB/GYN Lap RNY 07/10/2003 268/172/145 -61" overall! "if this were easy my ex husband would be doing it!"

I agree with Dr. Curry. Support is being there to help you with the decisions that you have already made. Good Luck. I'm sure your surgeon will take good care of you. Sincerely, Calvin Selwyn, M.D. Assistant Prof of Surgery UC Center for Surgical Weight Loss.