what would you do???

Hi everyone, I am in a quandry--I have lost approximately half the weight that my orthopedic surgeon wants me to lose( severe arthritis and osteoporosis) and I am starting to wear some clothes that I saved from one of my many previous weight loses--They are size 14 and I am already beginning to get into size twelves.(and I do NOT want to keep any big sizes--once I lose more weight). -- I thought that I had better wear them before I lost so much weight that they would be too big ( I figured that I needed to get some use out of them before I had to give them away). My problem is , that my girlfriends seem to be just a little bit ? jealous??? Yes, they say things that are complimentry--but there is an undertone of disapproval in their voices--should I stop wearing my nice clothes(they aren't expensive--but I do have a nack for putting together nice outfits--that look expensive). Admittedly --when I was really fat--I dressed like a schlubb! I wore a size twenty plus and mostly I wore loose sweat clothes and sneakers. Now I dress much better --I like my suede and leather pants, and jeans outfits, and I always coordinate my clothes and shoes and coats --so they look realy nice. My dilemma is this--should I go back to the old way of dressing and be one of the girls ,or should I continue to wear the clothes that are more dressy? I just hate to let them get too big without having worn them. They are nice, and almost like new. The problem is that I have to keep having to justify wearing the nicer outfits. What would you guys do??? Be Blessed, Marian S.C. 242.4/179.2/goal 125-130???

Marion my dear, You worked very hard for this weight loss. You deserve to look and feel good. Those friends that are TRUE friends will delight in your changes and your increased sense of self esteem. Those who feel challenged by it are folks who are not up to the task of friendship and have issues THEY need to work on. Leather pants, here you come. Let those who are enlightened enjoy you as you are now! Just my two cents... Hugs, Amy

You deserve to finally be "you" and enjoy dressing the way you always wanted to. If they were your real friends, they would be there unconditionally, I would think. You don't have to justify anything, but the fact that this is what you always wanted to be like. I would probably explain to them what is bothering you and get it off your mind. Hugs, Lisa

Marion, Please do yourself a favor and get rid of the larger items. This site has a clothing exchange where you can pass on the sizes you have no more need of to those who may need the clothing. Wear what makes you happiest and pray that your "friends" learn from your experience. You had the weight loss for you not for them. You dress for you not for anyone else. If they can't understand that then you need to move forward not backward. You are doing great! Take care, Linda M 230/172/115

Marian, I'm glad your doing so well on your weight loss!!!I hope you don't start dressing down to please your freinds.I think you are old enough to pick out your own clothes and your own style.You deserve to feel good and look good too!Next time one of your friends makes a comment,let them know how you enjoy getting use of your old clothes and like to look a little more stylish since you've lost weight.They should be so happy and proud of you,as you should be for yourself.Don't let anyone burst your bubble!!Hec ,If I ever lose weight I think I am going to be doing a hole lotta shoppin!!! Take careDarlene

Marian, You should wear what you like, and what you feel good in. It sounds like these friends arent very supportive........You shouldnt have to justify why you are wearing something nice...that sounds awful. It's sad that you have to feel that way. We cant choose our family (some of which are not always supportive), but we can choose our friends. Do they know how they are making you feel? Maybe you should tell them. Judgement is not up to them. Be proud of yourself, you've accomplished so much. Janean

Marian, Dress for yourself and no one else. I can't wait until I can fit into a set of clothes I have that currently are two or three sizes too small. They are smart and sexy and beautiful. Why, oh, why should you dress as you did when you have accomplished so much? Show the world just how great you are. Your friends will get over themselves eventually. Wear them, enjoy them. Sandra

Marian It is sad but oh so common that on this journey we lose friendships. Other peoples insecuritues of self can ultimately sabotage our relationships and wt loss (if we allow). Do what you want, what makes you feel good (*Sounds like you want to look your best YEAH!!! that is HEALTHY not selfish!!!) DO not allow others to hold you back. You are on a personal growth journey, unfortunately this threatens your friends. If you can talk to them about your concerns, if they are friends maybe they can listen and change. If they are not able to then the choice is yours, we can only change ourselves, we can ask what we need and be healthy, maybe we will get it, but if we dont ask we will never know. I am sorry your struggling with this, one challenge of the journey. I wish you well! Here is a cute little article I saved..... ____________________ Diet Saboteurs: Is someone in your life-your spouse, your mother, or a friend-secretly sabotaging your efforts to lose weight and get fit? There are many reasons it happens, from fearing you'll change if your appearance changes, to wanting to avoid facing their own weight issues, to feelings of jealousy. If you learn to recognize it when it's happening, you'll be much less likely to derail from your goal. When a coworker who knows you're dieting brings in home-baked cookies, politely (but firmly) say no. When your spouse tries to talk you out of exercising and going to get a burger and fries instead, offer to spend time with him or her after your workout-doing something besides eating. When someone makes a derogatory remark about how, "You're getting a big head now that you've lost weight," chalk it up to envy rather than letting such negative comments get you down. Bottom line-even if the changes you're making don't make everyone happy, give yourself permission to make them anyway! You're worth it! ________________________________ Also this quote may help! (them more than you!!!) "Only after we can learn to forgive ourselves can we accept others as they are because we don't feel threatened by anything about them which is better than us." - Stephen Covey _____________________________ Take Care, Jamie Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh 320/163 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery) Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/members/profile.php?N=c1132518510 "Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"

We are moving forward here not backwards. We had this surgery to be healthy, and feel good both physically and mentally. You have worked so hard to get to where you are that you have earned the right to look good wearing whatever YOU want to. I know we all know that misery loves company. You do not need people who are insecure and jealous hanging around you. They accepted you when you were MO they need to either learn to accept you thin or GOODBYE. I am learning that having this surgery i have had to clean out more then one closet as i get thinner. If people dont like who i am now then i dont have any time for them. I know that in time i will make new friends along this journey. I have also learned along the way that people that i really thought would never betray me or abandon me ...well lets just say are no longer in the picture. You should never have to change who you are for anyone . Your best friend is yourself and if you can look in the mirror and love who you see, others will feel it too. Have a great day and you better be wearing one of those nicer outfits! LisaMarie

You should continue wearing the clothes that make you happy and make you feel good. I don't know why people, friends included can't just be happy for all that we have done and the accomplishment that have been made. Personally speaking I have heard similar comments from some people and I ignore them and wear what I like, espicially the colour pink. Keep up the good work