Fears

It has been a while since I have posted on here. Found out I needed 12 months of medically supervised diets. I completed that in May. I have my initial consult at the surgeons office tomorrow. I am filled with fears. I knew everyone here would understand. I am afraid I will be denied. I know this weight is killing me. A denial will feel like a death sentence. I would be doomed to a short miserible life. I am also afraid I will be approved. Then all these months and years of talking will become reality and I will have to face surgery, a permanent change to my body. Do I really want someone to cut up my body? What if I go through all of this and do not loose weight? What if I go to all this trouble and expense and I am still morbidly obese? I lost 20 pounds on the medically supervised diet, and then gained all of that and another 20 pounds. After 12 months of medically supervised diet I am 20 pounds heavier than when I started. What makes me think I wont "eat through" my surgery? Thanks for listening Shari

It is normal how you are feeling.  I remember the morning I had my surgery I was laying there waiting for them to take me back and I was like what am I doing, am I doing the right thing.  I figured it was just like stage fright kind of thing.  I am now 3 wks out and I am not going to lie to you it is a big change, but it is worth it.  I can already tell a huge differance, clothes fit better.  The other day I needed a nice outfit, I was at Walmart and I was able to get a top and a skirt and a size smaller than what I was wearing 3wks ago. (I have not been able to buy a whole outfit a Walmart in yrs) Your fear about messing it up, it would be very difficult, yur stomach wont let you overeat you will get sick.  Your taste will change too, atleast mine did.  I feel your worries I have gained and lost gained and lost, my whole life.  I think haven this sergery was the best desition I could have made.  Yes I had to say good bye to alot but then I think of what I cant do and will be able to now and what I could have been having to say good bye to if I didn't do this.  Do a Pro Con list that may help you remember why you started this journey. Hope this helps you, Linda

Linda, I know you replied to Shari, but that's what I needed to hear as well. 2 weeks tomorrow and I'll be waiting to be taken back to the OR. It's astounding to think how many things COULD go wrong, but then I think of how many things WILL go wrong if I stay where I am and dont try to change. Hang in there Shari and good luck on your testing and insurance maze.

Thanks for the encouragement. A good friend found out today she will have her surgery in 2 weeks. Same clinic, same doctor. I told her she was doing the trial run.

Hi Shari I can totally relate I am scared and excited. I do believe God is leading me to do this and will heal me. Hang in there. Where are you having your consult/surgery?

Cleveland Clinic - tomorrow afternoon My husband, a wonderfully supportive godly man, prayed with me and I am feeling much better. Amazing how fearful you can get when you leave God out.

 All I have been doing is crying... What Is WRONG with me!!  I feel like every one else here.  Why am I starting to doubt myself?  I am freaking out --I have waitied almost 3 years for this to be , now it will take place in 14 days. I started my liquid diet  today, and I feel like I am going to barf .  Is that my nerves or should I run to my nearest exit yelling NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Why the tears?  Blessings, Valarie

Valarie, Why did you make the decision to pursue surgery?  Have any of those reasons changed? When I am afraid I tend to weep a LOT! All of the changes you are going through and preparing for are scary. You are embarking on an enormous life change.  And most of us have used food to help us cope with unwelcome feelings. We can no longer do this and we don't know how to deal with the feelings. We need to learn new ways to deal with our emotions.  Prayer helps me (When I remember to pray) Talking to someone about my fears and concerns helps a lot too. So does journalling. What ever you do, don't keep it bottled in. Fear begets fear. The more you keep it in the bigger it will seem.  Remember why you are doing this. You are worth it!