15 hours and counting down!
Hello to all my new friends on OH. I know many of you because I have been lurking here for a long time. I wasn't sure If I would be able to get approval so did not invest too much energy into the site other than reading voraciously, but now that my surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning, I am trying to become more active here. As many of you can remember, this time of getting right down to it is filled with many mixed feelings. I am anxious in general about the surgery and even though my surgeon and the facility are rated highly, I know there's always accidents. I hope all goes well with the technical aspects. I am also having mixed feelings about food in general and I imagine that there is a kind of 'grieving' process that we go thru. Food, even though it has turned on me and become my enemy, has been a comforting companion for a very long time now. I am feeling somewhat saddened to think I will never eat another Gyro again, or my sister's homemade toffee candy at Xmas, or those great salt and vinegar chips!So I guess this is the beginning of that process of letting go. I also am secretly afraid that I have once again put all my hope and faith and trust in another 'program' and have been dreaming of how it will be when I am of normal weight and size and ability, just like I have done time after time on any number of diets and programs in the past. Which never resulted in any long term success, and have always left me feeling like a big fat failure!!!! What if this tool doesn't work for me? what if I have to go back to living like I have been the last couple years, not even leaving the house except to work, or grocery store, or to my daughter's home? My life has become almost that of an invalid.
So anyway, these are some musings just before I go into what I hope will be a transition to a new life and a new world for me. please say a prayer for me around 8AM est. thanks, friends!
