I need to vent...

I'm generally a pretty upbeat person and I know not everyone can remain as optimistic as I do, but someone on the Oct. boards wrote that she felt depressed and seeing that other people feel great makes her feel worse... well of course she had my sympathy and I wrote her a nice post, but this other woman who also had her surgery in Oct. wrote that anyone who says they feel great is full of crap. I found that so offensive. I am one week post op and I feel great because I'm so happy that I had what I consider to be this LIFE SAVING operation and in my opinion any discomfort I have will have been worth it. So I try hard to present a positive outlook no matter what and the truth is, I have had no pain from the LAP procedure and the minor discomforts that I have had are not been enough to bring me down when I look at the overall picture. I think it sucks that people would want to knock the rest of us for not being miserable and pessimistic... anyway I had to come here to vent because I didn't want to start a flaming session on the boards there. Thanks for listening!! Vi

ITS very hard...glad you vented!!!! I know personally and i am 4 months out i am in a depression which is a normal side effect of the surgery around the point I am. So i can for sure feel for the person that posted the original thread. AS for that person to reply back that anyone feeling great is full of crap...well i think she is experiencing the difficult time of looseing her best friend food, or perhaps her surgery hadnt gone uncomplicated. ITs not an easy way out but with a positive attitude we can SOAR! BUT i know all in all im getting healthy each day. SURE the hair loss issue is hard. I also dont visually see the weight loss, i still see me fat but in all with all the things im experiencing i would do the surgery again tomorrow if i had to do it again. (((HUG)))) and im glad your feeling well and i know my little blue period is only temporary!!!! We all go thru different things after the surgery. We all had different attachments to foods so we all cope differently HANG IN THERE and you keep that upbeat way because this tool is the best thing for all of us. LISA

Thanks Lisa, you make me feel so much better! I have my blue periods too, but I also have a friend who had it 2 years ago who talks to me daily and continually reassures me, so maybe that has been an advantage... sort of like my own daily therapy where I can get it all out and keep going! So other people don't get to see that down side of me so much and I can definitely understand why someone who is feeling down would feel put off by me seeming so "upbeat" all the time... But I know there may be times when it gets harder too and I know that hearing from people like you will help me through those times. Thanks for your support, Hugs, Vi

Hi, I am not sure who exactly you are talking about but it sounds like maybe she had some form of complications(major or minor) with her surgery to be giving herself this out look. You know what? All really anyone can do who is having "issues" is just try to stay positive. People like myself and probably this person have been through the good(not really), the bad, and the ugly of this surgery. Most do not have experiences like that who are alive to talk about it. People who didnt have any problems are coming from a certain point and we are coming from a certain point. I can understand you waking up every day and re-thinking yourself for making this decision to have this surgery or being depressed. Every day from day one to about three months I thought "what did I do to myself and family?" I hated anything gastric bypass and didnt want to hear about. But you know what? Slowly but surely it gets better and I have gotten better. Maybe time is just what this person needs. Mind you, that doesnt take away the fact of what happened to me but I have learned to accept that was my experience and have tried to turn it into a positive thing. I feel I have become a form of "poster child" for complications for WLS. I have had pretty much every form of complication one can have (expect an ulcer) I talked to people all the time about my complications(in person and online) and most are very thankful to hear it from a real person then reading about complications than a piece of paper. They say it definitely makes it more "real". I say it how it was for me and I do not blame anyone for my complications, or bash WLS. It's all about find inner peace w/what happened, turning it into a positive think like helping others understand complications and moving on. I know that is easier said than done but sometimes one just needs time and support to realize this. Tavia

Wow Tavia, I read your profile and it definitely sounds like you have been through a lot. I commend you for being so strong and being such a positive and cheerful person. I really believe that the mind has a powerful influence on our over all well being and I'm happy that you have turned your experiences around. I'm also happy to hear that you are starting to feel better and I pray that continues for you! Thanks for your support and your input. HUGS, Vi

Violet, Hello hun ~hugs~ Yes this is the place to vent... I know how the depressed women feels since I have been through my share and now that it is normal, I always try to stay positive because if I don't then IT wins....and with this surgery I AM THE WINNER! That is so bad that someone can tell others how they should feel. I mean I went through a rough time with the head hunger, what did I do and still with the big change in my life but overall it is to save my life. Now my cuz did not go through any of this and she was very excited from surgery forward about just being able to have the surgery. Both are feeling and because we are different we experience different things. Hun people just love to judge so let it go as ignorance but you did the right thing and vented. ~hugs~ Take care Debra P

Aww, thanks so much for your kind words Debra, I can't tell you how much it means to me to have your support and the opportunity to "let it all out" here. I feel such a bond with everyone who has had WLS and I'm the type of person *****ally wants to help other's so I guess it kind of hurt me to hear her negativity, but you are right, and I will let it go as ignorance and hope that eventually she will feel better so that she can start feeling good about herself and not look to hurt other's... BIG HUGS, VI P.S. I'm on my way to the craft store today to see if I can find a new hobby to keep me from being bored or thinking about food! I'm thinking from all the great suggestions I have gotten to try beading... maybe I can start making Christmas gifts for some of my friends! Wish me luck, I never was the craft type, but maybe this will be a new start for me!

Everyone recieves pain in different ways. There is not one person who is going to feel the same way as another. We all have out own threshold for pain. It is not right of anyone to compare their feelings to anyone elses, just like you should not compare your weight loss to any others. We all have different bodies, we will all take pain differently. People just dont think when they make comments. Being a registered nurse i can tell you i have seen that one thing that does help alot is that positive attitude. Dont let anyone bring you down. Misery loves company and sometimes people just have negative attitudes and i actually feel sorry for those people. Keep being positive and looking forward, You are doing great! I cant wait till monday to join you!!!

Thanks Lisa, you have been so wonderful and so supportive to me and that means so much to me! I agree on the positive attitude and on misery loving company! I am sooooo excited for you that your day is this Monday!! I will be praying for you. Please let us know as soon as you get home how you are doing and if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm always here for you!! HUGS, Vi

Thanks Violet that means alot and it goes for you too, ever need to talk im here! Well i wont be here monday and tues but maybe after wed lol.....