OT-Rant, advice needed

I almost don't even know where to start this. Well, here it goes, My father in law passed away a week ago last Saturday. My husbands bro, who lives in Oregon (we're in Ohio ) and who no one has seen for 20 years came out for the funeral. He brought his wife and twins with him too. He had been seriously thinking about moving out here to be closer to his family (since I guess we're all he has). We I had off to work yesterday and my brother in law and his wife got into a huge argument (at which to this point I still have no idea what it was about). Well his wife decides she's leaving him and heading back to Oregon . So my hubby says he'll take her to Kansas (my hubby drives truck) so she can go to her grandma's and fly back to Oregon from there. Well needless to say, I'm furious with both of them and hate the idea of both of them alone in his truck. You see, my hubby cheated on me 3 years ago and although I know he's doing this out of the kindness of his heart, I still can't help but be extremely pissed and upset over this. I even told her last night that this could put major strain and potentially break up my marriage and her response was sorry you feel that way. With a major attitude attached to it. And what gets me the most is that my hubby is acting like he did when he cheated on me. But part of me is also wondering if I'm just reading too much into everything too. I just know I didn't sleep for crap last night worrying about all this BS. I'm just simply beside myself because i got along with this girl and was looking forward to her moving out here and now I can't help but hate her. I mean, how heartless can you be to another persons marriage and then to abandon your 5 yr old twins. Her daughter was crying her eyes out last night and when I told her about her daughter being so upset she's like she'll get over it. WTF? I just know my head and heart are in overdrive and I want to know how I'm suppose to get through all this. I just know I can't wait until tomorrow when she's off my hubby's truck, but right now that seems like a lifetime. 

 

 

I trust my husband (or so I thought I did). I went through alot to bring myself to this point in our relationship and make it work. He told me straight up when it happened before (which btw was with an ex girlfriend from HS). He didn't lie about it and we worked through it. But I don't like the way she is acting. I know for sure this is a major test as to just how much I do trust him. I will admit that when I talked to him this morning he denied anything going on except him taking her to Kansas but they did sleep in the same bed last night but he swears that all they did was sleep. I was crushed when he told me this but I keep remembering that before when this happened that he told me the truth without any questions. So I keep trying to tell myself to trust him. He is being honest with me. He didn't even try to hide that they slept in the same bed. But I am completely hurt by this whole situation and so can't wait for tomorrow when she'll be gone. And to be honest, I think if it wasn't for the way she was acting then I wouldn't be this crazy over the whole situation. Please God, just let the next 36 hours fly by. But the worst of all this is I'm not eating. It was the same way before surgery. Whenever I got upset I wouldn't eat. I tried to eat this morning but gagged on it. I can't force myself to eat. My hubby is the world to me and I can't see ever being apart from him. I just want to trust him.

tell him to call one of his trucking buddies...or if you can, take up a collection for her so she can fly from where you live. You can get a plane ticket now from SkyBus here in Columbue for $30 bucks....

wow .. that's a lot of concern and hurt on your plate.  You can't change that; perhaps its a sign that you two still have some work to do.  It's not really about her as much as it is about you and him.  (And I say that having some strong opinions about a mom leaving her babies) Know that hugs and good thoughts are coming your way.  Perhaps a little broth or some scrambled eggs will be comforting enough to eat.  Not taking care of you doesn't help your heartache. Take care, Janice

Linda, I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles.  Although, I've never been through what you're going through my daughter has.  She's going through a divorce right now from a scumbag of a BOY (he's not a man) who cheated on her with an ex-friend of hers.  The ex-friend and her new boyfriend lived with my daughter and son-in-law for a couple of months while she was trying to get away from her "abusive" husband.  She claimed he was also abusing their 5 year old son.  My daughter felt so sorry for her, she showed her bruises and everything.  But the couple of times I was over there during that time, I could have sworn I saw my son-in-law and the so-called friend looking at each other in that way.  That was 3 years ago and another child had for my daughter ( she's got 3 beautiful daughters).  To make a long story short,  the boy is now living with the tramp, she's pregnant and neither one is working!!  My daughter is trying her hardest to keep it together. And i'm proud of her. So, Linda, my advice to you is to start eating, try to forget about him until he gets back and keep your eyes and ears open.  Because if he is cheating on you again he'll slip up.  They always do.  Look at his credit card statements and watch his phone bills.  I tried telling my daughter that no man leaves a family unless he's already got something going somewhere else.  She kept on saying, "I know him, and he would NOT do something like that!"  It was less than a week later that he and the tramp went through a local drive-thru where he knew my daughter's girlfriend works, kissing on each other and groping each other.  The first thing the girl did when they left was called my daughter.  I wanted to say to my daughter that maybe now you'll believe me just a little bit more.  I know I'm an nothing but an old mom, but I've lived a lot of life, and i sure wish I would have been wrong about this one. I'm sorry to keep calling this piece of wasted human life a tramp, but if it walks like a tramp, talks like a tramp, it must be a tramp.      Keep your chin up, things will work out the way they are supposed to.  I'll keep you in my prayers. Veronica

They slept in the same bed but nothing happened?????  C'mon!!!  That is way over the line for "in laws" to sleep in the same bed.  I don't blame you one bit for being upset. Take care of you.

I'm guessing that the same bed they slept in was in the truck??  Still, that is not acceptable.  One of the two needed to stay curled up in the front seat  -  uncomfortable as it may be.  And as someone else posted - skybus has cheap seats.... I'd make it very clear when he returns (I take it that they are already gone and on their way) that what he did was unacceptable and that he has again taken your level of trust in the marraige backwards after all you've done together to overcome the first incident.  I'd let him know that you're feeling like its starting all over again, and that you WILL move on at the first bit of evidence indicating the same. And then I would if I were you.   If you see something, hear something, find something (and you have a right to look) - I'd move on.  There are plenty men in this world if you think you need one.  And chances are - you don't. Plant your feet around the possibility that you might be right, and you might be moving on.  And then hope that you're DH actually  isn't looking the other direction.  Be strong.  Do what is best for you. And eat.  Something.