JOKE>>>>>>>>>>>>

Gail Di Bernardo/Metro/DOH 11/18/2005 03:07 PM cc Subject Fw: funny ----- Forwarded by Gail Di Bernardo/Metro/DOH on 11/18/2005 03:03 PM ----- Gail Di Bernardo/Metro/DOH 11/18/2005 03:04 PM To Joan Dantzler/Metro/DOH cc Subject funny A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 year old son playing with his new electronic train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying "All of you sons of *****es who want off, get the hell off now... cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of *****es who are getting on, get your asses on the train.... cause we are going down the tracks. The horrified mother went in and told her son. "we don't use that kind of language in this house, now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for 2 HOURS. When you come out you may play with your train.. but I want you to use nice language. 2 Hours later the boy came out of his bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say "All passengers please remember your things, thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon" She heard her little darling continue... "for those you just boarding, remember this is a no smoking train. We hope you have a relaxing and pleasant journey with us today. As the mother began to smile, the child added, "for those of you who are pissed off about the 2 HOUR DELAY, please see the ***** in the kitchen

heehee...that was great!

HERE's some more I got at work at today There was a middle-age couple that had two stunningly beautiful teen-age daughters. The couple decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife became pregnant and, sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to find the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and said that there was no way that he could be the father of the child. "Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered," he cried. Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?" The wife smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time." ----------------------- A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said. "Stand in the corner!" She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue." "What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us, too." No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around 2 a.m., the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk. Here," he said to the statue, "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths' for three days, and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water." ----------------------- A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bartender and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir," replies the bartender. "That'll be 1 cent." "ONE CENT!" exclaims the customer. The barman replies, "Yes." So the guy glances over the menu and asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak with chips, peas and a fried egg?" "Certainly, sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real money." "How much money?" inquires the guy. "Four cents," the bartender replies. "FOUR cents!" exclaims the guy. "Where's the guy who owns this place?" The bartender replies, "Upstairs with my wife." The guy asks, "What's he doing with your wife?" The bartender replies, "Same as I'm doing to his business."

Gail, Loved the joke! I,m still smiling Darlene