This really brought me down....
Thank you. Really. =)
*~*PROUD OH Support Group Leader*~*
Join SCALE~Second Chance At Life Everyday~Click HERE!
*Discount Codes: NY Conference MarloweNY11*
Heather:
Sounds like you have a lot of emotions going on.
one important thing I have learned is this, ther eisno one right way, there is no one size fits all, we are all human, and individuals. Each bariatric program has different guidelines, and sometimes neither is right or wrong or better they are just different. Comparing will always set me up for frustration or judgments. Living in the gray is challe nging at times but I work at it. Nuts are one of a million things people can either agree to differ on or take it up as a personal agenda...I am passionate about what has worked for me, sometimes too much and I bet we all are.
What does this whole issue callup for you!? I bet much deepr stuff than just what is on the surface!
It is easy for me to want and expect everyone to treat me as I would them, for me it just doesn't happen that way. Part of who I am (perfectionist) and my personality as a peoplepleaser can sometimes exacerbate my tendency to allow others to take away my personal power. I used to be extremely sensitive to any perceived judgments or criticism; now I am just somewhat sensitive. This has come with much work on my part to recover from my codependency and old ways of thinking due to nature and nurture.
Now when I am strong I set healthy boundaries letting others know what is acceptable and what is not in a healthy and safe way that neither allows me to shame them or take on anyone elses shame. I work hard at recaliming my power and not giving it away to others. I know now emotions are my internal compass. I have no control over others only my response to them. If I allow others to hook me and take me down that is a choice, I can also choose others to have their opinion and not alow it to devestate me. This is old old stuff. Old tapes, old beleifs so many irrational, but so familiar. Therapy, self help books, journaling, CODA groups etc have enabled me to now be more aware, and as a result not allow others control over me. NO ONE can make me feel anything only I have that power. (say it with me!).
Life is not black and white for me anymore, there are people I want to surround myself with and people I do not. When I am able to forgive myself (for not being perfect and for trying to be in the first place!) & let go of my judgments of others can I learn to accept others as they are because I don't feel threatened by anything about them which is better than me.
So for me emotions are to be honored, as clues to my internal status...I enjoy this qote tremendously "Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth."
Finally I leave you with this.
I CHOOSE:
to live by choice
not chance,
to make changes
not excuses,
to be motivated
not manipulated,
to be useful
not used,
to excel
not compete,
self-esteem
not self-pity,
to listen to the inner voice
not the random opinion of others.
YOU ARE ON TRACK FOR YOU, YOU MUST EXPERIENCE YOUR OWN PATH, it is not right or wrong it just is! Today I am working on letting go, accepting and above all being grateful. When I pray and am grateful for those that anger me or are seemingly against me I do so much better than when I hold in the negative energy! It is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die! I only hurt me! Be well......
Sounds like you have a lot of emotions going on.
one important thing I have learned is this, ther eisno one right way, there is no one size fits all, we are all human, and individuals. Each bariatric program has different guidelines, and sometimes neither is right or wrong or better they are just different. Comparing will always set me up for frustration or judgments. Living in the gray is challe nging at times but I work at it. Nuts are one of a million things people can either agree to differ on or take it up as a personal agenda...I am passionate about what has worked for me, sometimes too much and I bet we all are.
What does this whole issue callup for you!? I bet much deepr stuff than just what is on the surface!
It is easy for me to want and expect everyone to treat me as I would them, for me it just doesn't happen that way. Part of who I am (perfectionist) and my personality as a peoplepleaser can sometimes exacerbate my tendency to allow others to take away my personal power. I used to be extremely sensitive to any perceived judgments or criticism; now I am just somewhat sensitive. This has come with much work on my part to recover from my codependency and old ways of thinking due to nature and nurture.
Now when I am strong I set healthy boundaries letting others know what is acceptable and what is not in a healthy and safe way that neither allows me to shame them or take on anyone elses shame. I work hard at recaliming my power and not giving it away to others. I know now emotions are my internal compass. I have no control over others only my response to them. If I allow others to hook me and take me down that is a choice, I can also choose others to have their opinion and not alow it to devestate me. This is old old stuff. Old tapes, old beleifs so many irrational, but so familiar. Therapy, self help books, journaling, CODA groups etc have enabled me to now be more aware, and as a result not allow others control over me. NO ONE can make me feel anything only I have that power. (say it with me!).
Life is not black and white for me anymore, there are people I want to surround myself with and people I do not. When I am able to forgive myself (for not being perfect and for trying to be in the first place!) & let go of my judgments of others can I learn to accept others as they are because I don't feel threatened by anything about them which is better than me.
So for me emotions are to be honored, as clues to my internal status...I enjoy this qote tremendously "Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth."
Finally I leave you with this.
I CHOOSE:
to live by choice
not chance,
to make changes
not excuses,
to be motivated
not manipulated,
to be useful
not used,
to excel
not compete,
self-esteem
not self-pity,
to listen to the inner voice
not the random opinion of others.
YOU ARE ON TRACK FOR YOU, YOU MUST EXPERIENCE YOUR OWN PATH, it is not right or wrong it just is! Today I am working on letting go, accepting and above all being grateful. When I pray and am grateful for those that anger me or are seemingly against me I do so much better than when I hold in the negative energy! It is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die! I only hurt me! Be well......
Take Care, 
Jamie Ellis RN MS NPP
100cm proximal Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh Albany, NY
320(preop)/163(lowest)/185(current) 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery)
Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King www.albanyplasticsurgeons.com
http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/jamiecatlady5/
"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"
Jamie Ellis RN MS NPP
100cm proximal Lap RNY 10/9/02 Dr. Singh Albany, NY
320(preop)/163(lowest)/185(current) 5'9'' (lost 45# before surgery)
Plastics 6/9/04 & 11/11/2005 Dr. King www.albanyplasticsurgeons.com
http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/jamiecatlady5/
"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"
Thanks for the very kind and reflective words, Jamie! I will re-read this tomorrow, when I am not so tired! LOL
Thanks for putting in the time and effort to respond to me!
Hugs, Heather
Thanks for putting in the time and effort to respond to me!
Hugs, Heather
*~*PROUD OH Support Group Leader*~*
Join SCALE~Second Chance At Life Everyday~Click HERE!
*Discount Codes: NY Conference MarloweNY11*
Hey Girl! Your doing Great and don't think otherwise---
We all are human- and HOw are we suppose to know what we can eat andnot eat- unless we are told--- or we eat it and get sick-lol no really-
I think this is the hardest thing anyone can do is to have this surgery- and I give you lots of credit-
As for someone telling you what not to eat- yes some people tend to be harsh- as if we know we shouldnt eat something---
I am sorry you feel the way you do-- but please dont let one person stop you from being here- you may need us and we may need you--
take care
We all are human- and HOw are we suppose to know what we can eat andnot eat- unless we are told--- or we eat it and get sick-lol no really-
I think this is the hardest thing anyone can do is to have this surgery- and I give you lots of credit-
As for someone telling you what not to eat- yes some people tend to be harsh- as if we know we shouldnt eat something---
I am sorry you feel the way you do-- but please dont let one person stop you from being here- you may need us and we may need you--
take care
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