comfort eating...

Hey everyone, I started to eat more healthy things and I cut a few things out of my diet, like fried foods, all bread and soda. But I have a problem with comfort eating. I know that all of us have this problem. I was wondering what do you all do when you got the urge to comfort yourself with food? I mean, is there a replacement activity or something? debby

Debby: Call a friend write in a journal use the computer (post to us) go for a walk drink a large glass of water chew sugar free gum drink a large glass of water do any form of exercise computer games? read a book/magazine take up a hobby that has to do with your hands (needlepoint, knitting, crocheting, scrapbooking etc) listen to music get a good movie watch any TV show (stay away from the food network which I named food porn!) take a bath practice deep breathing/progressive muscle relaxation (your therapist could go over this with you) Meditate (again ask therapist if unsure) Dance (in your own home) or get a bellydancing video to use!good for you exercise! Look at renting or library for options brush your teeth get a book on emotional eating http://www.gurze.com/ has so many look at that site..something to read and tips to help! http://www.gurze.com/showproducts.cfm?FullCat=147 Appetite Awareness Workbook When Food is Love look like 2 good ones (shop aroundmay be cheaper at B&N or Borders or amazon) http://www.gurze.com/showproducts.cfm?FullCat=152 Anatomy of a Food Addiction French Toast for Breakfast (*I can say I own this and it is very good) http://www.gurze.com/showproducts.cfm?FullCat=194 this link has workbooks..take a look! just delay, divert attention helps cravings past. Positive self talk also helps praise self for getting through the craving! Begin to love yourself today! HUGS Take Care, Jamie Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh 320/163 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery) Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King "Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"

Hi Jamie, Thank you this is very helpful. I will look into the books you suggest. debby

Debby, I try to chew gum, get myself busy with something in the house.....sometimes it works and sometimes it does not to be honest, when I feel I need to pick I try to do it with fruit or nuts, something that will be not all that bad for you. I guess this is what we all have to learn to deal with and I am not so sure I have that part taken care of myself. I think I will have to take some time and see a psych to help me deal with this issue. Also there is a new board that they are starting called emotional eating and I will get you the link if you would like. I see the post up at the top of this page so you might be able to find it there, just let me know. ~hugs~ Debra P

Hi Debra, Sure I'd like the link for the emotional eating forum. I don't see it at the top. It is hard to get past the urge to eat. It is so ingrained that it is hard to come out of it. If that makes sense. I am gonna bring it up with my counselor also. Will start working on this in counseling. I hope it works out for you too. *hugs* debby

Debby, Here it is..... http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/emotionaleating/a,messageboard/board_id,1208/ It is just starting out and this will be in the works as it is not working all that great yet but I think we all could use this kind of help. Debra P

Debby, Well darn that did not work, ok try this one (from above post) and you just have to click the sneak peek link.. http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/NY/postdetail/46244.html?vc=0 Debra P

Here is a few articles I have on emotional eating: (I will put all in one mail so it will be long!) Jamie ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Emotional Eating January 15, 2005 Arthur Frenz, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Johnson City. He spoke to us today about how our past contributes to our emotional eating problems. He states we all suffer from emotional eating. We see that it is connected to our past. How we grew up is connected our current problems. What emotions are you dealing with when you begin eating? Sometimes you can't stop-you do it and you don't even think about it. What things upset you? Emotional discomfort, afraid, upset, angry. What is the trigger? This list is endless--loneliness, loss, frustration, boredom. It is very important to identify. How easy is it to pinpoint the upset? Anger is the most difficult to deal with. There are three responses to anger: a.. AGGRESSIVE: Lash out, physical, angry gestures. b.. PASSIVE: Stuff it, deny it. c.. ASSERTIVE: We don't know how to do it very well. Have to be strong in stance, polite, respectful, ask for what you want. That's the goal-requires practice. We don't know what to do with anger, so eating