Roll Call ( sex question)

Hi Christine , First let me say I am sorry you are having to deal with this issue. Prior to surgery I didn't want to have sex. I just felt down about myself, and it I just felt ugly. After this surgery though and the weight started coming off I have felt more secure about myself and I just want to all the time now. Do you have sagging skin? maybe that is why you still feel that way. Don't worry about posting about sex, we all do it LOL !!!!! One more thing you are a beautiful woman, and it seems to me inside as well as out. Try to feel good about yourself. I am sure your husband feels the same way. Take care and look in your mirror and see how beautiful you are. Read in your posts how much you care about these people on here and see how beautiful you are on the inside. Stormy 346/302/151

Thank you so much for all your kind word you are making me cry you have really touched my heart....thank you...... Yes I do have the sagging skin and boobs to go with it yes it bothers me.... I do feel good about myself and I love coming to the board cause of post just like yours. It's nice to know that there is hope and that your sex life has improved since losing weight... Christine

Hi Christine , You are very welcome for the kind words, and they meant them whole heartedly. A few women at my support group here in Olean need to get the PS. They don't like the way they look in shorts and things because of all the sagging skin and stuff. So maybe after you are able to get something done you will feel more attractive to yourself. Good luck hon and I hope you can get past this. Stormy :hugs: 346/301/151

Boy.. here goes. DH and I used to be very sexually active, then it died down. I tfigured it was my weight, and I felt like a blimp. So for three months before surgery we had NO sex. Then two weeks after surgery we had sex once, and since then nothing. I have to say, I still do not care. I tell him he has become the keeper of the sex, only when he feels like it. I questioned this and he says it's because he doesn't have the urge...which I know is a lie because I know how to look at the history in the computer if you know what I mean. This has made me feel utterly useless, and ugly. I have no desire for sex, as now I feel it is an obligation to him so that I will shut up. I will never initiate sex with him again. I think my problems are bigger than weight, but I know that is a big thing. In fact, he touched me the other night, and I have to say I was angry to think that sure, now that I am losing weight you want me. Why did I have to cry myself to sleep before? I'm a person too. Eileen

OMG Eileen I am so sorry, it's one thing to not feel like it yourself but to have a man not want to it makes you wonder..... But I have to tell you you are not an ugly person, you had WlS do to issue with your weight, you needed to be heathy and happy unfortunately your hubby is not making your feel desireable....and that doesn't help us.....I do believe that WLS is something you do for you and nobody else....and after WLS you must continue to take care of you and put you first....and your hubby should understand that...my hubby doesn't complain about it but it bothers me that I just don't have the desire to have sex, and or make love...but he still wants to be with me and have sex, so we are in two different situations... I will e-mail you in a few min's I just want to say thank you for sharing your dilemma with us....it is very hard to talk about these issues but we do need to talk about them to someone it lays heavy on our hearts... and {{{{{hugs}}}}}} Christine