realizing how addicted I am to food

hi everyone... I have been fighting the cravings and urges to binge. I'm realizing just how addicted I am to food. I was severely abused as a child and I have hidden alot of the pain and emotions deep inside. I started binging years ago. I went to my counselor today and when I left there I went to buy binge food that I'm not suppose to have. There is so much inside to deal with. I eat to hide my emotions and to deal with pain. I am very serious about wanting the surgery. I know this is the way for me. I guess if I could control the binging I wouldn't need the surgery huh. I have got to find a healthier way to deal with my pain. I talked to my counselor about the surgery and he feels it is a really good idea. I think it is too. As I am right now, I am at risk for alot more physical problems as the years go by. I am looking forward to being a loser. debby

Debby, I feel you! I also suffered some bad childhood experiences that I'm convinced led me to food. Food doesn't fight with you, doesn't hurt you (like we've been hurt) and doesn't reject you. I always went to food for comfort. Food was my security blanket. Even now, being 5 weeks out from surgery - I think about what I'm not eating anymore and how that makes me feel. Sometimes I get sad, but on the whole - I actually feel better that I have this tool helping me sort of my emotional problems without burying them in junk food. See your counselor and sort it out. Good luck in your journey!!!

Thank you for your post, sorry it took so long to answer. I have always gone to food for comfort too. You are right, it never rejects me, it never yells or hurts me. There is alot of emotions problems to work through. I will continue seeing my counselor to work through all that. debby

Debby, Hun that story sounds like most on the board. We all have some form of addiction to food, mine was a love affair. It will take a while to work this through and it really is a great idea to be in counseling until you have worked through this. I know for me the depression was so upsetting and I needed time to work through it. **Thank GOD that I have read about this before I even went through this so I knew it was normal, which does not make it easier but I knew I was not going crazy! ** Hun it will not be easy those days right after surgery, and even before but it does get better, really it does so remember that so you can notice it, if it happens. ~hugs~ Take care Debra P 285/213/125??

Debra P, Thank you for the encouragement. I guess I never realized how I use food to comfort and mask the emotional problems until I started thinking about having the surgery. And also thinking about what I can't have after surgery. I'm looking forward to becoming a loser and I will stay in counseling to deal with the emotional problems. Just 3 more weeks till I go for consult... yayy. debby

Sounds like alot of the stories here.....and it is what has brought us together.....just know you are not alone....and if you feel you have to eat cause of something going on you can always come to the board.....we will be here for you..... I'm glad you are getting counseling,...most people think they can do it alone and the truth is they can't.....you are headed in the right directions.... Some of us needed to have WLS to get our eating habit on track.....so don't think that if you stop bingeing you would not be looking into WLS.....it's not just bingeing... Christine 346/231/?

Thank you Christine, Yea, counseling helps me to deal with alot of what happened to me as a child. It is not easy though. I have masked the emotions for a very long time now. But it is time to take the mask off. I think that I do need the surgery to get my eating habits on track. I can't seem to do it myself. I know the people on this board have been there too and I thank you all for being supportive. debby

Sending hugs... Let me tell you about my WOW moment from last weekend. I was tired, upset, cranky, on the verge of a full panic attack and really annoyed with my husband. And I was going into my cabinets and my fridge looking for something to "comfort" me. Ans I had to keep saying to myself, "You're upset, not hungry." And that's the 1st time after years of food addiction, yo-yo dieting and binging where I was able to recognize what was happening, when it was happening and before I did any crazy emotional and physical damage to myself. I'm not saying it's an easy journey, I personally have never been on a harder one, but it's a worthwhile one. I feel my health returning, wearing smaller clothes bring me happiness and seeing my therapist helps also. Keep taking care of you, it's wonderful that you're seeing a counselor. He/she will help you to recognize triggers and responses and one day, when you least expect it, it will all come together and you'll realize that we need to eat to live, not live to eat. And come to this board. I don't post all the time, but I read and it's as good, if not better, than a support group... L*