Just a little scary...

Hi, There is something that has been bothering me for a while--It is just a little scary! And I get just a bit frightened at times! One of my friends had weight loss surgery too--the lapband-- about a year before I had my surgery -- but she isn't doing well. I try to encourage her to go back to basics --to really start eating well and to exercise. But she doesn' seem to be able to get back on track! and I don't know how to help her. She doesn't go to support meetings--she eats lots of sweets and grazes constantly. She initially lost 50 lbs --but I think that she has put some of that weight back on. She constantly tells everyone how BAD she has been and she doesn't seem to be getting any better. I suggested that she see my psychologist (I go every week --to discuss all kinds of issues--food related and non- food related) I feel that I went through major surgery--to get healthy and to look and feel better-- I am very afraid that the surgery will be a failure. My weight loss is very slow (I have Hashimoto's disease--hypo-thyroid). I am fortunate--I guess--I can eat almost everything --but I worry that I am over eating. I even seem to be able to eat sugary sweets without too much of a reaction--I try very hard to stay away from them. It scares me that I may reverse the surgery-- I try hard to stay on track--I exercise and watch my calorie intake--Ieat my protein and take my vitamins. I guess that I just have to be very careful--and do the best I can each day--Well , I had to vent. Any one who has a suggestion to keep me on track--or to help my friend out--send them --Please! Thanks for being there. Be Blessed, Marian S.C. 242.4/179.2/goal 125-130??

Hi Marian, As a pre op, this is my worst fear about having surgery. I guess it doesn't really matter whether you're pre or post op, the habits are there and the ability to get off track will remain. I think that having the surgery might give me a stronger sense of purpose and remind me that I put my body through such trauma in order to regain control over food and eating. I also understand that folks who have had the surgery can slip and lose control. I remember that you had been talking about a book that you read about the power of positive thinking and as far as fear goes, I think it can have the same effect --negatively-- as positive thinking can --positively--. We all have to remind ourselves daily, many times a day, what the ultimate driving forces of our lives are...to be healthy, live right, and do right by ourselves, and others. Whatever we can do to remind ourselves of that goal might help us straighten up and fly right! Hugs, Amy

Hi Amy--yes, I struggle every day--who ever thinks that the surgery is the easy way out --is a fool! This is the hardest thing I have ever done! I Must eat right! I Must exercise! I must take my vitamins and monitor my protein intake! I must go to the doctor for regular check ups and see specialists and take all sorts of tests! But I would do it all again to feel as good as I do--and I know that I will continue to look and feel better each day So you hang in there--the surgery does work --if you work it! As for my friend--I have to continue to pray for her and hope that she will see the light! Be Blessed, Marian S.C. 242.4/179.2/ goal 125-130??

P.S. Thanks for reminding me about the power of the sub-conscious I am going to get it out and re-read it! Sometimes negiativety does rub off--and I don't need anything but posative thoughts--THANK YOU!!! Blessings Marian S.C.

Hi Marian, I just want to tell you how helpful it is to hear you say that even while you struggle you would do it all again to feel as good as you do. I am a pre-op with my first appointment coming up. People think this is the easy way out (my family) but at 36 and 380lbs, I think it is a good tool. I know it will be a struggle, but one that is possible. I think the positive thinking, exercise and counseling are the best things you can do to keep on track! Be well, Vivian

HI MARIAN! WOW hard situation for sure. I personally started my journey researching the lapband but after talking to surgeons...i knew with the lap band i wouldnt have had the sucess the RNY gastric bypass gives. THE key with the bypass was before i got to the point i had to put more effort in to loose i was already DOWN a major amount of weight and thats keeps us on track a bit when i dwell on that large number down. Your friend did fabulous with her tool and would hate to see it all come back on her. ITS very hard because our brains have not been operated so our old habits and thinking of food is the same and there. I think your friend needs some councling and support, perhaps an over eaters anonomous class...very hard sitution. YOU are a gre friend for caring but im not that good with the advice...SORRY lisa

Marian, first off, you are doing what you need to do to lose and keep off the weight. Therapy is so incredibly important. I am going back to school in the fall for an MSW to be a mental health counselor for pre and post op WLS patients. You will succeed because you want to work the program. Your friend, who had the band, will only listen when she gets the point that she has to take responsibility for her own actions. I have the band and for me, even without my first saline fill for more restriction, is doing what I need it to do, cut my hunger cravings out almost completely. It seems as if your friend is not eating for hunger but rather due to head hunger issues. We forget that whatever WLS we choose, it only helps the physical end of things. We still have the mental component that needs to be tended to also. Once we get the head in line with the physical, then all blockades are gone. Due to medical conditions I could not have the RNY. I am happy though with the band. I needed the physical "choke chain" as I have heard it called. I also work with a therapist so that I can continue to grow and live a happy life. Keep up your wonderful work on yourself and you will succeed. Sandra

Hi Sandra, When you do become a counselor --please come to Long Island Jewish --to teach. We need a person who has actually had the WLS --someone who can totally relate--not that the therapist there is not good--but he has never had any type of weight problem. I realize that my friend needs therapy--in fact I gave her my psychologist's name and phone number--she went to her twice --but she was't happy with her. And yes my friend does have issues that are not really food related--they need to be addressed. I KNOW that I have "Head Hunger" issues --so I try to work hard on attaining Balance in my life. I Know that I need help to change my lifestyle and my eating patterns--so I journal and I discuss everything with my therapist. I wish that my friend could realize that she doesn't need food to comfort her. But as everyone has said --I can't do anything to change her--I just have to try to be there for her --when she needs and asks for help! Be Blessed, Marian S.C. Life is so good--we shouldn't waste it!

Marian, I sent you an email. Sandra

Hi Marian, I am pre-op and my major fear is that it wont work. I want to do the right things. It really is hard work. I have lived so long doing what I'm doing, and it is hard to start going down another path. I keep in touch with my sister here online. She had the surgery almost 2 years ago and has lost like over 300 lbs so far. I get feedback from her about things I'm struggling with and she helps me understand things. This is a major major change we are making by having the surgery. It definately is not the easy way. I struggle everyday trying to change old ways. It is very hard. I'm sorry to hear of your friend. I don't know how true this is, but I've heard that LapBand is not as successful as the RNY. I don't know. I hope things will turn around for your friend. Sounds like you are doing all you can to keep on track. Good work! Take care and keep up the good work, debby