is an alternative. You know why you eat. How do you get past it? You need to take a positive action-getting help. WHAT'S THE POINT OF DWELLING ON THE PAST? I wish I had a nickel for every time I've heard some version of the question, "Why do we have to swell on the past? As a psychologist and psychotherapist, I've had quite a few opportunities to deal with the question over the past 14 years. And statements like usually follow it. "The past is the past," or "It's over and done with," or "I just want to move forward, not backward," and my personal favorite, "You can't change the past, so what's the point in talking about it?" Well, here's the point. Actually, there are two points. The first one has to do with learning from the past in order to change and improve the present and future. I know it's not always a lot of fun to talk about the childhood stuff, but you have to admit, some pretty important things occurred back there. This doesn't mean that everybody had a terrible childhood and all of our parents ought to be locked up (although sometimes this is exactly true). What is does mean is that in those early years we learned a whole bunch about processing (or not processing) feelings; how to protect ourselves emotionally; how to get what we want; how to deal with things such as fear, anger, loss, and abandonment; and how to handle sexuality, conflict, and closeness. Basically, we learned how to get by, how to survive in our world. And the things we did that worked the best are the things we held on to. Tightly. Very tightly. So tightly that we don't want to let go of them. Ever. Even though many of them are not working anymore because the Old World that they were created in has changed. The tools we carefully developed to help us escape the predicaments of life are now obsolete. But we handcrafted those babies and we drag them around like typewriters instead of Palm Pilots and use them defiantly, refusing to upgrade, driving those who love us most straight into my office. So if you think it might help to be aware of which tools you have in your tool bag as you go to work on life and relations and New World predicaments, then talking about the past is a good idea. The second point has to do with healing wounds. Yes, I know, those things happened a long time ago so you should be over it by now. Well, it's true that the events that caused you pain may be long gone, but what if your feelings about those events are still with your today? That kind of makes it a present problem more than a past problem, doesn't it? Sometimes those present feelings about those past events need to be talked about and heard and understood and tended to compassionately for proper healing to occur. So let's agree to not dwell on he past, but let's try to not be afraid of it either. Reprinted with permission from Dr. Frenz. This appeared in the Healthy Living Section of the Press & Sun-Bulletin ANGER MANAGEMENT 101 When you hear the term "Anger Management," who comes to mind? The boss with the quick temper? The parent with the slow fuse who explodes at the end of it? Sure, they need Anger Management. But what about the friendly neighbor, who has trouble asking for a favor? Or the depressive spouse, who never says no? It may come as a surprise, but those of use who hide our anger need Anger Management training as much as those who have difficulty controlling their anger. For starters, we need to recognize the difference between anger as a feeling and angry behaviors. Anger is a feeling, an emotion. What we do with that feeling is our behavior. Mad is a feeling. Yelling is a behavior. Pissed off is a feeling. An intimidating glare is a behavior. When someone says. "I never get angry," they really mean that they never outwardly express their angry feelings. They may not know it, but they have feelings of anger everyday, just like you and I. How we "manage" those feelings falls into one of three categories. An aggressive response (yelling, hitting, throwing, intimidating) often leads to guilt, apologies, a period of calm, then a repeat performance. A style of passive response (stuffing, denying, caving in, saying or doing nothing) creates a build up of resentment and emotional distance. An assertive response (speaking up and asking for what we would like in a firm, strong way that is still respectful and tactful) gives us the best chance (though not a guarantee) of getting what we want without hurting others. The first two styles, aggressive and passive, come real naturally. They're easy, require no practice, and seem to be innate, primitive tools. Everybody knows how to have a tantrum. And everybody knows how to suck it up. The third one, assertive, does not come naturally at all. It is a skill that has to be learned. And practiced. A lot. And it is hard. Interestingly, the solution for those with either of