update on me.
Tavia V
on 1/20/06 10:41 pm - Long Island, NY
on 1/20/06 10:41 pm - Long Island, NY
Good Morning everyone!
The second opinion went great and he agreed w/everything. Nice man. It was very interesting to talk to a doctor who actually went through WLS himself. The reason why my surgeon suggested I go see him is b/c this other surgeon also have had two patients with every similar complications as myself. Instead of using "toast", he used "a bagel". 
His two patients are two of the a very few cases who have been reported to have this problem. This is how rare my problem is. His patients are the only ones documented in New York to have had this complication. It makes you wonder how many other people out there have the problem and the surgeon just blows it off that they arent "chewing well", "eating the wrong things", "in their heads" etc. etc. Doesnt it?
I have had a million and one CT-Scans, a few upper GIs, loads of blood/urine, a couple of endoscopys, two exploritory surgeries..nothing, nothing and nothing. Most doctors at this point would raise their eyebrows towards me. Dr. Gellman never did. He truly did believe me(and quite honesty one of only doctors I have had to deal with who did) and said he knows there is something going on but he just "cant find it"...because he is a bad surgeon? No, he's quite the opposite. It was because were dealing with a problem almost no one has.
He truly is a humble caring surgeon...not the phony nice most of these types of surgeons are... who then go and demand the rest of the out of network payment from you and refuse to see you if you dont keep up with payments...then go and sue you. Dr. Gellman has just the same experience in WLS as any other great surgeon around. He just doesnt want to go on TV and talk about how wonderful he is, that is all. He doesnt run a chop-shop to see how many "stomaches he can staple" this week and then never have any time for his post-op patients, leaving that "minor" work to P.As, residents, lesser associates etc.
Surgeons are quite human and surgery is an imperfect science. There were times when I became so frustrated I almost lost it. There were times when he/his partner became so frustrated they almost lost it. Does this mean they are bad surgeons? No, it means they were not afraid to show me actually what they were thinking/going through. They know this made me feel better knowing I wasnt alone in suffering through this. All doctors get this way when they deal w/complicated cases, they just do not want to show the patient they are confused/frustrated/concerned. They want to look like the machine/God that most patients want them to be. Like he said, you shouldn't get into medicine/surgery to not deal w/sick people and complicated cases. Never once did he make me feel like I was bothering him. Besides him being in the operating room he would call me back very quickly regardless of where he was...hospital, office, home, car etc. and would proceed to say "hi tavia, this is larry." I can go on about him but people who know him, know that I am talking about. He has said to me I have "humbled" him.
He told me it truly does break their hearts when a patient of theirs suffers in relation to the bypass operation. He says he wishes he can say "sorry" to the patient suffering, not b/c it was his fault, but b/c he truly doesnt want to see patients he cares about suffer/struggle. It can be silly things like a consitpation to a horrible problem like mine. This is b/c they don't HAVE to operate on the person. (It's not like the cases they see of a patients appendix is going bad and it needs to come out or they will die in a day.)
Most complications after a bypass operation are not the surgeons fault, it can just happen. That is the risk we all took. We all agreed and signed on the dotted line for the major/risky surgery and agreed and understood complications can happen...and they did for me. I know it's for someome to understand exactly how I feel w/out having had any real complications like myself but easier for them to just blame the surgeon. Surgeons arent God and they can't control everything. This is where the God-complex comes in w/many of these types of surgeons. They try to control has much has they can but some is literally out of their hands.
Anyway, this is going to happen on Tuesday.(be there 6:30am, surgery 830 am) They are not going to just revise the Y-connection and but it back. They are going to "built" me a whole new one. They are going to remove the old connection and make a fresh new one. If there some sort partial sm. obstruction in there(which isnt showing up on any tests) it will be gone and I will be good to go. If it is a functional problem, they are going to make the new connection has wide as they can make it so it can be as comfortable for me to eat as possible. They are also going to move up the Y-connection up my roux limb so my nausea/discomfort will be shorter period of time if my problem truly is a functional one. The food will travel less in the roux limb and will get the digestion stage a lot sooner, leaving less time for the stasis that happens in my roux limb. Of course I will have some intestine removed(b/c they are taking out the whole y-connection and builting a new one) but only a couple of inches.
I do completely understand all of this might not help and that is a risk I am willing to take. I told him if there was a 50% chance I would die I would still going along with it. Dr. Gellman knows I am serious. He says I am in the 1% of their patients who actually are. He says most patients who have a hard time turn angry/bitter, refuse to talk about it and disappear. He knows I am not that way. He says he knows most patients hear the wonderul stories from bypass patients about losing so much weight/no problems and never hear the bad and ugly side of it that can happen but not in a bitter bashing way. (By the way, Laurie, Dr. Gellman did tell me you said "Hi".
