Mirror,Mirror... OMG!!!

To all my new friends, I have always never minded my weight I have always been able to do what I wanted , and have the confidence to do it! Well I started coming on this board because I realized my weight was holding me back . I sometime dont have the energy to do what I want (or there is a weight limit!). I had to go out of town and stay at a hotel near the hospital my patient was admitted at . His wife set me up at the Crown Royal. They have of course an indoor pool and jacuzzi. I was excited . I was sore and tired from driving and the days hassles ( hurricane winds on the Mass Pike for 3 hours of driving!). Well I went up to the room and unpacked . Went into the bathroom to get my suit on OMG!!!! there was mirrors all over . At home I dont have any full length mirrors . I knew I was heavy BUT not that heavy ! I just said to myself at least I am now doing something about it. I inspected my body I was in such disbelief , I have seen people on discovery channel this big How could this have happened ! Needless to say I skipped the whole Jacuzzi idea . It was almost 7 pm and I knew I should go down to the restaurant before it closed . I felt as if all eyes were on me as if I were a freak! I never felt this uncomfortable in my own skin . I so wanted to chat with you all but I didnt have a computer . I felt so alone I couldnt wait to get back to my secure feelings of chatting with you all and be with my family . I want to thank all of you that have been supporting me and allowing me to share my feelings THANKS!!...........................Kitty

Kitty, Hun I am sorry you had to go through that ~hugs~ All I can say is I know how you are feeling, that was my thing as well. I never REALLY thought I was THAT heavy that I needed to have this surgery but as I researched more and took a good long look I DID need this! This whole journey is a wild ride hun, so many emotions so many feelings. Hang in there and you will do fine. ~hugs~ Email when you want hun.... Debra P

Debra, I was just thinking.. I am really glad to have even just made the appt and made some friends before that happened . It was really a reality check . If I didint have done that I really am scared what my next move would have been ! ...........Kitty

OH KITTY... hugs..... honestly for me i guess i dont have mirrors around home to really see....and i do think when i looked in the mirror my eyes focused on my hair...makeup and never the size i was. SO i can relate to you suddenly seeing. I do remember pre op trying to find clothes to fit me nothing i really liked did and seeing myself in the trying on room,.....I knew it was time for the surgery. I was also having a hard time just getting up the stairs in my home without feeling like i was gonna die of a heart attack. THOSE things pushed me to start the journey of my weight loss surgery. WISH you had your pc with you cause we do understand. I think these things are getting you even more ready for your surgery KEEP IN TOUCH HUGS LISA

I too am awaiting to have surgery. I began my journey about 1 1/2 months ago, still waiting on approval after 3 1/2 weeks. I have my days where I think I look good because, I too, am always focused on my face. I got very good at hiding under trendy big clothes. But then there are days, like in the bathtub, that I can't believe that I am this big. How did this happen? After new years this year, I realized, when I was the fattest girl at the party we went to, that I AM this big and that I HAVE TO do something about this, dieting never works for me. It recently has been clear to me that I am Morbidly Obese and this is scary. I know how you feel and OH has been a blessing to me as well. Your not alone, hang in there. lisa ronkonkoma, NY

Hi Kitty, I read your post and I really feel for you. We've probably all been where you are at at some point. I knew I was overweight since I was quite young and the only one with a weight problem in a family of 11 kids. Needless to say the more I got teased the more I ate. Anyway, this past year I made a decision after much research and never looked back. Suffice it to say, you are on the right track if you feel right about it! It takes confidence and self esteem to make such a courageous decision like WLS...!!! Take care of yourself and email me if you want to chat. At what hospital will your surgeon be performing your surgery? Hudson? I'm not too far from there.. LindaM

I know what you mean when you just gain some weight here and their and then you go shopping and see a full length mirror you look and say how did I get SOOO BIG. I hate mirrors, but I am now 1 1/2 weeks post op and feeling GREAT, and So happy with my self for making the choice to do the Lap Band. Beth