personal question here!!

i was justwondering if having wls has affected anyones marriage?? do you feel that you now look better so you can do better? i have read a lot of boards and that seems to be happening a lot. i would think it would be the oppisite, make spouse more attracted . just a thought.... suzy

I have been married for 31 years. Not always good but not always bad. My husband has been my biggest supporter. He is so proud of me and brags on me all the time. I have made sure that my husband knows that I love and care for him and that since I lost weight it does not change how I feel about him. We have talked about our feelings and fears. I think openess and honesty are crucial in this journey and sharing with your spouse is part of it. Linda 367/179/?

I agree with Linda. I have been married 27 years... my husband too is a great support... you should see him read lables at the grocery to check sugars! Peace pam

Hi, Suzy Early on in my learning about WLS I read an article (think it was an OH one) about marriage and WLS... I learned so much. I can't remember the name of it but I can tell you that it definately stated that if your marriage is already in trouble, losing weight is not gonna' fix it. And if your marriage is ok you will still have to work together thru the changes... my hubbie and I started in February to make a decided effort to tell each other we love each other (not that we didn't but more) and he made a decided effort to compliment me every day. That way when I started losing it wouldn't seem like 'hey, didn't you love me and think me pretty, sexy, etc. before'... That was the basis of the article. Even the best marriages take work, commitement and lots of openness. just chattin', Barbara G.

I don't feel that way right now, but I might in the future. (Just being honest...) I do agree w/the pp that if your marriage is already struggling, WLS isn't going to help. Good luck, Sarah

I have been married 14 years and my husband has been so supportive. If anything he may be a little jealous because his health conditions prohibit him from having the surgery. He jokes around that I'm going to leave him when I get skinny. I think we have a responsibility as spouses to reassure them and make them feel loved. But if the marriage wasn't strong or if there were abuses of any kind before the surgery this doesn't fix it. I just feel healthier and want to do more things. I see where alot of people start partying and going out and not WITH their spouse. This spells trouble in any marriage! Can you imagine the insecurities if the shoe was on the other foot? I would be a basket case! Mel

I'm working on 23 years of marriage to my wonderful hubby, John. He is very supportive of me having this surgery and we don't forsee any real problems but we both anticipate having to work out a few kinks along the way. I know we will both enjoy my weight loss together and it won't be viewed as a threat. I keep telling my hubby that when the weight comes off I'm gonna "rock" his world once again! We've always enjoyed a healthy sex life but I must say the past 5 years it's slowly taken a decline due to my obesity. I'm looking forward to having a figure again an enjoying that part of my life once again! Hugs, Lisa

My dh is WONDERFUL. He is "one of those" people, natiral 6 pack absolutley gorgeous and 5 years younger than me we met when I was at a low of 175. He never once fussed about any weight gain, he loves me at any size. He has been so supportive of everything I have ever tried and almost too supportive when I fail LoL. This is an amazing man people are always shocked that we are together, they expect him to be married to some hot bodied little babe. He always says "I am you've met her" LoL. I think WLS will change nothing, other than I might finally be as hot as he already thinks I am!