) Please stop by if you want, I will be going no where! He said he will keep me in for four days is everything goes wonderful...passing gas, keeping liquids down etc.
On the other hand, I am tired of suffering and there is no morphine for suffering. I am tired of being nausea most of the time and I would take major surgery pains/risks any day over being nauseous for the rest of my life. This is why everyone agrees going along w/this surgery will be the best thing to do right now. I will stop by before I go in on tuesday to say Hi again. Take care everyone! 
Tavia
The second opinion went great and he agreed w/everything. Nice man. It was very interesting to talk to a doctor who actually went through WLS himself. The reason why my surgeon suggested I go see him is b/c this other surgeon also have had two patients with every similar complications as myself. Instead of using "toast", he used "a bagel". His two patients are two of the a very few cases who have been reported to have this problem. This is how rare my problem is. His patients are the only ones documented in New York to have had this complication. It makes you wonder how many other people out there have the problem and the surgeon just blows it off that they arent "chewing well", "eating the wrong things", "in their heads" etc. etc. Doesnt it?
I have had a million and one CT-Scans, a few upper GIs, loads of blood/urine, a couple of endoscopys, two exploritory surgeries..nothing, nothing and nothing. Most doctors at this point would raise their eyebrows towards me. Dr. Gellman never did. He truly did believe me(and quite honesty one of only doctors I have had to deal with who did) and said he knows there is something going on but he just "cant find it"...because he is a bad surgeon? No, he's quite the opposite. It was because were dealing with a problem almost no one has.
He truly is a humble caring surgeon...not the phony nice most of these types of surgeons are... who then go and demand the rest of the out of network payment from you and refuse to see you if you dont keep up with payments...then go and sue you. Dr. Gellman has just the same experience in WLS as any other great surgeon around. He just doesnt want to go on TV and talk about how wonderful he is, that is all. He doesnt run a chop-shop to see how many "stomaches he can staple" this week and then never have any time for his post-op patients, leaving that "minor" work to P.As, residents, lesser associates etc.
Surgeons are quite human and surgery is an imperfect science. There were times when I became so frustrated I almost lost it. There were times when he/his partner became so frustrated they almost lost it. Does this mean they are bad surgeons? No, it means they were not afraid to show me actually what they were thinking/going through. They know this made me feel better knowing I wasnt alone in suffering through this. All doctors get this way when they deal w/complicated cases, they just do not want to show the patient they are confused/frustrated/concerned. They want to look like the machine/God that most patients want them to be. Like he said, you shouldn't get into medicine/surgery to not deal w/sick people and complicated cases. Never once did he make me feel like I was bothering him. Besides him being in the operating room he would call me back very quickly regardless of where he was...hospital, office, home, car etc. and would proceed to say "hi tavia, this is larry." I can go on about him but people who know him, know that I am talking about. He has said to me I have "humbled" him.
He told me it truly does break their hearts when a patient of theirs suffers in relation to the bypass operation. He says he wishes he can say "sorry" to the patient suffering, not b/c it was his fault, but b/c he truly doesnt want to see patients he cares about suffer/struggle. It can be silly things like a consitpation to a horrible problem like mine. This is b/c they don't HAVE to operate on the person. (It's not like the cases they see of a patients appendix is going bad and it needs to come out or they will die in a day.)
Most complications after a bypass operation are not the surgeons fault, it can just happen. That is the risk we all took. We all agreed and signed on the dotted line for the major/risky surgery and agreed and understood complications can happen...and they did for me. I know it's for someome to understand exactly how I feel w/out having had any real complications like myself but easier for them to just blame the surgeon. Surgeons arent God and they can't control everything. This is where the God-complex comes in w/many of these types of surgeons. They try to control has much has they can but some is literally out of their hands.
Anyway, this is going to happen on Tuesday.(be there 6:30am, surgery 830 am) They are not going to just revise the Y-connection and but it back. They are going to "built" me a whole new one. They are going to remove the old connection and make a fresh new one. If there some sort partial sm. obstruction in there(which isnt showing up on any tests) it will be gone and I will be good to go. If it is a functional problem, they are going to make the new connection has wide as they can make it so it can be as comfortable for me to eat as possible. They are also going to move up the Y-connection up my roux limb so my nausea/discomfort will be shorter period of time if my problem truly is a functional one. The food will travel less in the roux limb and will get the digestion stage a lot sooner, leaving less time for the stasis that happens in my roux limb. Of course I will have some intestine removed(b/c they are taking out the whole y-connection and builting a new one) but only a couple of inches.
I do completely understand all of this might not help and that is a risk I am willing to take. I told him if there was a 50% chance I would die I would still going along with it. Dr. Gellman knows I am serious. He says I am in the 1% of their patients who actually are. He says most patients who have a hard time turn angry/bitter, refuse to talk about it and disappear. He knows I am not that way. He says he knows most patients hear the wonderul stories from bypass patients about losing so much weight/no problems and never hear the bad and ugly side of it that can happen but not in a bitter bashing way. (By the way, Laurie, Dr. Gellman did tell me you said "Hi".) Please stop by if you want, I will be going no where! He said he will keep me in for four days is everything goes wonderful...passing gas, keeping liquids down etc.
