Hi Everyone...I'm new here

Hello, my name is Laura. I'm 22 years old, and I've finally accepted the fact that I NEED to do something about my weight. All through high school I stayed about 165-175lbs and I'm 5'7". Once I graduated, being 18 years old I felt I knew everything...that lead to my getting kicked out of the house and having a very strained relationship with my father/stepmother/brother. I had a brother pass away and also an aunt. Life was very hard for me...I believe that the depression from those hard times helped contribute to the 100+ lbs that I've put on. I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 years and just a month ago he finally confided that my weight bothers him. This hurt me. I've been listening to crap from people my whole life, but I never expected to hear it from the man that I love. I need to lose weight, I have to lose weight. I'm currently at 298lbs with a BMI of 46.6. I do not want to develop any serious health problems, I want to be healthy. I am seriously considering surgery, and have begun to research it on the internet, which lead me here. My health insurance is actually through the health insurance company that I work for...which is making this tough b/c I'm embarassed that people will see my claims and letters coming into the office and will know that I needed surgery to lose the weight. I am afraid people will feel that I am "taking the coward's way out" by having the surgery. I don't see it that way. When you have a hurt knee, you have surgery to feel better. That is how I feel about WLS, its a way to help my physical condition, not a way to make me "hot" or "sexy". I could care less about that! I know I'm attractive...I've just got some extra fat flubbering around my middle...and legs...and arms...lol. I feel that I have a very good attitude going into this. I'm trying not to get my heart set on it, in case my insurance denies it, or my PCP (when I finally get one...) will not agree that I need it. I think that 298lbs and a 46.6 BMI would qualify me...but I do not have any other health problems related to the weight. My last GYN visit led the doctor to tell me to "keep an eye" on my blood pressure. Diabetes run in my family, as does asthma. I want to get married and I want to have many children...I cannot be the mother that I want to be when I nearly tip the scales at 300lbs! I want to be around for many many many more years...I don't want my inability to discipline myself from overeating and not exercising to kill me too soon. Please, help me help myself. *Laura*

LAURA welcome to the NEW YORK FORUM! (((HUG)))) for all you have gone thru. AND im sorry BF feels this way about your weight. MAYBE some time later in your journey you will think thru that relationship but anyway..... DONT be worried about a few people at the office seeing you want the weight loss surgery. THERE is nothing to be embarassed by for wanting to GET HEALTHY! And by no means is surgery an easy way out. ITS a very tough journey. IT is only a tool and will require alot of work on your part. CONTINUE to keep positive and take things one step at a time! GOOD LUCK! keep us informed lisa 310/190/???

Welcome, from one Laura to another. Be patient with this process, it can be frustrating, discouraging and even physically and emotionally painful. But I can say with a clear head and a healthy body, that 8 months after surgery, it is hands down, the best thing I've ever done for myself. It wasn't an easy decision to make and it was a long process from the initial visit to the surgery date. And this surgery isn't for everyone. Get a PCP and discuss your health issues. DO RESEARCH; I did two years of research before I booked a surgery date. Learn everything you can. Go to support group meetings and listen to the stories of others. Ask questions, read medical literature. Then make your decision. You're the one who has to live with it. Don't do it for anyone else but yourself. Email me if you want. Again, welcome and happy holidays, L*

laura, I am sorry that you have been going through so much. I am pre-op but I am sure that haveing wls isnt the easy way out. My sister had it 3 years ago and she had to re learn how to eat drink chew although I havent been through it but I have witness it. As far as your job knowing when they see you sliming down at such a fast rate they'll either think your sick or had wls, either way people will talk and the bold ones will ask questions. Now as for your boyfriend goes dont make the decission on haveing wls based on how he feels about your weight. He should love you fat skinny what ever. I know its easier said then done and 4 years is hard to walk away from if you ever wanna talk e-mail me I wish you the best of luck Daria