Happy ReBirthday to MEEEEE (long!!!)

Hello NYers !! I wanted to share my one year story with all of my friends here at AMOS. I know this past year would not have been possiable without this GREAT GREAT GREAT source of encouragement, support and love I get here on a daily bases. Christine, you are one hellva woman !! You have become a touchstone to me, many days I know I could not have made it through without the support you have given me, the days I really did not know if I could smile you brough a smile to my face, many days when I had a few tears, you dry um away....and mannnny days you share a laugh with me, and again brough tears to my eyes. You are a wonderful person and very very special friend. I love and Thank you for EVERYTHING you have given me this past year, your friendship you give on a daily bases moves me beyond words. Eve !! My woman !! You too have been a rock to me, always making me laugh, on those sameeee days I didnt think I could......always being the mom, even though you knew I had one...LOL Always making me call that DR even when I didnt think I had to.....Thanks for your friendship as well.....Ohhh and thanks for allll those little Yahoo " I know your there I can see you" messages !! Bought manyy laughs my way !! Alice, my unoffical angel, but the woman who brought me to this board. I misssssss you !! missssss you misssss you. I dont have to tell you what you have brought to my life. Your a wonderful woman, and I praise the lord he sent you to me. Love You Much Alice !! I could name sooo many names here, people who have walked this 1st year with me......too many to list, you would all get bored and not read this entire post !! Just know you all have touched my heart in one way ot another, and without each of you......each of your stories or each of your struggles, I have learned soooooooo much !! This past year, like many of you, heck all of you, my life have had sooooo many drastic changes. Soo many things of the heart and the head. I knewwww the body would change, and that it did !! I never knew my mind and my heart would change soooo much. When I began my journey, I never wanted to lose touch of who I was.....I loved that part of me. I wanted to remain who I was, just change the shell of that woman. I now can say a year later, thats impossible to do.....Ya see, there is this smile you never knew was missing, that comes to your face, there this feeling inside of being proud of who you are, there many things you have to tackle from the inside, that sadly enough, made you fat in the 1st place ( or at least for me). The struggles I have are not at all with food.....I have learned that you NEED food to live.....you HAVE to eat, even if you dont want to. I make HEALTHY choices and at the end of the day, when I review what I have eaten, I take pride in the fact I ate well. I have had a few struggles with food, some I cant eat, some I eat and I knowww I shouldnt have. For overall, the food process has been an easy thing for me. Some days I have to remind myself to eat.......when before somedays I had to remind myself to STOPPPP For every single pre op or newbie....I remember well the struggles, the thoughts of, "when does this get easier??!!??" Trust me my friends....it doesss get easier. Hang tight ! My struggles are struggles of the heart. Im a 37 year old woman, who has never been married, never really been in love, If it was love, I can assure you it was one sided...... it was me loving him "perfectly", him hoping none of his friends saw him come into my house late at night....LOL Sad BUT True Even though my heart was good......IS good, I never found the special man to share that part of me with, sadly enough, most of them look at the shell of the person. I was looking for the man who wouldnt. I now have become this woman men check out...this woman that men walk to my car and tell me how HOT I look, and ask me out. I am this woman who has doors opened for them...and know they are checking ur butt out as U walk behind them ( ITS TRUE CHRISTINE !! ) and yet......I am still searching for that man who would have loved me at 400 lbs. I know not all men are the men from my past, and I know that not all men knew me before, there for, can I judge them on those basis?? These are the things I struggle with. Im the same woman inside....the BEST PART of the woman !! The best part of a person, yet, they didnt love me before ??? Soo Why love me now ??!!?? I think Ill stay single !!! I have not dated ANYONE ....and I am OK with that....Parts of it I miss Huh Christine ?? !!?? LOL OKKKKK Sooooo Numbers !! I have lost over 220 lbs in ONE FREAKIN YEAR !!!! I have gone from a size 34/36 to a size 16ish.....sometimes 18 at at timessss 15 !! I see those numbers and I almost faint....People will ask "How Much Bren?? " I tell them and there eyes get big and almost ALWAYSSSSs say...."You lost a whole person Brenda" I have !!! I want to cry, when my neice will look at me and say "Auntie Babes, you have lost MOREEE havent you" It melts me to know that a 13 knew my sadness and struggles and can simple reward you without even knowing shes doing it.I see my pops just look at me sometimes....study me....and my mom too, I always wonder whats running through there heads....They brag to their friends and tell them all how proud they are of me.....again, it melts me to know I have made them sooo proud. My family and friends have been THE reason I have done soo well.....I have had an AMAZING Cheerleading Squad. I love them soooooo much !! I think about how I cant hardly lift a 40 lb bag of cat liter and then think How did I carry alll that weight around on my bones ?? How healthy was that !!! ?? !! My body feels AMAZINGGGGG.....I dont hurt, dont ache, I see bones I NEVERRRR knew I had !! I have freakin knees !!! I neverrrrrr have seen those babies !! and, they are sexy knees damnit !! LOL I really doo love the woman I have turned into. I can get dressed in the morning, step back. look and sometimes wonder "Who the hell is that woman" I can pass by a window in a store....see my image and just look in amazement and wonder is that REALLYYYYY ME ???? YESSSs it is !!! It IS Me !! Its Brenda...and though my nick here is "Simply Bren"....there is not one single thing that is Simple about me !! There is not one thing that has been Simple about this past year....and there will not be one thing that will be Simple about the rest of my life...........and will be a longer life now that I am living a HEALTHIER ONE !! Alice, if your reading this......You told me, "Buckle your seat belt, your in for one heck of a ride !!" You were sooooooooo right !! BUT ~ I am sooooo enjoying it !! Soo there you have it......My ONE Year ReBirthday Post.....I am sureee I could have gone on and on........BUT, I actually WANT you all to do something today !! I will share though, threw this post, I have laughed.....cried.....and smiled. Everyday is a new day, and I am looking forward tooo sooooooo many more new ones !! Stay Healthy and Happy Everyone.....and Thanks Soo Much for sharing my Special Day with me. I Love You All ! Brenny !! OHHH and I will post one year pics after next weekend when Christine, Eve and the WHOLE Gang comes to Upper NY !! WOO HOO......can you seee Im excited !! I wish you ALL could be here with us !!

