HIV/AIDS COMMENTS...LAST STRAW!!!

I need to get this off my chest. I just got out of the bathroom from crying and figured someone on here might understand. Since I've been losing weight my immediate family (mom, dad, brother) whom I live with, have been throwing HIV/AIDS comments at me left and right. As the weight was coming off my mom's concern was not whether I was getting in my protein, vitamins or how I was progressing but that I needed to stop losing weight because "the neighbors" are going to think that I have the disease. Oh, and I better not cough, blow my nose or something of that nature around my 21 year old brother because what do I get...a weird look on his face followed by the words "You AIDS patient". As for my dad, all he says is "you look sick, why do you look sick?" Which, I don't at all!!! Not according to all the people that have seen me and told me I look great. This morning was the last straw for me. I told my mom that I'm going to stop going to my usual hairdresser and switch to another because I'm no longer comfortable with her. Of course my mom asks why and my response is "She's been acting different these past few months" My guess is that since she has had two new workers there that I refuse to let touch my hair and only want and will wait for my hairdresser, she (my hairdresser) doesn't like that. My mom's response was "Maybe she's been seeing you lose all this weight and thinks you're sick and have AIDS or something and that's why she acting weird". I just turned, walked away and went into the bathroom and cried!!! I am SO sick of the comments. Not to mention my mom's sister does have AIDS, which she contracted from her now deceased husband but even that doesn't stop the comments. My mom actually said to me the other day..."Don't lose anymore weight, you're starting to look like your aunt". Could you believe that!!! Meanwhile, I've hit a plateau and I'm still in the process of reaching my goal of 135lbs. At 150lbs right now. I just needed to vent, maybe even get some words of encouragement. Thanks and hope everyone has a good day....

Hi Candie, Sadly we don't get to pick our family. Listen, they are NOT thinking about your feelings so now you must take control of what has turned into a VERY uncomfortable and negative environment. First gather your strength and then your mom, dad and brother and tell them how their negative comments are effecting you. Compose yourself, don't yell scream, point fingers or continually bring up "you said this on this day" although you want to be specific and give examples of each of their negative behavior (an example of each is fine.) Tell, them that you need their love and support and you are not going to settle for LESS!!! Hopefully you'd begin to see a change in their behavior. I wish you strength, peace and happiness. Also, always remember that you have support on this site. Peace and Blessings. Marcy PS. Perhaps it was time to get a new hair dresser. Good luck on your search.

Hey Candie, Im sorry you are having such a problem with your family. Its amazing sometimes how the ones we love are the ones who hurt us the most. Remember Candie this is not about them its about you. You did this for Candie not your family. Perhaps a little seperation from them may be an option. Let let it bring you down you are doing great. Louis

I think they are jealouse because you look so good. When heavy people lose weight others still see them as when they were heavy. If someone was to meet you today for the first time I bet they would say you look Normal. If you could I would put them straight. Tell you family how it hurts your feelings and about all the hard work it took you to get to this stage and if things do not change I would look into moving out. Who cares what other people think. My heart goes out to you. Hugs. Chris

Candie, Hun I am sorry that you having to deal with this issue, this should be a great time for you. ~Hugs~ I agree with Marcy, you need to talk to them and set some expectations. You are a strong person and making big changes in your life, you do need the negative comments! This is for YOU and YOU only hun. I am not sure if they are jealous of your new found self or if the issue goes deeper but you do have to take control of this so it does not ruin what you worked so hard to do, making a better and healthier YOU! Hun my thoughts and prayers go out to you and please keep us posted. Also know that you can come here and vent ANYTIME you need to. ~hugs~ Take care Debra P 285/240.5/125??

I can't even say the things I'm thinking. I think maybe it's time for you to move out and be on your own. I stayed at home alot longer than I should have and let me tell you, getting out of there was the best thing I ever did. Joanne

Hi Candie: I'm really sorry that you are having to deal with such negative and cruel comments from people-in particular your own family. I know that must be really hard to deal with because whenever I've lost weight in the past, my mom would say, "Oh, you're losing too much weight!" Or she would make my favorite food like fried chicken, corn bread, macaroni and cheese, knowing that my will power was "ziltch" and I would pig out like someone out of control. I know that we're all different and handle situations differently, but I would just have to put my foot down and tell them to cut the crap. You have set attainable goals for yourself and that's nobody's business but your own. I am so proud and motivated to hear that you are only a few pounds away from reaching your goal. People who have not had to deal with the things that we have had to because of our weight have no idea what this whole process means to us. To finally have the tools to get us to our goals is such a blessing! Don't let anyone rain on your parade. I'm very proud of you and your accomplishments and YOU should be proud of yourself too! Best wishes to you and I hope that you will know that YOU LOOK GREAT, so don't even worry about the ignorance of others. Take care Karen

As the mother of a son who is now 36 years old and has been HIV positive since he was 18, let me say this about that. They have NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL they are talking about. My son has been the exact same weight all these years AND he has maintained his excellent health as well. And you just need to stop listening to them. You have SAVED your life and you are doing marvelously. You live for YOURSELF ~ and love that you can! just leaves a big hug for you!

Just got back from the gym and doing my 1 1/2 hour workout. Not only did that make me feel so much better, but when I came home and read everyone's responses it really, really lifted my spirits even higher. Three things I definitely agree on: 1) at 26, I need to move! 2) I love the new, thinner me and have no complaints about me and had WLS for me 3) I do need to address this issue with my family once and for all. The way I see it...I could move, be absolutely happy with me, but I am still human and they are still my family. Sitting them down, telling them how I feel and putting it out there is something I now realize I need to do. Heck while I'm at it, I should educate them on HIV/AIDS too. This way, if the insults keep up and they get to me, I can express that right in front of them and no longer have to go cry in the bathroom. People can't fix something if they don't know it's broken, right? Thanks so much for all of your words of encouragement! I needed that...