Looking for some encouragement

Hey everyone I am new to this. I have just been referred to have bariatric surgery. As much as loosing all this excess weight sounds wonderful I am scarred. I hear all kinds of positive about the surgeries available but not much about the negatives. I went to the doctors yesterday and when they weighed me the scales wouldnt work because they dont go any higher than 300 lbs. (It is one of the floor kinds.) I deal from day to day with depression and other health issues that I know would improve with the surgery yet I still havent sent in my questionaire that the surgeons office sent to me. Any words of encouragment would be appreciated as i feel like I am alone trying to deal with this.

Cora, Welcome hun ~hugs~ The choice to have the surgery needs to come from within, really take the time and read to learn as much as you can before jumping in. It took me a while before I was ready to move forward. Read the profiles and stuff around this site, gets some books to read and just learn as much as you can about the good and the bad. For me it was a great choice, it was something I did for ME! It was the first time I put ME first to make a big change in my life and thank goodness I did. I am down 101 lbs with about 59 more to go to my goal of 125. I feel so much better every day but this is tool you need to work with everyday as well. Sometimes it can get pretty hard but I think the benefits are so worth it. I know I am far from perfect but I try to work on this and in time I will change ALL my bad habbits with the good one that I am learning through this journey. Hun welcome to the rest of your life Please post with any questions, vents or just to say hello...~hugs~ Debra P

Cora, Debra is oh so right. You have to make this decision for you. I know that most of us probably took several months if not years to research all of the pros and cons of this surgery. Personally my journey took about 11 months from beginning to surgery. It was all worth it. I've only been on the losing side for 65 days but have lost about 38 pounds. I've gone from a size 20W to a 16 W and that size is beginning to get big. Also, everyone loses at different rates as you will see once you beginning reading profiles and see what everyone says. Learning how to eat again and eat the right foods seems like it would be difficult, but I for one am not really interested in food anymore and it's almost a chore to eat. I've tried pizza but not so much interested in it nowadays, likewise with a piece of nut brittle and diet chocolate pudding...all things that I would splurge on in the past. Problems can be many as you will also read in the profiles, but good medical support, surgical skills, and follow up support (nutritionist, psychologist, doctors, etc) will work with you. part of your research will include choosing the right medical staff and doctors. Give yourself some time and discuss with trusted and supportive persons. I wish you a positive outcome for whatever you decide. We are here to support you. Just give us a post. Take care and keep us updated on your progress. Linda 231/194/my goal 115

