Think I'm Gonna Cry!

Why, oh why can't I be "rich"?!?!    Would make this whole process sooo much EASIER!!  Even after all these years I still can't come up with the stupid extra fees needed for my surgeon to do the surgery!  Found out the other day that the place I was working part time (2-3 days a week/3 hrs a day) is not asking me back next school season.  Can't really blame them, was definately NOT a good start to this year!  I had been helping to take care of my best friend- my Grandma- well, on my birthday she had another stroke while in the hospital for pneumonia that completely paralized her left side...she never really recovered and "woke up" so it was decided to put her in Hospice.  She passed away 19 days before her 90th birthday.  I have not taken her loss well and was put on some major anti-depressants--if they are working, I hate to see what I would be like without them!  I still cry all the time and MISS HER SOOOOOOO MUCH!  I have put in some apps around where I live, but haven't heard anything from any of them.  Makes me worry because even after just working my 3 hours I was in horrible pain from just standing... I guess the best thing I can think to do is just give up on ever having the surgery done....

(((((hugs))))) My thoughts and prayers are with you.  I'm sorry for your loss, hang in there what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. (((((HUGS))))) Blessings Tina

Jennifer, I'm so sorry your going thru this pain.  I know what its like to lose a grandmother, I lost mine in march of last year.  It will get better. I promise.  One day you'll wake up and you will be so tired of feeling bad-you will do whatever it takes to feel good again.  I'm on anti depressants.  I agree with you, hate to see what it would be like without them.   Maybe you could go to a temp agency and get a 'set down' job. If possible. Work there for a while, then maybe you'll get hired full time. I know thats a shot in the dark, but you never know.  Don't give up on having the surgery, as someone once told me, if you want it bad enough, you'll get it.  I'm still waiting on approval from medicaid for my surgery.  And sometimes I think its never gonna happen. But if I give up hope, then, it beat me. And thats not the way we want to go!!! So chin up, girly!  Put in apps everywhere.  If your depression is disabling you from going places, getting up in the morning, etc.  you may apply for disability.  lt has truly helped me. I can't be around people without panicking. I need to get out of that. But weighing 450 lbs its not easy.  Once i lose this weight I hope to be able to turn my life around and go back to work. Im sorry for rambling, I'll hush now. Take care.

I am sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you. Can you go to the state for help... not trying to offend you ----=-please understand.. only trying to help. I remember reading something about subjects needed for this surgery for young Doc's . They are over seen by " professional- Established Docs" and The surgery is free . Have you ever heard of that? Try to research see if thats something youd want to do. I miss my Grandma to so I feel your pain.  Sending some Hugs your way-------> Blessings, Valarie