It's finally here!!!!

Good morning, Everyone I can't believe it -- my surgery is tomorrow.. it's finally going to happen. What the heck have I gotten myself into??? On most levels I know this is the right thing to do and I'm excited about seeing the results, but there are parts of my brain that are screaming at me that I must be crazy... that I couldn't have gotten so big that I had to go under the knife to lose weight; I mean that is just ludicrous! In the past 18 yrs I have had approximately 20 surgeries and I don't think at any time did I ever worry that I wouldn't wake up, that I might die from it. But this surgery has got me spooked and I don't know why. I've read success story after success story, have browsed the Before/After pictures every night with my daughter and am amazed at how incredible everyone looks, and can clearly remember my doctor telling me that the death rate was only 1%. So why am I so freaked out? I also wonder if I'm going to be able to give up my one true addiction -- cake. I don't eat it all the time.. more like a piece 1-2x a month, but it is my favorite dessert, my craving if I just "have to have" a sweet... will this surgery (and fear of dumping) curb that craving? I don't want to have this surgery and be a failure -- my God, how terrible would that be?? I mean where else do you turn if you have failed after having your plumbing rewired?? A short break in my rantings -- a grasshopper got in the house somehow and my big fearless Doberman (all 85 lbs of him) jumps back about 2 feet every time the bug moves and my curious kitty about jumped out of her fur when the grasshopper landed on her foot!! Oh Lord, if they don't stop soon I'm gonna pee my pants from laughing so hard! Anyway, getting back to the matter at hand.. please tell me how to calm my overactive imagination and my ballooning fear -- any help will be appreciated. I haven't slept well in 3 nights and am so overtired it isn't funny. I don't know how to shut my brain off when it comes to this. Thank you for listening. Lisa Z Tomorrow is the big day!

There is nothing ludicrous about what you are feeling. I think if you read alot of the posts on here, you'll find that most of us go through the same thing. These are all normal feelings. Make a picture of yourself in your head of how you're going to feel when you've lost 100 lbs. Imagine how you're going to feel when your BMI is 30 instead of 45 and your diabetes is gone and although it might be gone completely, but your back pain will be so much better. Like grabbing the brass ring. Good luck to you. You will be in my praryers. Joanne

Joanne, Thank you for reminding me of the main reason why I am having this surgery -- to ease the pain in my back. If I can do that then maybe I can actually have a life... maybe I'll be able to get off all these high potency pain meds... maybe I'll be able to go back to work... I hope and pray that losing the weight will help me to accomplish those things! A life... I can't wait!!! Hugs, Lisa Z

Hey Lisa just enjoy today and think about next year at this time. The time will go quick and before you know it you will be a big Loser!!!! I am very happy for you and will keep you in my thoughts. Good luck for a quick and easy recovery. Hugs Chris

Hiya Chris I'm finally starting to calm down. I have finally figured out that whether or not I worry, I don't have much control over anything except my attitude. So I'm plastering a smile on my face and trying to convince myself that everything will work out well and by my birthday in October, I will be well on the way to reaching my weightloss goals! Thank you for your support.. I truly appreciate it!! Hugs, Lisa Z

Lisa, Hun first take a deep breath and try to relax. ~Hugs~ For me what helped alot was looking at all the before and after pics, stay away from the profiles so you do not read anything negative. Those before and after pics are so awesome. Think about all the new clothes you will be fitting into and how much your life will change for the better. Take some time by yourself and just relax, do something that helps with stress (long walk, nice bath or read). You will do awesome hun and believe that because what you believe you become. ~hugs~ Take care and the very best, may you have a smooth surgery and speedy recovery. Will someone update us when you are out of surgery? Debra P

Deb, I'm trying my best to relax today, but I gotta tell you it isn't easy. I just found out I have to be at the hospital at 6 am for a 7:30 am surgery time... that doesn't sound too bad until you realize that the hospital is 90 minutes from me! I'll be getting in the shower at 4 am so my husband and I can leave by 4:45 -- that is an ungodly hour!! lol I am trying to focus on the good things that will happen and let the bad things fall where they may (I've got no power over them anyway, so why kill myself worrying about them). I got out the outfit that I want to fit into -- it is a pair of my daughter's jeans (she hated them, i love them) and a shirt of hers (the tag is still on it). When I can fit into that outfit, I will post my "after" picture.. cuz the pants are a size 10 and the shirt is a medium! And at least I won't have to buy too many clothes as I shrink -- I've got everything from a sized 10 to a sized 24.. boy will it be nice to fit back into some of those expensive sweaters and jeans I bought years ago and either couldn't wear or wore only once. Thank you for your prayers and your help -- I truly appreciate it! My daughter will be posting tomorrow night to let everyone know how I'm doing and then my Angel will keep you guys up to date afterwards. I'll see you on the losing side!!! Hugs, Lisa Z tomorrow's the day!

Thatta Girl!!! So glad to hear you're feeling better now. There is so much to look forward to from here on out. The "WOW Moments" will be so much fun and you are going to be healthier than you have been in years. We will all be thinking of you tomorrow and looking forward to your daughter's and updates. Just try to relax, take a nice long hot and enjoy the journey and use the morphine pump!!

Hi Lisa- CONGRATULATIONS!! I WI**** WAS MY DAY!! I understand how you feel, your worries are unfounded, you have done your homework and now is the time for you to follow through. You know your quality of life is going to change dramatically for the better, how much would remain the same (or do worse) without it? I am at the point- where I am more afraid of living without the surgery, than dealing with the surgery and everything afterward. Its understandable that you feel excited and exhilarated at the prospect and also wanting to hold on to what you do now. You are going to rewrite your life one step at a time. Rome wasnt built in a day, and neither will you be. The important thing to remember, is change comes from within and will work itself outward, and as you progress, everyone will really begin seeing YOU for the first time. So be patient and gentle with yourself. This is an exciting time, the next weeks and months ahead, and you have your whole life ahead of you. Enjoy it- one step and one day at a time. I send you lots of love and Blessings, and wish you well on your journey. Donna P.S. One thing I have done - is pruchased some clothes I intend to get into, several months down the road - I am planning to go to Vegas. So I will bring that shirt or skirt with me when I go to the hospital- to remind me, where Im headed - is far much more fun, than where I've been. I hope that helps you too.

Lisa, Well that is what I get for being too busy to read the boards!!!!! I missed telling you once again how excited I am for you, and letting you know how amazing you are going to do!!! I just called the hospital and they say your phone isn't hooked up yet!!!!! That's okay, I'll call back later tonight. Their voices told me that you are in a room, out of surgery, so that made me breath a big sigh of relief. You are on the losing side, officially now!!! YAY! Talk soon darlin' Your