4 days till surgery..stressed

Surgery is not what is stressing me..its my family. I have to be up in Cleveland for pre-op testsing tomorrow at 7:30am...and actually have no way. My mother who had this surgery 5 years ago..and who has supported me, is making excuses to help me at the last minute. On top of it all, my fiance is being a jerk and stressing me out..knowing I have surgery on Monday and don't need the extra stress. Everyone said they'd be there for me, and now no one seems like they want to be there for me. So now I feel like Im going to be alone in the hospital and no ones gonna care about me. I hate feeling like a burden anyways. Plus I have 3 sons 11, 7 and 16 months...and I feel like no one is doing anything to help me make sure they are taken care of. I dont know why everyone is acting like this at the last minute. I have been on depression meds forever..and now I feel more depressed than ever because how everyone is acting. Im always there for everyone when they need someone...and here I am feeling like I have no one. Sorry to vent..but there is no one else for me to vent to. (except the message baords here on OH) Shannon

Remember you are doing this for you,, yes your family and friends should support you, but we all know we can't count on others,,,just take it one day at a time. The way I felt in the hospital,, I really didn't care if anyone came to be with me..I am the same way, I am always there for everyone else, but seems like when I need something I can only count on a select few.. so I know how you feel.. But you may get suprised,, I think you family is just scared,, I know mine was... So hopefully it will get better for you...Good luck on your surgery, and I will see you on the loosing side.

I know what you are going through. My family is "supportive" of my decision, but they find ways to complain about it..... like "you're leaving work early again for an appointment, I hope they don't fire you"... or just other stupid comments. Also, my mother does the same thing as yours... she always flakes out on me. I think people have a hard time with change. They are so use to you as the way you are physicaly and mentally..... they think surgery is going to change you in ways they aren't comfortable with. I am even having a hard time being supportive and excepting of going through with surgery. My lap-band procedure is scheduled for 11-13-06. I thought I would be nothing but exstatic. I am feeling so many things I never thought I would feel. It took me a long time to convince myself i would always be obese, that now it is hard to think otherwise. I am finding that it is much easier to be supportive of someone else's decision to have surgery than my own. I hope your family finally see's the light, and decides to be more supportive of your decision! Much luck! Mandi

Mandi, What you're experiencing is very common unfortunately, I see it all the time. Moms are the worst, too! These same people will be your biggest cheerleaders though when they see you succeed. When I banded my dietitian (whose BMI is now 22!) her mom was very skeptical but now she is totally on board. Dr. C

Dr. Curry, For a post-op who is more than 4 years out seeking revision; would you recommend lapband as a safe "plus" to help maintain?

Bo, There isn't a lot of long-term data on band-over-bypass at this point. Some people have had very good success with it. It's certainly worth looking into but I can't say conclusively that the literature supports it yet. Dr. C

Shannon sorry to hear things are going this way for you so close to surgery. Try to relax and do something special for yourself before surgery. Vent away girl.... We are here for you......((Hugs))

Shannon. That is what we are all here for. Vent all you want.. Good luck to you.. John

Hang in there Shannon. Good luck with your surgery!!!

Shannon I know it's hard but try and clear your mind you DON'T need stress right now, keep your chin up you'll make it through it. Maybe there scared for you and this is there way of dealing with it. But like John said thats why were here so feel free to VENT we all will listen. Also Shannon I had my surgery down the street at St V's but my Cardiologist is at Cleveland Clinic, no worries your in EXCELLENT hands. If you feel abandoned in the hospital and need a visitor please let me know I will do my best to try and come and see you if you need someone to talk to. My wife and family were very suportive of me so I had a pretty easy time. I also had a visit from a fellow OH member while I was in the hospital recovering, It was Melissa S. she goes by gabby mom on here. She was awsome she helped lift my spirits. So please don't hesitate to email me if you need something.