Can you share with me????

Hi Friends, first let me thank you all for being so helpful to me in my journey. It's hard to imagine that it's been almost 4 years since my surgery! I have been developing a lecture regarding the insensitivity of the public towards the obese. I am doing this for several reasons.....to educate healthcare workers, to lobby for obesity discrimination to be prohibited by the ADA, to educate the public at large to the plight of this last socially acceptable bastion of open and rampant discrimination, etc. Right now all I have to go on is my own experience and I was wondering if you could help me to help others by sharing your experiences with me. I know it might be painful but maybe with all of us putting forth an effort it will be worth it in the end. I'll go first and share one of my most hurtful experiences. When I weighed 263 I interviewed for a job as a receptionist at a popular radio station. Because it was for a receptionist position, the interviews were all done over the phone. You mailed or faxed in your resume and then everything was done over the phone so they could evaluate your phone skills and dealing with the public. I made it all the way down to the final two applicants and was invited in for a meeting with the president. Even at 263 pounds I took great pains with my appearance and fixed my hair and makeup and wore nice, professional clothing. I arrived at the office and saw that the other applicant was a tiny lady who was very pretty. When the president came out he literally looked at me first and then looked at her. He walked up to me, shook my hand, told me he didn't think they had anything for me and hoped I hadn't been inconvenienced by coming in. He then took the other lady by the hand and ushered her into his office. I almost felt sorry for her. He was practically drooling over her. I left the office in a conflicted mess. I was happy that I didn't have to work for an ignorant man like that. But, I was devastated because he had totally discounted my intelligence and my abilities because I was morbidly obese. I felt worthless. I was too ashamed to tell my family what happened and I lied to them and said I'd had a great interview but he must've like the other lady better. It wasn't until I'd had WLS that I shared this experience with them. The really terrible thing about this is that this scenario and worse is played out over and over each day with morbidly obese individuals. Can you share your experiences with me? I know I'm only one person and I don't expect to change the world but I figure even the mighty oak started out as one little nut. So, this little nut is seeking your help. Thanks again for being a wonderful, supportive WLS family!

Hi Rona, My experience wasn't recent, it was about 5 years ago. I weighed about 200 at the time, and went to a local, very well-known car dealership to get some quotes on new mini-vans until my husband could meet me there after work. I was the only person in the showroom. I walked around looking at all the different models on display. The salesmens' desks were all around the perimeter of the showroom, and they all just sat there, staring at me. I felt very self-concious and went outside and looked at models on the lot. I noticed a very pretty girl out there looking at Jeeps. She headed into the showroom, and for some stupid reason,I followed. She didn't even get all the way in the door before 2 salesmen had jumped up to greet her, and ask what she wanted to see or test drive. There I came in, and still no one offered to help. Just then, I saw my husband walk in from the other side of the showroom. He crossed the room and hugged me, apologizing for being late. I whispered what had just happened, as I felt very close to tears. Just then, a salesman came up to us and asked my husband (not even looking at me) if we were interested in a particular model. My husband said "No, after the treatment my wife just experienced, I think we'll take our business elsewhere." The salesman looked at me, and turned red. I looked around and knew others had heard my husband, too. We left and to this day, I have never gone back to that dealership, only NOW, I know the owner because his kids and mine go to the same private school together. Pamela B.

I had my most embarrassing happening at King's Island. It was a couple of years ago and my best friend, her little sister and I were at the park using our season passes for the first time that summer. We stood in line for about half an hour to ride the Beast. When we got in and sat down I couldn't get the bar to click closed. The ride attendant came over to help and after much pushing couldn't get it to close either. So, he called over two other workers (all teenage boys mind you) to help. They pushed and pounded on that bar until it finally clicked. Meanwhile they were beating the crap out of me! That bar was resting against my stomach and I thought they were trying to embed it permanently in me! I was so humiliated. The ride of course was waiting for them to get me in and everyone on the platform was staring at me like I was some kind of freak of nature. I was to devestated to enjoy the ride. Then when we got back to the platform the bar wouldn't unlock. So here I have this poor kid waiting to take his turn and the same three guys pulling and tugging trying to get the thing to let go of me. One's yelling for a wrench and of course here is everyobody staring at the fat girl again. My friends felt so bad for me and it pretty much ruined my whole day. When they finally got me out I just wanted to shrvel up and die. I didn't ride anymore rollercoasters that day unless they came down over your shoulders. And I have not gone back to the park sense. I only used my season pass that one time, so it ended up being a waste of money. I vowed I wouldn't go bac****il I KNOW I can fit in those seats. Some people thought I should write to the park management about the treatment (not to mention bruises) I received by the workers on the ride, but I was so embarassed I didn't want to talk about it. I just wanted to try and forget it ever happened, but honestly that is not likely to happen. That was the first time that I had ever been so embarrassed publicly by my weight. I am having surgery in two weeks and next summer I will have my park pass and I will ride that ride a hundred times and enjoy every second of it!

Hi Rona, I've not had surgery (still in the decision process), but I wanted to share some of my experiences with you. Just a few weeks ago I was pushing my shopping cart through the grocery store, minding my own business. Two attractive young men were walking toward me, and as they passed by one of them said, "They need to widen the isles in this store dude." I've been told to "put my groceries back because I didn't need them", I've been called a "fat *****" while simply walking down the street with my sister, and I've overheard customers in line behind me at the department store wonder aloud "why I was buying a weight bench when I should be doing SlimFast"? During an argument with a motorist who hit my mom's car in a grocery store parking lot, the woman spat out, "Oh go eat your donut..." - a jab to let me know that just moments earlier she'd seen me take one out of the bakery case. I continue to be astounded by people's overt discrimination and ignorant behavior. It's amazing. The good news is I no longer cry when I'm stung...I'm now more inclined to give them the finger. Much luck in your endeavors. Colleen