Having Morbid Thoughts

Hi All: Thank you all for writing to me!!! I have 30 something days to go until surgery and I am having all these morbid thoughts!!!! I have read that this is normal, but how do you go on without making yourself nuts...I dont want to tell my two young boys that I am having an operation that is very serious...they are very sensitive boys....let alone that I will not be home for 2 days...I'm just beginning to freak out....Help Cathy

Cathy, Hun I know the feeling, I am having surgery on June 6th and having thoughts myself, which I know they are normal and just trying to deal with it... Plus I had to read something that happened to someone that has the same surgeon as me..... but I do know people have different problems so we are not all the same and for me I have to just trust in God that I will be ok and he will see me through.. I do not have kids to worry about so I guess that must be a little easier but I still worry about my family and hubby is something happened to me... Well I will be seeing what some post-ops have to tell you so it might just help me too...~hugs~ We will be ok hun.... Take care Debra P

You're right, Cathy, it's very normal to have these thoughts. It's your inner self's way of preparing for a major life change. It is a big thing, a life changing operation, but it's also a LIFE SAVING operation. You wouldn't even be having this surgery if you didn't want to be alive for the rest of your boys' lives! Being honest with your kids doesn't mean you have to tell them the nitty gritty, blow by blow proceedure. Are they old enough for you to tell them where babies come from? If they are old enough and you already have, I'm sure you didn't tell the whole biological text book story of procreation. When they're young, you make the truth fit their understanding. That's what you do with the surgery, make the truth fit their level of understanding. Last weekend, I gave my husband my burial wishes and funeral directions!!!! He got all weirded out, but I felt better Now, as how not to dwell on these thoughts and make yourself all depressed and uncertain, do what I do when faced with an inner challenge (now, no over eating is allowed, although moderate consumption of chocolate has been known to help tremendously ).... SHOP!!!! Get out there and pick up some smaller sized outfits!! Look at the cute summer sandals that are out this year!! Take a supportive buddy with you and SHOP, girl, SHOP!!! You need this for your mental health!!! Even if you don't have the extra cash right now, window shopping in regular ladies size department stores will give you a BIG lift in your spirits and help change your mood from somber to hopeful. You can do it, girlfriend, just pick up the phone, the car keys, your credit cards and GO!!!! Hehehehe, it really worked for me! Hugs, Becky Jean

wow Becky Jean, you sound great for someone 5 days post op! Doing good I suppose!?? I havent decided if or when I am going to tell my mom, husband and children, but I will have all my plans made out and letters written to all of them just in case. We are going on vacation in July and if I have a date by then I was thinking about telling them then, while we are all together enjoying ourselves, then again, it may put everyone in a mood and ruin the vacation, so I'll see... Karen in Cheektowaga

Hehehe, Karen, it was my belly that was operated on, not my sense of humor! But truly, my hubby has been a big support to me and my greatest ally in this. Even my family (aunt, uncle, cousins) has been more supportive than I imagined. I only have one friend who actually has dumped me over this. She is very heavy and thinks I have somehow betrayed her. I miss her but I know that these are her issues, not mine. I hope you tell your family soon- God bless you whatever you decide! Becky Jean