HELP me with child's fears - PLEASE!!

Hi everyone! I had the most terrible experience last night! I had a work related meeting that kept me out past my son's bedtime. When I got home a little after 9pm my husband said I needed to go in and calm him down that he was all upset about me. Naturally, I thought "What now?" Well, what do you say to a little one (6 yrs old) when he approaches you with... "Mommy, don't go to your appointment." I asked, what appointment, thinking he met my meeting last night. Low and behold, I was wrong. He further stated, "Your skinny appointment!" I consoled and comforted him as any Mom would do, but it wrenched my heart to hear my little one pleading with me to not go to my appointment. He continued to state, "I don't want you hurt, you won't come home" "All I think about is that Daddy and I cannot be without you." He further, proceeded to tell me, "All you need to do is exercise... I will exercise with you... We can drive downtown and walk, walk, walk..." I am sure you all know that the decision to go through with this whole thing is hard enough - - but to have your little guy so concerned with you not coming home - - well that tops it! Makes me more than a little uneasy and questionable about my decision. I will go through with this, if I don't well my health will not improve and may need to go under the knife regardless due to my back. Has anyone else have this happen?

Hi tracy I went through the same thing with my 9 year old daughter.She is the type that keeps her feelings bottled up.I had notice that all of the sudden she was talking back and always with this attitude.One day her teacher even called me to tell me that she was being real disrespectful.Anyway i sat her down and asked her what the heck was her problem and she told me that I was going to die while in surgery.NOW YOU KNOW I FREAK OUT! What I did was I took her to all my appointments and all my meetings.I let her speak to my doctors and even some of the postops at the meetings.I even had to change my surgery date because i was afraid she was going to mess up on an exam she had. Hope this will help Amy

W/ my 6 & 4 year olds, I put it to them like this: Mommy's tummy isn't working right, and it's making me sick. The doctor can fix it, and then I'll be able to play more, and maybe even run around and have more fun. But to do that I have to go to the hospital, and when I get home I'll have some "ouchies" on my tummy for a while, and I'll eat differently for a while. I also made sure to point out all the *good things that would happen to them while all of this was going on: Seeing Grandma & Grandpa a lot more, having more playdates on school days, even going to McD's (usually a *rare treat...they went 2x the week of my surgery ) They were both a bit more clingy for a while, both before & after the surgery...but they're fine now, and I heard my older son tell a friend at the bus stop last week, "My mommy's tummy is better and she's FUN now!".........makes it ALL worth it! Claudia

My son was 10 when I had my surgery. He had seen my sister go through it successfully 6 months before me and I think that helped. He knew I'd be ok from this, but still got weepy right before I went in. He seemed to be upset that I would be away from home for several nights, not that I'd be harmed. I am really glad that my husband was home to give him attention while I was in the hospital. He was also a great help to me when I got home. It may be tougher with a younger one, but I am sure it will be ok as soon as you are home!!

My son was quite a bit older than yours but he was *furious*. He said "I am not going to support you in this because you could die." And I said to him "Son? The doctor said if I do not lose 100 lbs, I will die anyhow. If it is my time, it won't matter where I am or what I am doing. I am doing this so that I can LIVE and finish raising you." Of course now, he is proud of my accomplishment ~ and glad that I am alive

Thanks everyone for your help. As days have gone by - the subject has seemed to subside. Unfortunately, I am going out of town for four days and I just hope his concerns don't resurface. Hopefully, Daddy can pull him through the weekend. He is such a little trooper, I just know that he is scared he will lose me. But this is something I need to do - so I can see him grow up! Tracy