Brenny, Hun thanks for sharing your story with us..... ~hugs~ Congrats on all that you have done, what a story! Take care Debra P

Debra Thanks for taking time today to share my day with me. I wish you the best as your journey continues. How you feeling anyways?? Love 2 Ya Brenny

Brenda: Wow, you are super! What a special lady you are, and you should be so proud of the butterfly you've become. Truly an inspiration Eileen

Eileen Thanks soooo much for your kind words. A butterfly....Thats nice Thanks for sending me your thoughts today and spending my happy day with me. Love 2 U Brenny

HAPPY REBIRTHDAY!! Your story is GREAT!! I hope one day I can be where you are.

Thanks Andrea and I am sureeee you will be....need anything give me a yell. Thanks for the words Love2U Brenny

Brenny !! CONGRATULATIONS..THAT IS SOME PROFILE !! Get down with yer Bad Self Girlfriend!! U are HOTT I just wanted to say I read your lil Bio, and what a story..You have truly accomplished a lot with your tool, and keep it going!! I just wanted to tell you, you are and always will be a 'Babe', no matter what you wear, or what your size, becuz you shine from the inside out, AND Never forget that..I am single also, and looking for what's been missing in my life- NO that isn't my motivation for the surgery- But I do acknowledge how you feel - many women on this board are already married..so I understand..but do not imprison yourself with worries..and do not allow your prejudice from past experiences..prevent you from enjoying new ones..do not allow old hurt keep you from revealing your loving nature, when love presents itself..you will grow from change, as we all evolve, and God is the pathmaker..He makes all your achievements possible and when you are ready, He will reveal all to you..You are blessed and thank you for sharing your birthday with us.. Hugs and another year of abundant blessings! Donna P.S. U GO GIRL!!

Donna Thanks for all the nice thing you said......I cant tell you enough how much support you get here from all these fantastic people. As your journey starts, I wish you the best. If your in need of anything, or just want an ear.....Come and find me !! Ill be keeping tabs on you !!! Love 2 U and Thanks Sooo Much !! Brenny

Happy ReBirthday to YOU!! Brenny Congratulations to you on your 1 year ReBirthday. You have done fantastic and I only pray that I can do half as well. I just finished reading this post and it is so wonderful that it brought tears to my eyes. You are one helluva woman and any man who did not see you for who you truly are is blind. Do not close your heart to a possible love in the future. You never know what God has in His plans for you. Yes, I am married to a wonderful man I met when I was 15 years old and I weighed 130 pounds. We went together for 3 years during which I gained over 70 pounds, and have been married for 40 years. After having 4 children over 10 years, he watched me gain, lose and gain more, but his love never wavered even though I reached a weight of 348 pounds. Whether you know it or not, YOU also are a source of support and encouragement to everyone on this board. Thank you for being YOU. Thank you for all of the support and encouragement you have given me personally. You have a right to be proud of yourself as does your family. Enjoy your new body and the attention. You have surely earned all the rewards you reap. God has Blessed you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. :angels: {{{{{HUGS}}}}} Brenda