the problematic styles (aggressive and passive) is the same. They both need to learn to be more assertive. Aggressive people tend to act out their angry feelings because they don't know how to verbalize them in an appropriate way. Passive people do their stuffing thing because they too don't know how to articulate the feelings and they are also probably afraid of the conflict. Of course, most of us are not simply "aggressive" or "passive" people. Rather, we often are passive for a while, until we feel we've taken enough crap and then we allow ourselves to lash out in some way. Here's the good news. Putting an end to the angry outbursts CAN occur relatively quickly. This part is not rocket science. First, you identify the specific behaviors you want and need to eliminate from your repertoire (writing them down is good). Second, you absolutely trash any idea you may have that you "can't" control them because "it happens too fast" or "the feeling is too powerful" or because the other person is "making" you so angry. Third, you make an actual commitment to STOP doing these behaviors. You stop them because they are hurtful to others, unhealthy for you, and just plain wrong. Fourth, you work your tail off, one day at a time, to refrain from indulging in these behaviors. Now the bad news. When you take away the angry outbursts, as well as the passive avoidance of anger, you are left with a vacuum. This vacuum needs to be filled with, what else but, assertiveness skills? The hard part is that the learning process here is slower and more difficult. It requires the courage to try your best, mess up, learn from it, and try again. And repeat. Forever. Reprinted with permission from Dr. Frenz. This appeared in the Healthy Living Section of the Press & Sun-Bulletin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Think Thin -- for Life 5 Ways to Put Your Mind to Work and Reach Your Weight Loss Goals By John P. Foreyt WebMD Weight Loss Clinic - Feature Know thyself. That ancient bit of wisdom stands the test of time, and it's particularly relevant for people who want to lose weight and keep it off -- without crash diets, special foods, or punishing self-denial. Being successful at weight management is a question of mind over matter: You start by changing the way you think and act. It's a lot easier than it sounds, and there are five basic strategies to accomplish the goal. Self-monitoring -- Knowledge Is Power First and most important is self-monitoring, which means increasing self-awareness. In other words, if you're really going to change the way you eat and keep fit, you have to know what you're eating and how active you are. The first step is to keep a food diary -- not forever, just a few days or weeks. Write down what you eat, then look up the calories, write down the number of minutes you're active every day, then gradually make changes that are necessary. For example, if you discover that you're eating more than you would like, think about why, and start evaluating your mood state when you're eating. When I work with patients in the clinic, I have found that people generally have no problem with overeating in the morning, and most often not in the afternoon. For most people who struggle with their weight, night eating is the culprit, so certainly pay attention to your mood states when you're eating during the day, but pay most attention to the evening. We find that the No. 1 cause of people getting into trouble is emotional eating: People eat in response to stress, tension, anxiety, depression, loneliness, anger, boredom -- all negative mood states. You can get a handle on this when you're eating by asking yourself "How am I feeling?" and write it down. Stimulus Control -- Breaking Down the Barriers to Healthy Eating Once you've identified the barriers to weight management -- stress, lack of regular exercise, time constraints, etc. -- you can figure out a plan to break down or get around those barriers. For example, perhaps you could exercise at lunchtime by taking a brisk walk. In our society, everybody is too gosh darn busy to exercise, so to change the mindset we talk about starting with five or 10 minutes of purposeful activity: Stand up, shut your TV off, put your computer on standby, and just go walk for 5 or 10 minutes, and gradually build from there. You just want to make small changes over time, gradually building up to 30 to 60 minutes a day. Setting Realistic Goals ('Cognitive Restructuring') Although every person is different, you can realistically expect to lose about 10% of your body weight, so a 200-pound person can reasonably expect to lose about 20 pounds over six months and maintain the lower weight. How do you get there? With small steps. What we typically do with patients is get them to record what they're eating for a week, find out the average calories for a