When do I tell my family and friends?

Hello! I am having a bit of trouble trying to decide when to tell my family and friends that I am going to have the surgery. My husband and parents know, but that is it. I was planning on waiting until I got my surgery date before I told anyone else so they could not try and talk me out of it. I don't want them to be ashamed of me or think that I do not have what it takes to loose weight on my own. What are your suggestions? Any help would be wonderful!! I met with Dr. Michael Hill, in Saranac Lake, on March 16th and he was going to send the first letter into the insurance company. I am so excited and nervous! This is getting closer than I ever thought it would, oh my! Thanks Kathy

i wouldnt tell anyone that your having surgery as long as you have your hubby and parents thats plenty people are so negative and naive and it will only second guess yourself besides you have us to support you what more could you ask for... i made the mistake by telling everyone that would listen... thank god i have a backbone and was able to shake it off ..... like i said just use us to brag vent share or whatever you need this is a great support and will be all you need till after your surgery....... Stacy -90 something

I'd say - Whenever you're comfortable. I know I probably won't tell some people at all (but I'm sure they'll figure it out or hear about it). I just know that some folks in my family don't approve of the surgery. I am not planning on telling my boss/employer/coworkers until I have a surgery date and need to put in for the short term disability. Even then, I don't think I'll go around spreading the specifics to everyone - just my boss. I know this is probably unusual - but I'm not planning on telling my parents until I have a surgery date. My husband knows and my best friend knows - and they both support me entirely. I don't feel like my parents would support me very much, and I don't want their negativity stressing me out in the meantime. I will tell them when it's right. I say...you're the best judge of character when it comes to your family and friends. Feel it out, you'll know when the time is right.

Stacy, Thank you for your thoughts! I really didn't think that anyone would reply to my question. This is the first time I have ever been a part in a message boart, it does work! Thank you soo much for letting me know that I have your support! This is really making me feel like I have people to talk to and you know what you are talking about. Thank you soo much!!! Kathy

Kathryn, Hello hun..... I take a different stand on this then most do I guess. I tell almost everyone I meet plus my family and friends. I have made this choice and no matter what anyone says I am doing this for me and at this point NO ONE can talk me out of it.... I know people can be so mean and nasty sometimes but it really don't try to let them get to me, I am secure in my choice and I will see it through.... I do have some family and friends that do no agree with my choice and so be it, it is my life and my health......I just wanted to give you my feelings and really it is all up to you and what makes you feel good about your choice..... Do what is best of YOU!!! I wish you the best of luck hun...... Debra

I know it's a really hard decision to make, who do you tell first that you're doing this. I told my family right up front this is what I'm going to do, and you are my family and you may not like it but I need you to support me, cause I have to do what is best for me and my daughter. My husband was behind me a hundred percent. Naturally they'll all worry because it's surgery. And I CAN definately say I've been told through several my friends, they don't agree with what I'm doing and refuse to see me at the hospital or during my healing process. And that's their perogative. You should never feel ashamed, or think someone will be ashamed of you. Don't worry what they think, this is your body, and you know what is best and what has and hasn't worked. If you need a shoulder, lean on me and I'll carry you. God Bless you and Good luck!!