MY FAMILY & THOUGHTS

Good morning family, I just got off the phone with Mt Carmel W and set up my pre-op class. It is 5/7 at 9a and she said I could bring a guest, which I will bring my husband. I myself am just plain ready. Ready for a new life, which I cherish. Ready to HEALTHY! Ready to be the woman I dream of. I am so happy as this very moment. But I am concerned about my family, esp my husband. From the beginning I had asked him to attend dr appts, support groups, read books, even mag articles, even go over this board with me so he could be as well educated about surgery as I was. He has been by my side at every step of my journey and we have also been married for 18 years. He completely understands the surgery and everything about it and when I got my surgery date for 5/10 and I told him I could see thru his eyes he is petrified. I asked him what was wrong, but he never wants to, how can I say it, "bust MY bubble" even though he may be going thru his own doubts. I want SO much to be able to support him in his "own doubts" and risks but I am afraid to go there. I need to know how to comfort him in his fear of this surgery. I myself have just left EVERYTHING in the hands of God and I have been so at peace with my decision, I don't make a lot of decisions as I am happy with what everyone else wants, to a point that is. lol I believe I will continue to show him that I have my head on straight and that this is what I want/NEED to do. In the past few months I have not talked much about the surgery, just would update him on progress. I was afraid of shoving the idea of surgery down his throat. I wanted him to see that I know what I am doing and that he can count on me to take care of myself with his help of course. We work opposite shifts so lots of times we are not on the same wave length and have to back track re family matters so we are back on same wave length (make sense). I too have a fear but I do KNOW that if I don't take advantage of this gift and use this tool to the best of my ability, he will have to take care of me because of medical problems from obesity and I will not become a burden for him. I have three children 21, 17, 16 and I have tried to show them things re how things are going to be after surgery, they haven't shown much interest. Only thing you hear from them, is where is all the pop?! lol Which is not allowed in house since I can't have it, I was so addicted. I asked my mom one time to quit smoking and she said give me your diet pepsi and you can have my cig, I quit nagging after that. Lots of other things to drink, water based, I am sure they will get used to the changes. My daughter is very supportive which kind of scares me, we usually butt heads and then come to a compromise (she's the only girl) (mommy & a daddy's girl)!! Well, I told the girl at hosp I had to get my questions for dr at next weeks appt in order so I am ending this long thought for now! Thanks for listening board, always nice to know your here. Hugs Deb

Well yopu have a great and loving support group there. Your husband and children are ready to stand by you. You should try and get them to see all the success stories. It does sound like tyour husband is concerned. That's normal. Just acknowledge his unspoken concerns and let him know that if he wants to talk you are there for him and that you know he is there for you. My kids have also adjusted to the no pop rule in my house. It doesn't bother me if they have it as long as it goes with them. They actually like my fruit 2.0 and diet ice botanicals.

I am praying for your husband peace at mind he loves you that is why he worries before this was only an idea in the wind but now you have a date and it is real to him actually my husband and I are experienceing the same thing when I told him surgery was a go and I was going to be getting a date sometime in June he has started getting real snuggly and affectionate I think it is normal for the people who love us to be worried he will have his own conversations with god and when god feels he is ready he will give your husbands mind peace just be his rock for a minute the hardest part if over (getting a surgery date) glad to see you have placed things in the lords hands he has very large hands and soon your husband will place his worries there as well It has certainly gave my mind peace as well god bless and many many many prayers your way