What am I supposed to do now... ?? (long)

Hey everyone, I need to vent, sorry for the long post. First, let me give ya a little background: I do have a job and even though I put in between 30 and 40 hours a week, it is still a part-time job. When I first applied and got this job, it was intended to be truly "part-time"-- just 4-5 hours per day. I have managed to put in some extra hours rights from the start, however, when I take time off for whatever reason I do not get pay for that time and neither for holidays and such. This makes it the more difficult for me to set up doctors appointments and take care of personal matters...the bottom line is that I need all the money I can bring home. So what I've been doing is setting up (most) appointments for days when my boss is (will be) traveling so, at least, I don't feel double-guilty for taking the time off. [I work in a home office -my boss is retired and works out of his home- I do report to him directly and, every once in a while, his wife gives me stuff to do]. So, here's my dilemma: since 4/21/05 when I went to my first surgeon consultation, I have been to pretty much all my consults and just today, after the first sleep study back on 5/13 and the second on 6/17 I got the cpap machine delivered to my home. This is good, because at least my sleep apnea will start to be treated and hopefully, one day, it will completely disappear. The problem stands where I still don't know if I will get the insurance approval in time for my target day to have the surgery(while my boss is away on a 13-day vacation) and while my husband is still on vacation. Thursday, 7/7 I went to my pcp, to what I thought would be an easy visit and the final one before he submitted his clearance to my surgeon. But not!! My doctor refused to do blood work and a physical that my surgeon requires along with the baseline history. My pcp said that unless he had "in writing" what the surgeon needs, he wasn't going to do it. This was a shocker to me for my pcp has been very supportive and agreed to give me a referral letter I put together. I almost started to cry (at first) and then I just wanted to yell at him. He knows what my time frame is and knew I just went in on the 7th to get the last of his paperwork and history so that FINALLY my surgeon could submit all the paperwork to the insurance company. And not only that, I had taken Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday of this week off so that I could finish and go to the last of my consults. REMEMBER: I do not get paid for time off! So now, it seems that I will have to take some more time off, again, risking losing my job, and the worst part is that at this point, it is getting awfully late for me to get the approval for an August 1 surgery. I do not understand what the problem was with my pcp on Thursday. Haven't he had patients having surgery for whom he must have had to issue clearance after doing the pre-op testing and stuff. "We don't do business like this" he said. "Your surgeon has to send me a written request with what he needs." I mean, is it me?? I'm very disappointed, mad and sad at the same time. Here we are, July 9 (which is my 5th wedding anniversay, by the way!...yayyy! Thank God for my hubby who supports me 110%) and the paperwork has not even been submitted to GHI yet. What are the chances that I will get approved within a week or two and actually be able to have surgery on the 1st of August (surgeon operates on Mondays, preferably), which will only give me 7 days before my boss returns from his 13-day trip. I don't think it's going to happen and after 2-1/2 months running around like crazy from doctor to doctor taking care of the consultations it makes me even madder to think that all this will end up being nothing but a waste of time (and money, that we so desperately need). I don't want to give up, but I feel nothing but despair right now...I'm soooo depressed. Sorry all and thank you for reading this long post, but had to tell someone other than my poor hubby. God bless ya all! Dolly

Dolly, I got my insurance approval within one week of my surgeon's office submitting all the proper paperwork. I hope this all works out for you, but please know that anything can happen with the dates....insurance, your dr., how you feel, etc.... so things might not go exactly as you hope, but in the end hopefully you will be on your way to wls. Janean

Thanks Janean...you're right...Hopefully this will be my case too. It's just sooo frustrating... Dolly

Dolly, Hun I know this ride can get crazy but why don't you just take a deep breath first off. Relax and get yourself back to moving forward....~hugs~ Why don't you have your surgeons office fax over what they want to your PCP then call them to make sure they got, go in and have bloodwork done and you should be one your way? Just a thought! Also I had GHI also and since all was in order I had my approval within a week. Also I have to ask, when you are out for your surgery you will not get paid you said, so why does it matter when you go besides your boss not being around? If your not getting paid your not getting paid? If you have to take some time off when you boss is back for the surgery just tell him you have to have major surgery and leave it at that, he does not need to know anything hun..... Just some thoughts to try and help.....~hugs~ Hang in there hun, you will be on your way soon. Come here to vent, that is what we are here for. Take care and I wish you all the best!!! Debra P

