Why do so many of us break up with our spouse ?

Why do so many of us break up with our spouse after surgery ? I noticed that alot of us after surgery have issues with our spouse and eventually break up ! I'm 1 year out of surgery and now I'm having problems with my childrens father we have 3 kids together and I'm 28 and he's 31 before surgery I always stood home and didn't go out I was very depressed now I'm finally enjoying my life ! Why can't they just understand that we feel so much better about our selves and be supportive instead of arguing all the time ? Has this been happening to anyone else? Celena 260/145lbs

Hi Hun, It's been a long time since we chatted, unfortunately, you are not alone, I have not have surgery yet, but I did break up with my kids Father about 6 months ago, the surgery was a big part of it, the other he cheated... It's called INSECURITY. Not all men, but most, tend to be with a larger women for security purpose, they believe that this is the only way they can keep us home, being that at this stage we are under stress, depression, hate the way we look and feel, ect. This tends to make thier Male Ego bigger, atleast for my ex it did, however, when they notice that we do look better, feel better and tend to love life again and really give everything a try, going out when before you didn't, fixing your hair, nails and the brand new outfits, as when before you really didn't care what you looked like, all these changes are a threat to them, remember not all men are like this, but it does happen sweetie, I know it might hurt, but if he was with you because it made him feel better when you were big, then you really didn't and don't need him in your life. I've learned this from 2 Special woman here on the board and they know who they are, but they both have given me so much confident within myself and shown me how to learn to find the true me and love me, that it really does not make any sense to try to figure out why the relationship didn't work. Just thank God that you are healthy and loving life again. If it's meant to be that you are with him, you will be. Just give it time for him to adapt. If he does really love you and appreciates you, he'll give in and learn to live with you and your new life style.. & Mercedes P.S. Have you hit the big jackpot in Atlantic City yet???

HI Mercedes, Long time no hear thanks for the advice !!! I been going thourgh alot right now with him trying to keep everything good for my children !!! Girl I haven't been to Atlantic City in a minute how you been still waiting for authorization for surgery take care good luck and God bless !!!

Hey celena and mercedes, Let me tell you, I been with the same man for ten yrs, never got married, 3kids, and lately we been arguing most about this surgery. He likes big girls and he keeps telling me that the reason I wanna go ahead with this surgery because I want to loose this weight and leave him for another guy.

and i think the other half that split after the surgery had miserable marriages before hand. The surgery gives a person back the self esteem and self confidnece to fix the wrong situations.

Hey Celena, Did you ask him to go to couple's counseling? It really helped us. We went years ago ... long before WLS. But some issues came up post-op, especially post-plastic surgery that brought us back to therapy. WLS is just as hard for them as it is for us. We change so fast physically & emotionally that it's as if they don't know who we are anymore. It kind of makes a person loose their footing. I can relate to tha****ching my 13 year old change before my eyes ... I wonder who she it and what happened to my sweet little baby-girl. If you guys are struggling ... get help ... you're worth it! Hugs*Kisses Mary