On the other hand, I am tired of suffering and there is no morphine for suffering. I am tired of being nausea most of the time and I would take major surgery pains/risks any day over being nauseous for the rest of my life. This is why everyone agrees going along w/this surgery will be the best thing to do right now. I will stop by before I go in on tuesday to say Hi again. Take care everyone!
Tavia 
Hi Tavia. Glad to hear from you. I will be praying for you Tuesday as you go through your surgery. I am so glad you have such confidence in your surgeon..........just knowing and feeling that he is the best puts your mind at ease and makes the whole process go more smoothly.
Please know you are in my thoughts. I hope to hear rom you before Tuesday. SH
God be with you--take care of you and guide the surgeons' hands and mind and heart.
Be Blessed,
MarianS.C.
242.4/186.8/goal 125-130? 
Hi Tavia,
You've got an angel of a surgeon. I hope to God that mine is truly & sincerely the same way....so far, so good.
I'll say extra prayers for you over the next week just to add anything more to a succesful, safe and satisfactory surgery. They will be for your surgical team & family as well.
You probably can't prepare any more than you have already so try to relax over the weekend, have some fun and focus on all that is positive once you are able to eat again.
Take care of your self. We are all pulling for you!!!
LindaM
Tavia,
You have a surgeon who goes the extra mile. The one that says, I do not care how long it takes, I am going to make you better. They are a rare breed.
My gastroenterologists are like that. I remember one day when nothing was helping my crohns, I was on lots of pain killers, steroids, etc, and ready to just shoot myself to stop it all. My doc looked at me and said, just hang in there, we are going to do all we can to get you back into life. He worked for weeks researching and reading and keeping me informed until he found something. He was so humbled by the experience but what he did meant the world to me.
Maybe I will see you in my anesthetic journies on Tuesday. I will say hi.
Be happy and safe.
Sandra
Tavia V
on 1/21/06 1:21 am - Long Island, NY
on 1/21/06 1:21 am - Long Island, NY
Sandra,
That is just it. Doctors are suppose to figure out what is wrong w/their patients, that is what they get paid to big bucks for and supposedly why most get into medicine. Doctors are not Gods, they are just another person who just has a lot more medical education/experience than myself. Sometimes if the problem is not staring right back at them(lets say in reference to WLS a stricture or twist in an intestine) they just blow it off that it is in the "patients head". I can give you my list of doctors I have talked to who have blown me off has "making things up" and became insensitive towards me. I didnt let them get to me b/c I came to the understanding they do not know too much about RNY and my situation just frustrated them too much. Fine.
I stuck w/ it, was pleasant and cooperated even when no one seemed to know what to do. I could have decided to fall on the floor and start yelling, screaming, cursing, crying and blaming everyone who came near me for my problems. But when I am done doing that, I STILL will have the same problems but just embrassed myself and made the doctors apprehensive in helping me.
Anyway, my situation just got to the point where instead of running around in circles and wasting more time, they had to pretty much make up a test to find out my answer, and then they found it. Mind you, during all of this I was frustrated and they were frustrated. Nausea/discomfort are symptoms of a problem. It wasnt my fault nor his the problem was just really hard to find.
I am very appreciative of the few doctors who have been so good in helping me. I will always remember and be thankful towards them but I do need to get better and move on. Each one of them have gotten thank you cards from me. Two of them have them in their offices and have told me it just helps remind them why they want to help people.
Good luck to you as well and I wish you nothing but the best! Take care.
Tavia
Tavia 
Tavia,
You are truly amazing and your doctor is an angel. Reading your posts and your profile, I know what a hard time you have had and I don't know if I could have kept up my spirit the way have. You make me cry, with sadness, happiness and wonder. I am praying for you and I have added your name to my request for prayers from throughout the jewish community. Every synagogue and jewish organization that subscribes to the tefiilla (prayer) request list will add your name to their prayers. Therefore, hundreds of thousands will pray for you every day until I ask them to stop!
Tavia, I am so hopeful for you and can't wait for your next update - one that will tell us that everything is working right!
Best regards and lots of prayers!
Hugs - Robin
Dear Tavia,
I'm glad things went well with the second opinion doctor. That is something to go to a surgeon who has had WLS himself.
I so sorry I couldn't wait yesterday at Dr. Gellman's, I had to get into work, one of those days when I was getting in late and had to leave early. But I will stop in to see you during the week.
I wish you an uneventful surgery. I know that you are in the best hands possible. You, your family and Dr. Gellman are in my prayers.
Talk to you soon.
Love, Laurie
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