nutrition appt.. yay

I go monday for my nutritionist (sp?) appointment, my insurance has switched to buckeye somethin somethin (not sure what the rest of it is) but when i talked to Dr. Z's office they said that was a good insurance and their requirements is a 6 month supervised diet and for the past 2-3 months my dr has had me on a 1200 calorie "diet" and i have been going in once a month to get weighed.. so im hopeing that that is what is required.. i have to do a 3 day diet diary for monday, im getting so excited yet scared.. does that make sence.. i know one more step to better health.. and one more step towards that freedom i crave.. a part of me is worried about the "security blanket" i have carried as extra "death" all thease years, im going to have to finaly face that little girl inside and i wonder what she is realy like.. right now i have a strong sence of peace about all this and thats very scary to me, but that girl inside what does she realy look like. i know im talking kinda weird, but to tell everyone the trueth i have not been at a healthy weight since i was 7 years old and yes i know a lot of people have bravely came through and i am so glad for all of you, i do not know what i would do without all of you out there ready to offer any advice on anything. ok well im realy tired, its been a long day and i had one of those head tingling hand going knumb headache day for me.. God bless all Paula

It is hard and very scary to face the real you without the weight we all hid behind. But if you think about it.. you will still be the same person.. same beliefs, same values.. just in a smaller healthier form.. the only thing that really changes, except your waist size, is yourmind. Support groups will help and some of us will need to work with a psychriatrist to allow that little girl to finally grow up. .... you can do it...~diane

thank you so much, sometimes i feel very alone on this journey i keep forgetting i don't have to be there are people who have been where im at.. God bless you Paula