How did you convince your mate?

My husband is totally against WLS. He's afraid of me dying on the table or maybe he's really afraid I'll get thin and start looking for another man ;) How do you convince them that radical help is needed? I'm trying to get him to go with me to a seminar. So far no luck. cathy

Hi Cathy, I was in the same boat you were except that it was my mother that was dead set against it. It wasn't until I printed off responses that I got from asking almost the very same question as you. I also brought her to an info session where former patients were there to give their experiences. Once she was able to see how prepared that I really was & to hear unbiased responses about wls, she changed her tune & is one of my biggest supporters. So what I say to you is, print off profiles of people who inspire you on OH, print off the responses that you get from here & some how make him go to either an info session or a support group meeting! Hope this helps! Jen

My husband has the same concerns. The thing is I made him read the success stories on this website. I also let him read the the complications. I told him that I would be worse off if I did not have the surgery. My diabetes has been controlled by diet for 4 yrs, and just recently has been out of control. He realizes that I will be more healthy and feel better about myself. He also will be eating more healthier and losing weight as well. I told him I am not only doing this for myself but for our children. My daughter is mentally handicapped. She needs me. My son needs motiviation, and I am the one that gives it to him. Maybe if you can convince him of your motives and all the postive things that will come from it, he may change his mind. I wish you the best of luck! Julie

My hubby told me if that's what I really wanted he was behind me, but that he didn't think I needed it. We have both worked in the medical field so we know what both the pros and cons are.

Thanks everyone. I'm talking about it more to him now. Maybe he'll get more use to hearing about it. He doesn't know that I've been thinking about this for 2 years. I worked in the medical field also. That's why I'm so hesitant. There were a lot of horror stories. Of course when you work in the lab, you don't hear about the good outcomes. That may be one reason that I'm leaning toward a Lap-Band.

I posted a similar question here a few months ago. My husband's response was...if I really wanted to lose it I could do it myself without surgery. So I lost 20 lbs and have put at least 10 of those back on. I am scheduling the surgery for after the 1st of the year. I have to do it for myself (which is what alot of people have told me). I have been to several support meetings for Dr. McGuire and Dr. Hadley and they were a tremendous help to make me see I had to do it for me and my life. I know my husband loves me and we are self pay so I'm sure that is a factor, but we can afford it, just like a car payment I was told by one person who was supportive. A car depreciates in value even after its paid off but your life only gets better and healthier. Validate your husband's concerns but let him know you need to do this for you, mentally and physically. My sister had wls (laprascope) done 15 months ago and has lost 120 pounds and is at goal and she looks and feels wonderful. Her husband was also against surgery until they found this site and he read everything he could get his hands on and ended up being her biggest supporter. I have taken my husband to the support meetings and my initial meeting at Dr. McGuire's office so I think he really understands what is involved now. I'm like you, I think part of it is wondering if it will lead to divorce, but that is a confidence issue they will have to deal with (with your help). I'm still in the convincing mode sort of but I know I have to do this for my health and well being, self esteem, etc. Good Luck to you!!! **Support groups are the bomb, especially before surgery!