Waterworks

Hi Everyone Hope you are all doing better than what I am feeling right now! As I type this I am sitting here crying because my husband has been arguing with me about--what else??? $$$$ I made the mistake of showing him a pair of melon capris and asking him if a navy blue shirt would go with them. He then proceeded to ask me how much I have spent on clothes? I told him around $400.00 whi*****ludes summer tops, pants, capris, bras. I have not gotten any new outdoor jackets and am still wearing 3X. I told him that this is pretty reasonable for women's clothes but he still had a s**t fit! He told me that he is going to take away my credit cards and stop his paycheck from direct deposit. I should add that we live a comfortable lifestyle within our means. I told him I did not charge these clothes but used the money from my inheritance from my Mother. He told me that I am a liar, I should have paid some bills with my inheritance which I did--He knew that as I lost weight I would need clothes. In fact, I told him I was going to order some new clothes. He had no problem with this at the time but now you would think I purchased a million dollar wardrobe. What does he expect me to do? Still wear my size 3X when I am now a Medium (12/14)? I am so upset. Here I thought he liked me looking nice with fitted clothes but now I am beginning to think otherwise. I didn't even buy a bathing suit but took the one my daughter purchased for herself that was too small and would not be my choice but because it could not be returned my bathing suit choice was decided for me. Right now I HATE HIM! I was feeling so good about myself but now my self esteem has plummetted to nothing, I am sorry for telling you all this but I knew you would all understand what I am feeling and may have even gone through this. Now what am I supposed to do when the fall comes and I have to buy winter clothes? Do I have to keep feeling guilty everytime I buy something that fits me? Marianne

Hello Marianne I am sorry you are going through this. Man can be very insensative. Maybe he is feeling jealous a bit. He probably knows that you look great in your new clothes and other will notice too and he is\might be uncomfortable with that. i have read that men who have had a large wife\partner do get jealous once the weight is off. Please dont feel guilty about new clothes, you need them. And deserve them. Look at what a great thing you have done for yourself. You look fantasic.!.!. Take care thin wishes and WLS dream Tammy

Marianne, I am a married male and figured maybe you'd like to hear from the opposite sex. When I read your post I felt for you, there are so many things that may have caused your husbands reactions to your mini shopping spree. Least of which is the money. I doubt very highly that it's the money you spent, I think there's a good chance that maybe your husband issues are psychological. It's like this in my view- You are changing, not only are you changing but you are changing for the better. You are looking better, feeling better and now you are dressing better. Maybe he say the new clothes and freak out because it effected his confidence. This should not effect your Self esteem in a negative way. I would think of ways to encourage your husbands self esteem. Just a guys POV. Enzo-

Hi Marianne..... I'm sorry you're so upset! I think Enzo is right, though. I'd bet your husband is feeling a little insecure with the new stylish you! My husband and I went through this, and actually started seeing someone for counseling b/c we'd heard about the divorce rate being so high after the surgery. I think it's helped for my husband to hear that I love him, and I love the new me, and to know that at the end of the day, I'm sitting next to him on the couch. Please, don't feel bad about yourself ....$400 is VERY reasonable! Congratulations on your weight loss.....you look FANTASTIC!!! Claudia -115 at 6.5 months post

Marianne, Hun I would agree with Enzo, I think it is NOT about the money at all but something other.... and it might just be what he said. I think you will need to sit down and have a really good talk with him and see what he is feeling right now. ~hug~ So many things could be going through his head right now. I would NOT feel bad hun for anything you have done. You have come a long way and made a very big step/change in your life. One for the better, better health and a better life. This is for YOU and YOU only!!! then you can do it for others but YOU are first. You should feel awesome about yourself right now, you have come so far and look so good!!!!! I want to say CONGRATS to you for that. ~hug~ Hun all you can do for him is talk to him, try and find out what really is upsetting him. Feel good about yourself and try to help him at this point. You both will do great. I will keep you in my prayers and keep us posted...~tight hug~ Debra P

It has to be something more than the money for him to call you a liar. Definitely some issues he has to work out and nothing that should reflect on you. When you go through a big change it def affects those around you. Here's what you do....when you go out someplace with him....get dressed in some of your 3x stuff....lol!!! Maybe that will make him think. Hopefully he is at least a little easy to talk to and you can tell him how you feel, that you didn't do anything wrong, and you would want to know if it is anything else besides the money bothering him. I hope it gets worked out. Hang in there hon.

Oh Maryann Here are lots of HUGS{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}. Don't worry maybe he is just having a hard time adjusting to the new you. Give him time. Hope your day gets better! {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} 247/134/past goal