Hi Debra! The surgeon's office has been a bit difficult...no matter how many times and how many different ways I've asked them to tell me exactly (preferably in writing) what I need from my pcp and other specialists, they just tell me by word of mouth... Regarding when I need (or would want) this done is because my husband is a school teacher and he's on vacation now. Since I have no other relatives in the USA (I'm Dominican), he will be the one helping me and taking care of me after the surgery. Otherwise, I will have no one around to help, especially the first week or so post-op--My 15 year old is away in the Dominican Rep. for the summer. When you work for a company, you can get away with taking time off as often as you need it, whether you get paid or not...you do what you have to do... But I work in a home office where it is just my boss, myself, his wife (who gives me things to do every now and then, and the accountant who comes in twice a week). I just fear that taking so much time off as I have will jeopardize my job and I can't afford to lose it...and it took me a long time to find work! I guess I'm just scared and this all add to the stress the preparation for the surgery causes by itself. For the rest of today, at least, I'm going out with DH to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary...sort of... We're going to a brunch at the place where we got married in Elmsford, and then, who knows.... Tomorrow will be another day and hopefully I can get something accomplished towards my goal. Thanks, Debra for your support! Have a wonderful day! Blessings! Dolly

Dolly: I know how you feel. I got delayed because of insurance problems on my surgeon's end. I was panicking, because I am a teacher and have to work within a set time frame. I got my approval on June 23 for a July 12 surgery date. Ask your surgeon to submit your insurance approval now. Clearance doesn't happen til later. Once you get the date, you can worry about getting clearance from your pcp. Do you go to support group meetings? My dr. requires it - and it helps! The women there are great and I'm sure if I needed help I could count on one of them. Fortunately, my sister is around and able to help me. Reach out. Explain to your surgeon's office that you need in writing what he needs from your pcp. Believe me, he wants you to have this surgery - it's what he does! If you let him know that not having in writing what you need is interfering with your ability to have the surgery, I think he'll come up with it pretty quick. Also, you could check with the hospital where you will be having the surgery. At my final visit with my pcp, he did all these tests - bloodwoork, ekg, urinalysis - that I wound up having the next day at the hospital pre surgical testing. His office asked that the test results be faxed to him from the hospital and he said he'd give me clearance then. If your pcp needs certain info that the hospital has to get anyway, why can't he just get if from them. Sometimes I think drs. forget we pay them. I think they think they can intimidate us. Stand up for yourself in a nice way. Smile a lot but be insistent! It' not about THEM, it's about YOU! My surgery is the day after tomorrow. Wish me luck - and keep me posted! I'm sure it will all work out for you. Just don't give up... Suzanne

Dolly, I hope you managed to have a really wonderful anniversary celebration! I have a question about your surgeon... does he do a lot of bariatric surgeries? Has he done at least 100 bariatric surgeries (especially within the last year or so)? His attitude is surprising. My surgeon gave written directions for almost everything. He had pre-made "prescriptions" for all my pre and post-surgery blood tests, abdominal binder, vitamins (whether prescription grade - such as iron - or over-the-counter), etc. In fact, the blood tests he required HE prescribed and I went to the lab that my insurance accepted (which, luckily for me and my work schedule, had Saturday morning hours so I didn't have to lose time off from work). And, from what I've heard from other WLS patients, my doctor is typical! Oh - and the final clearances - from my PCP and cardiologist - were all done approximately 1 week before my surgery (as required by the hospital and my insurance company). Please understand, I'm not trying to be negative here. I'm just concerned. You are going to be undertaking a very important and even dangerous surgery. It is so important to have the right surgeon. Please make sure he is extremely qualified. Your life and your happiness are in jeopardy if he isn't adequately qualified. I will keep you in my prayers. Good luck! ~~ Ilene Rachel R-N-Y Gastic Bypass 06/22/04 297.5/174.5/130-140