day, and then follow the "100-100" plan: just cut 100 calories and add 100 calorie-burning units of activity (about a 20 minute walk) a day. Take the 100 calories from hidden fat -- that means a little less dressing on your salad or a little less butter or margarine on your bread; you'll never miss it. That 200 calorie daily deficit, if you stick with it, will translate into about a 20 pound weight loss in a year. "Being successful at weight management is a question of mind over matter: You start by changing the way you think and act. " I also remind patients to get a life. Some people put their life on hold because of their weight -- they don't go to a party or neglect doing something because they think they're too fat, and that's really unhealthy. I ask my patients to write positive statements about themselves, such as "I'm a great person, I'm doing what I can, I'm doing a little bit of exercise each day, I'm getting up and walking early in the morning for 15 minutes," and have them repeat that 3 to 5 times a day. It really helps people start changing the way they think about themselves. I also ask them the meaning of life, which has nothing to do with what people weigh, but everything to do with loving other people and helping other people. What's really important is your family, your friends, your colleagues, and getting on with living. Stress Management -- Chilling Out to Slim Down Stress is a major predictor of relapse or weight regain, so we ask our patients to try to identify major stresses in their life and deal with them either directly or indirectly. What does that mean? Well, if your boss makes your life a living hell and you can't get another job, you can still use proven stress reduction techniques, such as breathing exercises, repeating simple words or phrases as a "mantra," or simple physical activity such as a brisk walk to warm the blood and cool the head. Social Support -- In Unity There Is Strength It always helps to share goals with family or friends. If you've got a family or close friends who will share healthy meals, take walks together, and generally support you in your goals of weight management, terrific. But what if you don't have a support network? I had one patient whose husband kept plying her with donuts and other fattening foods when he knew she was trying to lose weight (she got rid of the weight and him, by the way). I ask my patients who can't get family support to take a class in something, join a club, or in some other meaningful way to get involved with other people, building good relationships and finding a good support system. Small Changes, Big Results When you put all of these strategies together, you can see that they're aimed at changing the way you think about yourself. You begin to think, "I can do this, I can be in charge of my life, I can make small steps over time" and then you can focus on health and well-being. It works. Try it. You have nothing to lose but weight, and a world of self-esteem to gain. Originally published Jan. 30, 2004 Medically updated Dec. 9, 2004 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Subject: Emotional Eating A Tough Habit to Break http://www.fortwayne.com/mld/newssentinel/living/13515769.htm?template=contentModules/printstory.jsp Posted on Fri, Dec. 30, 2005 Emotional eating a tough habit to break BY LINDA H. LAMB Knight Ridder Newspapers "Stop crying, and I'll give you a cookie." Perhaps the powerful connection between food and feelings can start just that simply. When we're children, sometimes a cookie is all it takes. Our psychic scaffolding is not that complicated when it comes to food. So we get used to these connections, to the ways food makes us feel better. They're as smooth as the cheddar in a grilled-cheese sandwich, as sweet as a birthday cupcake, as simple as dipping an Oreo in milk. Indulge in emotional eating as an adult, however, and it's a sure way to pile on calories, guilt and pounds. And it is hard to break the habit of using food as a coping mechanism, said Stephanie Greene, a therapist who works with obesity patients. "We all eat emotionally, especially during the holidays," said Greene, who has not had bypass surgery herself. "We're eating the anxiety, we're eating the stress, we're eating the loneliness. "We're eating all the feelings." That's a diet on which Danielle Shull of Columbia became more than 100 pounds overweight. "I've pretty much been an emotional eater all my life," said Shull, 26. You might picture "emotional eating" as a guy who scarfs a whole pizza after his girlfriend dumps him, or a woman who sadly sits in front of a Lifetime movie spooning from a pint of Haagen-Dazs ice cream. But like most people who become obese, Shull said she came to regard food as a fix for all sorts of feelings, not just sadness. "In my family we celebrate everything thing with