Cora: HELLO & Welcome! I agree you need to know the good, the bad & the ugly of WLS! Is it great, YES, does it have side-effects and drawbacks? SURE> I had a complication of needing another surgery 4 weeks postop, MY BODY produced scarring that shut off my small intestines. (this can happen with any abdominal surgery). I needed a second surgery to remove them, luckily at 3+ yrs I am fine. BUT that was scarey stuff! I welcome you again and RESEARCHIS KEY! This is a sheet I send to many newbies! HUGS! Deciding to have WLS is a major, life-changing event and shouldn't be made on impulse (I am not saying this is you I am saying this for anyone thinking about it!). I recommend anyone be 110% sure this is what you want to do because it is PERMANENT! Things to think about: · How long have you been researching WLS?**Hopefully at least a good 6 months or so****for many it is years! · Do you understand the procedure, I mean really understand the nitty gritty of what they are going to do to your intestinal system! Not just it will help me lose weight but that they are going to cut your stomach in 2,make a small pouch, the old stomach hopefully is transected from pouch by staples and surgically cut in 2! Then the intestines are cut a few feet or so down and rerouted so you lose weight because the tummy is restrictive and bypassing the intestines decreases absorption....Know the risks involved with this!!!***(nutritional/metabolic/physical/psychosocial): ex B12 and vitamin deficiencies/protein deficiency/hernia/adhesions, risk of depression post op related to grief over loss of food and hormonal surge of estrogen/trauma of surgery, marital/relational difficulties/high divorce rate)... · Surgical risks: (not all inclusive.. Bleeding · Complications due to anesthesia and medications · Deep vein thrombosis/clots · Wound Dehiscence · Infections · Pulmonary problems · Spleen injury · Stenosis · Hernia · Depression possibly related to grieving the loss of food, decreased metabolism, and hormonal surges from estrogen being released into the body from rapid wt loss/fat breakdown.... · Gallstones.... · Long-term osteoporosis, vit./mineral deficiencies · hair loss (temporary due to anesthesia, trauma of surgery but will continue if you are protien/vit and mineral deficient!) · Food intolerances (possibly meats, esp. red meat, lactose intolerance, sugar, fats, fried food) · Dumping syndrome (Nausea/vomiting/diarrhea/chestpain/palatations/sweating/tiredness for minutes/hours/days) · EXCESS SKIN....OK my philosophy is you fit in your skin or you don't...Do say you don't want to feel bad after, ask yourself do you feel bad now? If yes are you healthy now as a MO person? Yeah many insurance companies pay for some plastic surgeries if medically necessary it may be a fight, but you can get some of it removed possibly....If though this will deter you I say the chances are great you will have some amount of excess skin, no one knows how much...Age, gender, prior diet/weight changes, pregnancies all affect this and the best chance on has to control this is (although limited) exercise, water and protein....So if this is a huge issue don't have surgery.....Perhaps join : http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ossg-plasticsurgery/ a great site and look at before pictures and after....Excess skin may be by far the most distressing side-effect for people as we already come with altered self-esteem/body image!!! · What type of research have you done? (Internet, in-person support group meetings, talking with others who have had surgery, surgeon consult, surgeon seminar, articles, books?????)***Knowledge is power and is the best tool we have for success and happiness afterwards**** · What are your present support systems? Friends, Family, co-workers.....**Although not 100% necessary if others are on board it sure as heck makes the ride all that much easier!!!*** · What are your current stressors? ***WLS is a time when you need to be as stable as possible, going through a divorce, bankruptcy, death of a close relative, job loss...well WLS may be a good option but pick the optimal time as it is stressful enough if everything is good, when you are going through something extra stressful you are hampering your success possibly and not having the old standby of food to rely on can be HELL!***This is not to say there ever is a right time and things can happen post-op but be kind to yourself and do what's best for you, waiting 3 months may make all the difference in the world! After all this is about forever!!! · What is your nutritional/obesity/diet history?***WLS is not for everyone, it is for the Morbidly obese (BMI above 40 or 35 with major comorbdities such as sleep apnea, Coronary disease, Diabetes....)This should be no ones first attempt at dieting (*I know this is not yours again just general guidelines)...Anyone who says this is the easy way out, KNOWS NOTHING about the surgery or the struggles you will endure and lifestyle changes necessary post-op for success! They are usually ignorant, jealous or both! Again your education and knowledge here goes a long way...Everyone seems to know someone who 'died' or had a 'terrible experience' with WLS...BUT no one seems to have a name or number to call that person!!! It is again based on hearsay alot of the time and their own fears and insecurities...You are doing this for you remember that, it is nice to have support, so educate friends and family, bring them to a support group!!! It can only help! Many programs require wt loss preop...I know many people disagree with this or don't understand why..IMHO I think it is a generally good idea to start instilling dietary, exercise and overall lifestyle changes preop, there is nothing magical about the surgery that makes u wake up and think like a thin person (*I WISH!!!!) So making small changes are helpful pre-op...EXERCISE is one of the biggest keys to success (IMHO again) and anything you can do preop will help you keep up with this and be healthier for surgery!! (and a better surgical risk!)...Start eating smaller portions, it is hard if you go from eating super sized fast food today to clear liquids for 2 weeks (*this is my equivalent of psychological hell/torture!!!) Start slowing down when you eat, put that fork down in-between bites, cut up your food to small pieces, stop drinking and eating at the same time (cant do it or shouldn't postop so start now!) Start taking in 64 ounces of fluid a day if u aren't already, will need to postop! Cut out carbonation, caffeine, sugar, alcohol and chocolate (these are 5 recommended things to avoid postop for many esp. in the first year) again make postop life easier on yourself not harder start ahead!!!!Try on new coping skills for size, they wont miraculously appear postop! Stock the house with clear liquids, crystal lite, diet kool-aid, broth, diet jello etc so u are ready when u get home!!!!Try and avoid the 'last supper syndrome' you will eat most everything again eventually, perhaps in smaller quantities, so don't have a feast each night of things u think u will never have again! · Ask yourself: What is my ability to make lifestyle changes? Be compliant with post-op recommendations??? This is only a tool....(*sorry can't say that enough!).... a. Need to exercise daily for health/wt loss and help with excess skin b. Need to supplement with B12, multivitamin, folate, Iron, Zinc, Calcium citrate, protein shakes possibly give or take things. c. Need for LIFELONG FOLLOW UP!!!! · Know that extended release medications may not be as effective or absorbed well (**esp. birth control pills in woman of childbearing age use alternative form of BC) I could probably ramble on all day about this..I hope some of this helps you! Any specific ? email us or me offline! Take care and good luck it is an awesome journey!! *not perfect and a positive attitude helps! DO this for you and only you!!!!Start journaling now www.obesityhelp.com is a great site, start your own profile there! Also if you haven't seen this document (pouch rules) print and read! A good basic guide to things that will help you use the tool and be successful as possible (*for most of us!!!) http://www.digitalhorsewoman.com/pouchrules.htm Jamie Ellis RN, MS, NPP Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh, Albany, NY 320/163 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery) Plastics 6/9/04 Dr. King, Albany, NY

