I'm 2 Days Away

Hi all, I can't believe it -- I'm two days away. I've been nervous yesterday and today -- and I don't think it's because of the surgery as much as it is a grieving for the changes that are about to take place -- the way I've always dealt with life and coped will be taken away and will have to be replaced -- so I'm grieving the loss -- but I'm looking forward to my new life -- just very emotional -- my 4 year old son has been throwing tantrums again and being very difficult and trying to manipulate us and trying to give us ultimatums--and it's just adding to the emotions -- I need to work on myself, and can't really handle this right now. I feel so overwhelmed with all the changes I'll be making and doing all positive things for myself and putting myself 1st -- which I'm not used to doing -- and then I have this 4 year old -- making it more difficult. I know all will work out -- and I have to focus on me for a change. Thanks for letting me vent -- wish me luck and say a few prayer as I will for all of you. I'll be seeing you on the losing side. Love Debbie

Best of Luck to you, Debbie!!! Dont grieve too much for what you are going to "lose" but what you are going to gain by having this life saving surgery!! I have more energy than I have ever had. I can go all day and not get tired, I walk and don't have the pains in my back of my knees anymore!! I an a NEW person!! See you on the losers side!! Lisa 371/341/211/140

Dear Lisa -- thanks so much for your support -- it is good to know there are other rooting for you -- and you're right -- I will be gaining so much more -- thanks so much -- I'll see you on the losing side. Love Debbie

deb i am here on the other side rooting for you .... and if i dont tallk to you you will be in my prayers..... if you need anything please do not hesitate to call or email...... Stacy 232/137

Dear Stacey -- thanks so much for your support -- I hope to chat with you before Monday -- but if I don't I will chat with you when I'm home -- thanks so much for your prayers and I look forward to meeting you soon when I'm on the losing side. Love Debbie

I can relate to all of your feelings. I am not afraid of the surgery so much as i am afraid of what comes after. I think that fear comes from all the failed attempts in the past. I also have little ones, i have 4 of them ages 13,10, 3 and 2. So i have never put myself first either. I have a teenager a terrible two and everything in between lol. Children can feel your stress and that is why he is prob giving you a run for the money, He dosent know what is happening he just knows something is and that brings out his energy. Just remember we are doing this for ourselves but we are also doing it for the ones we love so we have many more years to enjoy them! I will say a prayer for you that your surgery is successful and your recovery is smooth and quick........Good luck. If you ever need to vent always feel free to email me!

Dear Lisa Marie -- thanks so much for your reply -- I hadn't thought that he was acting out because of what I may expressing. I guess I was being a little selfish and only thinking of my feelings. I know that this is all good for me and you're right -- we are doing this so we will have more energy and life to give to the ones we love the most. I wish you the best also -- you have your hands full too with 4 at all the ages -- Good luck and I'll chat with you on the losing side. Thanks for your support. Love Debbie

Debbie, I know how you are feeling with the feelings right now, I went through that right before and for about 4 weeks after my surgery. I was in a depression but knowing it is normal sure helped me out before hand. Know that it will get better every day. I am 4 1/2 months out and still dealing with the emotions of not being able to overeat and that will be something I will need to work on for a while I am sure but also look at what you are going to be getting!!!! WOW what a change in your life this will be, for the good. You are taking steps and putting yourself first this time and that is OK.....think about our son, you will be around and able to play with him and not be in pain or tired all the time. LisaMarie is right about your son knows you are stressed about something and he is acting out. Maybe spend some extra time with him so he feels more relaxed about this, you really can not explain what is happening because he would not understand totaly but just to talk to him. I wish you all the best hun and may your surgery go smoothly and your recovery quick... Debra P

Dear Debbie -- thanks so much for your reply -- you are always so good about supporting everyone and I really appreciate. It's good to know, as you said, that we are not the only ones experiencing these feelings -- it's overwhelming, but I know only good will come of it -- change is always stressful. You're right -- I hadn't thought that my son was acting out because of my feelings that he is probably experiencing too.. and you're right he doesn't understand -- I now can see it a little differently and have more empathy -- I was so into myself and what I'm feeling. Thanks for all the support -- we all need each other and I appreciate all your prayers and help. Love Debbie

Well, I am two years from having my surgery and you are right thinking that your life is about to change -- but so much of the change will be awesome in a positive way. You will be able to do things you have only dreamed about! I have so much more energy and do so many more things. Life is for living --- ENJOY!!! GO FOR IT! I will say a prayer for you -- good luck! Ellie