food," she said. "Everything revolves around food." That meant huge feasts on holidays, food-centered birthday parties and big spreads on Sundays - "everything fried and fattening," she said. "As I got older, whenever boredom or loneliness would set in, I would head for one of those comfort foods," Shull said. Frank Chesno has counseled Shull and hundreds of other patients looking into gastric-bypass surgery as a solution to serious obesity. He's a clinical psychologist and director of outpatient psychiatric services at Palmetto Health Baptist. Everywhere people go, they are baited with food through billboards, TV ads, restaurants and even church events, he observed. If you're inclined to use food for comfort, you can do so constantly, including in your car or at your computer. "Emotional eating is a coping tactic for a lot of us," he said. In personality tests, emotional eaters score high in "denial," Chesno said. On some level, they know they're prone to eat the wrong foods for the wrong reasons, but they persist even in the face of serious complications such as diabetes, cardiovascular problems and aching joints. "Food can be so enjoyable and attractive to people that they don't reckon with the downside," Chesno said. "It feels good, emotionally ... It's satisfying." For Kirby Player of Clemson, the pull of emotional eating took him to almost 400 pounds during the past two years as he dealt with a difficult family situation. Even more distressing, this came after he had worked hard to lose 150 pounds in 2001-2002. With his father ill in his hometown of Bishopville, S.C., Player has been driving there every weekend. That's 180 miles there and 180 miles back. With the stress of the situation, the convenience of fast food and the lure of traditional Southern fare at home, the hard-lost pounds came back. Most people won't hit 396 pounds as he has, yet who can't relate to the mindless comfort when a favorite food hits the spot? Player has insight about that, and his own term for the denial. "I refer to it as eating amnesia," said Player, 44, an alumni and donor-services coordinator at Clemson University. "I recognize what I need to be doing," he said. "But when I'm sitting in front of that plate of pizza or fried chicken, I'm immersed in that moment of pleasure or release or celebration. It's almost like being a zombie." Deeann Richardson of Irmo, S.C., overdosed on her favorite salty and starchy foods when she had to leave a successful career because of fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. "You're comforting yourself for that loss," said Richardson, 41. She gained about 75 pounds, continuing to overeat even with encroaching health problems such as diabetes, hypertension, an enlarged heart and high cholesterol. She knew she needed to lose the weight, but "there comes a point where that seems unattainable," she said. "You feel you can't change it, so you might as well enjoy (the food)." It's interesting that emotional eating can be a problem for the emaciated as well as for the obese, said Katherine Spinks, - a dietitian with the Greenville Hospital System's Life Center. For example, anorexic patients so fear overeating - and losing control - that they starve themselves. Those with bulimia follow the pleasure of bingeing with the pain of purging, using vomiting or laxatives. These behaviors may differ from the overeating that leads to obesity, but patients in all three groups tend to feel guilty, Spinks said. "I think one of the worst things about emotional eating is that afterward, the guilt and stress about how we deal with it makes us beat ourselves up," she said. That leads to a vicious cycle: People feel stressed, they overeat to calm or comfort themselves, then they feel guilty and stressed, and that sends them back to their "comfort foods." Strictly speaking, emotional eating is not just emotional. Physiological factors are at work as well, said Patrick O'Neil, a psychiatry professor and director of the Weight Management Center at the Medical University of South Carolina. Compounds in foods such as carbohydrates and chocolate trigger reactions that raise the level of tryptophan in the brain, he said. - That is a precursor to serotonin, a neurochemical that can moderate moods. The prevalence of obesity in certain families may point to a genetic predisposition to obesity, though it might be hard to separate this factor from eating habits that also run in families. Using food to reward children is a pattern that definitely can backfire, Chesno said. When children grow older, they might overuse food as a reward - and they probably won't reward themselves with tossed salads. In any case, O'Neil said, eating obviously is a satisfying activity or else people wouldn't do enough of it to keep the species going. And with the availability of food and food-centered