What to tell them at work???

So now that I finally got my date (July 11) I have to figure out WHAT and WHEN to tell my 2 bosses. I work in a small closeknit company of 10. I keep changing my mind about telling them the truth, or telling them I need to have a procedure and its personal, or a procedure of the female kind. I hate lying even though its none of their business but things have a way of leaking out (I told one of the girls already) and they will see me losing weight and eating differently. In the past 2 yrs, they saw me lose 60 lbs and gain it all back also. I think its too early to tell them yet - its 6 wks away. Any suggestions? -Dee

Hi Dee, Everyone seems to feel differently about telling co-workers, some tell all, some say they are having "intestional surgery" , " a surgical procedure"... I didn't have to say anything to my bosses until 2 weeks before surgery and told them that I was recently told that I had to have some surgery and would be out for 2 - 4 weeks and I chose not to be specific. I started talking about it casually after it was over when I was less nervous and was on the road to recovery and a new healthier life. I found that the less "big deal" you make about what you are eating or not eating and the less you try to hide stuff the less fuss people make over it. I am 2 1/2 years post op and have a new job now that no-one knows of my "before" life so its no longer an issue.. Whatever you decide will be right for you! There is no one right way. Take care

Hiya Dee, If you are uncomfortable about giving specifics, or dont want to hear everyone's opinions about the surgery, then do not feel as if you have to give any explanation at all. You can say, without lying, that your doctor has recommended you have surgery and you will be out from 7/11 for approximately 2 - 4 weeks and leave it at that. If they ask simply tell them it is not something you feel comfortable discussing. That is what I did with most people, even my supervisor. Afterward, like Kathy said, started to say some things here and there to people and let some people know. I didnt want people to know before hand because it seems many people have a preconceived notion of what WLS surgery is and how dangerous they think it is and this and that and all other nonsense and I didnt want to deal with any of that before hand - I had enough to deal with, lol. Afterwards, it was much easier and a lot less stressfull. God bless you and keep you, ~Andrea

Dee, Hun it really is up to you....~hugs~ For me I told them everything even before I had a date or anything because I knew they would see me taking many days off for all the testing....some I had to take as sick days, well they knew what I was doing but said I can take it as a sick time. I just talked to them about the 3 weeks off and they said the 3rd week they will give me my week sick time, I have 2 weeks vaca which they can not tell me how to use it but it was nice of them that they are giving me the 3rd week as sick time. I am also a person that told everyone I met that I was having this done if they wanted to know, if they do not like it then so what... That is just my story hun, you have to do that is right for YOU and YOU alone.....~hugs~ I wish you luck... Take care Debra P

Dee Good Luck with what you descide to tell your employers. I can tell you this, I also work in a small place, an office of about 20 ppl and I have 3 bosses. I was very open through ALL of this, and to be honest, every single person in the office is 100% behind me, and most days are my biggest cheerleaders. When I began this, I always said I was not going to hide what I was doing.If it was a good journey I would praise it ! and if it was bad....the world would know....LOL The way my Dr's explained it is, if people at the office notice all the weight change, and the pale look in ur face, and most times you will have this......all the changes he explained that some people in your office or small work place with at most times think the worst and think you have taken ill......Anywayssssss Good Luck and rellay its all up to you and what you choose to tell people. Take Care Brenny

Dee only you can make that decision to tell or not to tell that is the questions.....I have not told anyone from my job, before or after....when I got mixed feelings from my best friend and family I knew I would never tell anyone about it at work...after four months now I still have not told anyone here at work... you can tell them you need to take a medical leave and do not wish to discuss it or that you are having intestinal surgery but you don't have to give them any details, or even women problems that always works...I told them I was having by pass surgery and they thought I meant for my heart since I had a heart attack in Nov.....I just never corrected them.... I wish you luck with your decision.... Chrisitne

Thank you all for your advice/support. I guess I have to just think about how I want to handle it. Geez this is the worst part for me...it has me more nervous than the psych appt did! lol Actually I am having the lapband so I really only need a week off at most. I don't know why I am so nervous to speak to my bosses! they are very nice and understanding. I just have so much on my mind, I haven't even told my Dad yet and I am waiting for insurance approval as well, so I'm a bit on edge. But thank you, you have given me some ideas to think about. -Dee

Dee, As for myself, I decided to tell my supervisor and co workers as soon as I decided to have surgery. They wouldve eventually found out anyway. I also found 3 other co workers have had it done and were a BIG help! Everyone has been a wonderful support network! Best wishes...but above all.....be honest! Roxanne

Dee, tell them whatever you feel comfortable with. I doesn't seem like you feel totally cool with telling them everything and even though it IS a small office, HIPAA privacy rules maintain that they are not ENTITLED to know the details of your medical issues and should not disclose any information they do have to anyone you have not authorized to know. In any case, for now, perhaps you might feel better telling them that you need to have surgery, it's been approved by your doctor and your insurance and that you aren't comfortable discussing too many of the details. Please may still "talk" or gossip but what can you really do about that? Just concentrate on being prepared for surgery and may you have a safe and uneventful one! Renee H 387/245/-142 lbs.

Dee, I wish you the best of luck. My date has been set for July 11th too. It was also going through my mind as what to say to my boss. It's not that he wouldn't approve,but I just don't want it to get around the office. I told him back in December that I was going to be out on leave because I had to have surgery, he just said ok but didn't ask me why. But I hadn't gotten a date as yet I had assumed that it would be February that I would have had my surgery. Any ways, we are facing the same challages as of now, I wish you the best of luck with everything.