Help I need pep talk!

Ok I am on the darn patch, but I am still craving a cigg something awful, I did have a couple of hits off one of my friends I ran into, But damn thses things, I am very anxious , grumpy, and getting depressed over this. I even thought for a brief moment about not going through with the surgery because i want to smoke so bad. How crazy this is? I have went through so much to get to the point where I am now and my file will go before the review team in a week or so and then get my date to meet with the surgeron, I anly have 4 weeks left of my diet counseling, left, and then do my 4 wks pre-op, why do I jepodrize all this for a darn cigg? am I crazy? Will I ever really be smoke free? It seems like it is all I can think about, like the thought of smoking is always in the front of my thoughts,Please someone tell me that this will get better? will get a little easier? I am getting so moody, and depressed, All I want to do is eat, (last thing I need to do right now), I have chewed so much gum that my jaws are killing me and I have a sore in my cheek from sucking on sugar free hard candy. A friend told me as we were talking that the reason maybe for some of my "steam" is that it was not my "choice" to quit but a stipulation of the surgery, She knows I was always a defender of "smokers rights" in the past and have always felt that smoking was a personal choice , so now she says that maybe I am feeling a little angry because I am being told I HAVE to do this and not having a choice in it so to speak. I want the surgery so much and not having any say in my personal choices, I just makes me feel depressed. But what I really think is that I am caving like mad right now and trying to get myself through this crave without eating myself out of house and home tonite. I was never a real big sweets person, but that is what I have been wanting all day some chocolate, some cookies, I go into our breakroom and that all you see, goodies from all over that people have sent to us for the holidays,( I work in a ER so all the doctors offices , med flights ect.. have sent us "goodies"), I am just not wanting to gain back the 7 lbs I have lost over the past few weeks on my program. I just need some real hopeful, postive, feedback and some heavy prayers, to make it through the next few days. Thanks everyone for letting me vent on here if I didn't have this place I think I would lose my mind totally. Ok so for now I am going to go take a long hot bath. Merry Christmas to all!!

Stay away from those cigs! They are WORSE than any food goodies you can put in your mouth. You work in the medical field so I don't have to tell you....but two aunts and my dad...lung cancer, emphysema (sp.), stroke...they couldn't stop. Stick on another patch or two (can you do that?) I'm pulling for you. -166 lbs. since 12/05/05. -34 to go for goal (6/2007)

OK, Jan, I'll try! My grandpa, (dead from COPD), my mom, living with COPD, on oxygen 24/7, my aunt w/COPD, her husband, lung cancer. All smokers! Just do WIT. (whatever it takes) You will make it through this. My thoughts and prayers for you for a great surgery and fast recovery! You can change your future!!! Doug

Thanks Friends for your support I need it tonite, Yes I do work in the med field (er rm to be exact) so yeah I have seen many many times the copd's that come in and the people that we have to tell that there "cough" is now cancer showing in their films, You know one would think that that would do it for them, but man this thing is one powerful drug, but I know I HAVE to beat it! I guess I am going to have to take it hr by hr if need be I just wish I knew how long this feeling of craving in my mind will last, that is the hard part, my patch is doing ok with the physical it is my mind that is bugging me to death over it. But I will prevail someway, some how I will do this once and for all! Thanks again for your words of support. Merry Christmas to all!

Jan, I empathize with you. I smoked for about 15 years....and let me tell you, I loved my cigs. But after my dad died of lung cancer, I decided I would quit. Actually, I tried for a good year and couldn't do it until I got a really bad bout of bronchitus. I felt like I was dying at that point. I went cold turkey and gave up the cigs. My advice for you to ward off those cravings, is to drink water, take deep breaths, and go for walks. This will help to curb those head feelings. It can be rough at times. If you can stick to your guns for about 15 minutes, a craving should disapate. Quitting the habit is so worth it to be able to have this surgery. You will feel soooooo much better and be healthier too. My wish to you is to be positive and know you can do this. Good Luck!!! Any time you need words of encouragement, just hollar. Take care and have a very Merry Christmas.