occasions, he said, "most of us are never more than five minutes away from more calories than we know what to do with." Shull and Richardson eventually sought gastric-bypass surgery when their eating patterns led to extreme obesity. They are doing well, but the surgery is significant and involves significant risk. How can you get a grip on emotional eating before you reach that point? The first step is to really understand your own eating patterns. In a notebook, write down everything you eat for a few weeks, also jotting down details such as when you ate and what your mood was at the time. This can help you adopt more healthy behavior. Even though you might have yourself pegged as "a stress eater," for example, you might not understand what you really were seeking through that late-night orgy with the chocolate eclairs. "Even if you have three people who eat when they're depressed, they could be eating for three different reasons," O'Neil said: _One might be seeking pleasure - might in fact feel that eating is about the only thing that still provides pleasure in life. _One might be thinking, "Arghhh, this has been a crummy day and I deserve a little treat." _The third depressed person might overindulge as a distraction, to take his or her mind off - other things. It's important to analyze these patterns so you can come up with options besides emotional eating. Sticking with our three examples, here are some possible solutions: _The pleasure-seeking person can shift to another pleasurable activity as an alternative - take a nice bubble bath, for example, or a walk by the river. _The person who craves a reward can find one that doesn't involve food, such as going to a movie or buying something to wear. _The person who needs a diversion might keep a list of things to do at such times, including anything from washing the car to e-mailing an old friend. Along the same line of self-analysis, O'Neil advises people to ask themselves what they were looking for when they indulged in emotional eating. "Then ask, what are some other ways of getting that same feeling, of calming, comfort or whatever?" For the many people who overeat when under stress, it's important to find ways to manage that stress, O'Neil said. These could include learning meditation, yoga or breathing techniques. "Exercise can elevate mood, too," he said, a tip echoed by all the experts and dieters interviewed for this story. If you do slip and eat something "bad," don't demean yourself, Spinks said. And don't use one lapse as an excuse to eat a jumbo bag of Doritos. On the other hand, if you know a certain food is a sure-fire trigger for bingeing when you're blue, don't make that easier by always keeping it around the house. Dealing with emotional eating is like dealing with addiction, said Lynn Edwards, the bariatric program coordinator at Lexington Medical Center. She counsels obese patients and has undergone gastric-bypass surgery herself, going from a size 26 to a size 4. "Probably the worst culprit is TV," Edwards said. "Practically every commercial that comes on is about food. We teach people to get away from that, just move away from the TV, call a friend, go for a walk. Get away from whatever's making you think about food." Basic good-health practices can lessen your tendency toward emotional eating, experts say. For example, exercising regularly helps you physically and emotionally. Getting enough sleep leaves you less vulnerable to mindless eating out of exhaustion. Eating regular meals and healthful snacks is advisable; go too long without food and you'll be more likely to have a mega-meal when you do eat. And finding lower-calorie substitutes for your old favorites can help minimize the damage if you eat too much. Veteran of countless diets, Player said he'd noticed that people who succeed maintain an even keel of sensible eating and exercise, passing up those opportunities to splurge on holidays and vacations. He plans to return to such a regimen, too, and to find more time for exercise even with his harried travel schedule. Shull, who had her surgery only last month, - still gets emotion-driven cravings. She is learning to occupy herself with hobbies such as scrapbooking and crossword puzzles. "I clean my house. I go to the mall and window-shop. I go help somebody," she said. "My biggest problem was dealing with boredom and loneliness. Whenever I get that way, I just need to get busy." --- TIPS TO HELP YOU GAIN CONTROL OVER EMOTIONAL EATING _There's always a bit of time between the moment you decide to eat something and the moment you actually put it into your mouth. Use that time to ask yourself this question: "What am I really hungry for?" _Try to deal honestly with the answer to that question, especially if the food you crave is a high-calorie, low-nutrition diet buster. Could it be that you're not really