Everyone seems to know someone who 'died' or had a 'terrible experience' with WLS...BUT no one seems to have a name or number to call that person!!! Ha! They all know me around here and my situation. I always have been open and honest about my experiences and I am not just bitter and angry about them. So know for a fact that most people *****ad this board know one person and that person is moi. I am assuming you are speaking about "someone" who is anti-WLS b/c of a horrible experience they have had.

Tavia; My 'canned speech' is really a generality, maybe sterotype of TYPICAL responses from UNEDUCATED people (not us who are seking wls, the ones who are our freinds/family/sig others or aquaintances*no time for spell check today>Most lay people know VERY little about WLS...The WLS of old did carry more risks and complications w/ not so good results (JI bypass, VBG)...This is not to say RNY or Lapband is not w/o issues, sideeffects, death, complications. BUT not everyone experiences them. Who you will be is unknown. Learnign all u can and making an educated choice weighing the risks is very personal. I think if we all listened to lay people of horror storries that are not based on fact no one would have. Even if based on fact, we still make choices. There are consequences to our choices (surgery and in life). People do get angry that they had this surgery, people can become bitter. I pesonally want and need and think everyone should know good/bad/ugly and what ifs....Because then the road may not be as bad (perhaps). I can not know possibly how you feel, I do not live your life and I did not experience your journey. I appreciate the attention you brought me to my wording, In the future I will try to frame differently. Likely however I word, they are just that my words, and I guess I am bound to be wrong at times, and am bound to offend at others, even if not intentional as this surely was not... http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/OSSG-gone_wrong/ http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/WLS_uncensored/ both groups lay it all out good and bad! Jamie

Cora, First of all you have come to the right place to find encouragement and also to do research . This site and the members of it are awesome ! This site is a wealth of info and everyone will have some sort of help to give you .Any questions you have are more than welcome here and will be answered to the best of each individuals knowledge. Be sure and visit every area of this site as you will find alot of info on researching WLS. I have not had my surgery yet but will be in April but as everyone who have already replied to you said , You must research, research and more research and once you feel that you have gotten all the facts and you are comfortable with what you have learned then only then you can make your decision. I did ! So have many, many others ! This is for you and only you and don't ever forget that . Visit sites that not only give good facts on WLS but also the sites that give the negative facts . Just be sure that what you are learning is true and not just hear say ! There is alot of that ! There are both good and bad that goes with this surgery but looking at the overall picture , there is more good than bad ! Just be patient with yourself and learn, learn and learn some more before making your decision . It is your life after all ! I hope that you visit us often . Take Care ! and Carol

EArly on, I browsed through Amazon and bought books (usually used) about the surgery. Then I found this website and read tons of profiles. It really gave me a first hand look at what people went through. It is a decision only you can make, but educating yourself as much as possible first will really help you make that decision. I think that the nurse who posted on this offered some very valuable information, as well. As far as seeing the surgeon, just by filling out the paperwork and going to an info session or whatever is not going to obligate you. You can start some of these things without making a decision. Once you've talked to them you may have a better idea, too. Its normal to have these concerns. If we didn't we'd be going into this blindly. You will do great... just take one step at a time and one piece of info at a time. Good luck.