Why can't some people understand????
I knew it was going to be a bad idea to let my immediate family know about my plans to have the surgery. They are all so judgemental and obsessed about weight! But, I told a lady that is a very dear friend to me, and she basically said if I would just stick to a plan I wouldn't have to have surgery. I was a bit depressed and upset, like I am just a quitter. I know this isn't the case, but I hate negativity! I am such a happy person and so supportive of EVERYTHING/ANYTHING a friend decides to do, even if I don't understand why.
To top it off, she said if I just had more faith in God that I'd lose the weight! That hurts! It hurts really bad!
I need SUPPORT! If you have any to spare, could you help??? Thanks!
Andi
Ya know what Andrea when people don't understand something they knock it ya know. You need to do what you feel is right and not worry about what everyone else thinks. I know how it is. I was always trying to please everyone and when I decided to do something for myself it was like I was ending the world for them. If people don't seem to understand that you are doing this for your health then they are so selfish! It is time to start thinking about getting healthier and not worry about what Tom, Harry & Sally are going to say, ya know! I wish you all the best! Remember we are always here for you if you need us. May you have an uneventful surgery and a speedy recovery. HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY TO YOU!!!!!!!
Evelyn
247/135/past goal
People react very strangely, but I found that it was mostly out of FEAR of the unknown. Even those around me who saw all of the things I tried to make the weight go away. My son said the neighbor lady [who, coincidentally was DENIED after applying for the surgery] told him I was going to DIE if I had the surgery and he was terrified. I told him, "Son, I am going to die if I do NOT have the surgery."
Once you start becoming successful with this, all of a sudden, you will find that they "inadvertently" become supportive. Sometimes almost by default, and then, lo and behold, they become PROUD of you!
Hang in there and know that people here at AMOS will always be supportive of you.
(deactivated member)
on 3/17/05 2:23 am - MT
on 3/17/05 2:23 am - MT
Andrea,
Hun I know what you mean, people are ignorant to what they do not know, some show it by being non supportive and saying things to make you feel bad instead of themselves. They don't want to feel stupid. ~hug~
My boss here at work promise to give me $2,000.00 if I got to goal by using diet only a time back.....well when he found out that I am having this surgery he said "well now this is void because you are taking the easy way out, not really working on it". Well I was so pissed off and upset I about quite my job but then I calmed down and his wife says to him "I don't think it is the easy way dear". She understood a little bit more only because she had a slight, very slight, weight problem herself. Well needless to say I will not see the money but who cares, I am doing it for ME and my life........
A very close friend was acting weird here at work and downing my choice, saying why not try hipnosis(sp?) first before taking such a risk and then why not just do the band because it is less stress on the body, he was almost insisting.....well it turns out he was very scared for me and when he noticed that I had done a lot or research and I was confident in my choice he came around.......go figure!!
Hun sorry to ramble but I just hate to see people upset over others ignorance....~hug~ If you need to talk just email me hun and I will give you my numbers........
Take care of yourself and believe in YOU!!!!
Debra
Thank you so much, Debra!
You don't know how much you saying that means to me! Now that I've calmed down a bit, I understand that she is just scared for me, but people need to understand, I'm already a bit scared of having major surgery (the only surgery I've had to date, or even been under anesthesia, was for 30 min to have teeth pulled), I need support right now, not criticism.
Oh well, she says she's gonna come see me in the hospital. I really don't have much of anyone here. I live in NYC alone and all my family lives in Arkansas. I have my boyfriend and my associates at work. So, that's the biggest scare I have right now. Having to go thru this alone!
Thanks for the support!
Andi
First off if you stay connected on this board you will never be alone we have all been where you are at one time or another... Second please please stay away from negative people i say that because if you dont go into this with a positive attitude you will get nothing out of it... i have someone in my life that says i took the easy way out meanwhile im in her daughters size five jeans and she is still a cow..... its very important to stay on this board and vent to us whenever you feel its nessesary because we are the only ones that know .... people are very naive and very envious its just human nature and sometimes they cant help themselves...... i know you want to share your excitement with other people but its just not worth the heartache... we on this board want to know when your happy when your sad when your bragging and so on so use us.... abuse us if you have to but stay positive and know your doing this to lead a healthier life........
Stacy - 90 something
Hi Andi
Wow, everyone really laid it on ya kind of thick didn't they? Let me tell you a story about what happened to me with regards to my surgery and having Faith.
My surgery was September 21. Since I teach I was hoping to have my surgery during the summer. I did use my summer vacation to undergo all the pre-surgical testing and I am glad I had this time off from work to do so. My daily prayer consisted of me praying that if this surgery was to be for me that all would go smoothly with NO complications at all. My prayers WERE answered. All my tests were scheduled almost everyday one right after the other during the summer months and my surgery even fell at the right time. I was at an advantage to having the surgery September 21 because it allowed me to start school (which this year was a new school because I was transferred to a different building) set up my desk, do some paperwork before having to go out on sick leave, which for me was 6 weeks due to the position I have working with Special Ed kids. I had no complications whatsoever! Surgery went well, recooperation went well and I FEEL WONDERFUL having lost a total to date of 93 lbs.
My point to all this is no one can tell you what or what not to do. You are your own person and you must decide for yourself what will be best for you in the long run. This is your life and it should be in yours and God's hands. Keep praying and believing. Ignore what others tell you to do--decide for yourself and I can guarantee you will be happy with yourself for doing so~ Good Luck with everything and everyone. Feel free to e-mail me anytime. I know what you are going through because the word disfunctional was created with my siblings in mind.
{{{ Hugs }}}
Marianne