hungry, but rather anxious, stressed out, lonely, angry, bored or in the mood to celebrate? _Try an alternative to eating as a better way to deal with your feelings. Examples: If you're celebrating or rewarding yourself, enjoy a movie or buy yourself something new to wear. If you're lonely, call a friend. If you're stressed, take a brisk walk to work off steam. _To get a handle on your emotional eating patterns, use a little notebook to write down everything you eat. Include details such as when you eat, how quickly you finish and what you feel at the time. _Some foods might be such powerful triggers for overeating, you shouldn't keep them in the house. Identify other triggers - such as TV commercials - and avoid them. _Remember that exercise is a great way to elevate your mood, if you tend to eat when you're down. _When you do give in to a craving, pay attention to portion size. For example, go get a scoop of ice cream at Baskin-Robbins, rather than buying a half-gallon of ice cream at the grocery store. _Occasional splurges won't ruin you. Don't beat yourself up over them. Say, "OK, I had that Twix bar, but now it's back to eating sensibly." _Get enough sleep. You'll tend to eat mindlessly when you're fatigued. _Eat a healthy, balanced diet and don't go too long between meals and snacks. You're more likely to make bad food choices when you feel you're starving. _Parents, don't make your kids clean their plates; let them stop when they're satisfied. And find other ways to reward and motivate children, rather than food - including hugs and comments such as "I'm so proud of you." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Weight Loss: Emotional Eating Emotional eating is the practice of consuming large quantities of food -- usually "comfort" or junk foods -- in response to feelings instead of hunger. Experts estimate that 75% of overeating is caused by emotions. Many of us learn that food can bring comfort, at least in the short-term. As a result, we often turn to food to heal emotional problems. Eating becomes a habit preventing us from learning skills that can effectively resolve our emotional distress. Depression, boredom, loneliness, chronic anger, anxiety, frustration, stress, problems with interpersonal relationships and poor self-esteem can result in overeating and unwanted weight gain. By identifying what triggers our eating, we can substitute more appropriate techniques to manage our emotional problems and take food and weight gain out of the equation. How Can I Identify Eating Triggers? Situations and emotions that trigger us to eat fall into five main categories. · Social. Eating when around other people. For example, excessive eating can result from being encouraged by others to eat; eating to fit in; arguing; or feelings of inadequacy around other people. · Emotional. Eating in response to boredom, stress, fatigue, tension, depression, anger, anxiety or loneliness as a way to "fill the void." · Situational. Eating because the opportunity is there. For example, at a restaurant, seeing an advertisement for a particular food, passing by a bakery. Eating may also be associated with certain activities such as watching TV, going to the movies or a sporting event, etc. · Thoughts. Eating as a result of negative self-worth or making excuses for eating. For example, scolding oneself for looks or a lack of will power. · Physiological. Eating in response to physical cues. For example, increased hunger due to skipping meals or eating to cure headaches or other pain. To identify what triggers excessive eating in you, keep a food diary that records what and when you eat as well as what stressors, thoughts, or emotions you identify as you eat. You should begin to identify patterns to your excessive eating fairly quickly. How Do I Break Myself of the Habit? Identifying eating triggers is the first step; however, this alone is not sufficient to alter eating behavior. Usually, by the time you have identified a pattern, eating in response to emotions or certain situations has become a pattern. Now you have to break the habit. Developing alternatives to eating is the second step. When you start to reach for food in response to a trigger, try one of the following activities instead. · Read a good book or magazine or listen to music · Go for a walk or jog · Take a bubble bath · Do deep breathing exercises · Play cards or a board game · Talk to a friend · Do housework, laundry or yard work · Wash the car · Write a letter · Or do any other pleasurable or necessary activity until the urge to eat passes What If Distracting Myself Isn't Enough to Keep Me From Eating? Sometimes simply distracting yourself from eating and developing alternative habits is not enough to manage the emotional distress that leads to excessive eating. To more effectively cope with emotional stress, try · Relaxation exercises · Meditation · Individual or group counseling These techniques address the underlying emotional problems which are causing you to binge and teach you to cope in more effective and healthier ways. For more information on these techniques, contact your doctor. As you learn to incorporate more appropriate coping strategies and to curb excessive eating, remember to reward yourself for a job well done. We tend to repeat behaviors that have been reinforced, so reward yourself when you meet your nutrition management goals. Buy that blouse, take that vacation, or get that massage you wanted. By rewarding yourself for a job well done you increase the likelihood that you will maintain your new healthy habits. View the full table of contents for the Weight Loss Guide. Reviewed by the Department of Nutrition Therapy at The Cleveland Clinic. Edited by Charlotte Grayson, MD, WebMD, August 2004. http://www.webmd.com/content/Article/48/2731_1674.htm?printing=true ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LOSS OF FOOD based on discussion on Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' Death and Dying First Phase Of Grieving Is Denial: a.. Shock b.. Looking at ourselves and wondering what is going to happen to me. c.. Wow d.. Why couldn't I have done this before? e.. Fear of doing it. f.. I survived it. g.. Fear of putting it back on. h.. Felt sick i.. Scared j.. Fear of the unknown k.. Dying l.. Mood swings m.. Going to work n.. Depressed o.. Feel proud p.. Loss of food q.. Mouth will be bigger than your stomach Ø These are some of the feelings that you have during this phase. We will look at being healthier. This is a new concept. Why didn't we think of this beforehand? Ø Don't let anyone tell you that this was an easy way out. This is the most difficult way out and it will be a stormy time that will last a lifetime. Ø When we are in crisis we will reach for food, but since we had this surgery, we have to replace it with something else. Second Phase of Grieving is Anger: · We can't have what we want to eat. (See Maslow's Pyramid of Basic Needs at the end.) · Our first level is Food, O2, H2O, Shelter, and Sex. · We must think ahead and prepare ahead. · We will stuff our anger. · Our attitude will change. · We look for food-grazing. · We can't have it anymore. Third Phase of Grieving is Bargaining: · We try to cheat a little here and there. · You want more-you get sick and gain weight. · Food is an addiction. · It is hard to take care of this when it's a basic need-you don't recall it because you stuff your face when you are hurting. · You have to substitute something for food-drink water, shopping, exercise, quilting, and computer. Fourth Phase of Grieving is Depression: · You need to go and have cognitive therapy, which is thinking and learning. · You have to be on top of it at all times. · You have to deal with the issues and feel okay where the bargaining is okay and not feel guilty. · Depression comes on and you need to treat the feelings, which are uncomfortable. Fifth Phase of Grieving is Acceptance: · What do you do to cope? Exercise, drink water, exercise, relax, yoga, soft music. · This doesn't mean that you are done with the grieving process. · You accept yourself as a whole emotionally, physically, safety, and security. Pretend this is a circle: Emotional Eating Cycle EAT DEPRESSION - GUILT INSECURE Pretend this is a pyramid: Maslow's Pyramid Ø Self-Actualization (reaching your goals) Ø Self-Esteem (physical being) comes from within Ø Love/Belonging Ø Safety/Security Ø Food, O2, H2O, Shelter, Sex If you never take the risk, you will never have love or belong. Self-esteem is where am I in life? Ø Every day you should have a goal, also a 6-month goal, 12-month goal, 5-year goal. You set goals ahead of time and you can always change these goals. Ø When you get up in the morning, you set your tone for the day. If you get up grumpy that's the way your day will be, etc. Ø When you look at yourself-you have built this wall-physically and emotionally. Ø The other part that is involved is relationships-they may not like the new you-change-relationship changes. Ø It has to be a joint effort in order to make the relationship work. Ø Self-actualization is when you have met your goals. You can drop in the pyramid in 30 seconds with a loss in job, death, loss of marriage, health. You have to be cautious. Ø We are surrounded by food-when there is a death in the family people bring food, when you are ill, loss of a job, and socialization. All of these revolve around food. Ø A lot of us don't make self-actualization as it takes lots of hard work to achieve it. If you would like to read about Maslow and the pyramid go to: http://web.utk.edu/~gwynne/maslow.HTM http://chiron.valdosta.edu/whuitt/col/regsys/maslow.html ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~