BEAT THE TOOL.....(humor)

Looking at the nutritional aspects of the postop life I ran across this old post...
(*MEANT TO BE HUMOROUS*)
You can beat this or any weight loss surgery. If you want to regain weight then I
would suggest you do the following:

(a) Eat a diet rich in high carbohydrates with a high glycemic index-- such as donuts, cookies, cakes, ice cream, they are calorie dense and will help you feel hungry soon after w/ little nutritional value!

(b) Do not start an exercise program, instead spend more time watching television and increase time in front of the computer, be a couch potatoes!

(c) Eat your food rapidly so that you don't get that full feeling. Remember, feeling full -- or satiety -- takes a while to register, so if you eat rapidly you can stuff a lot more in then if you eat a bit slower and feel full with less

(d) When you feel full, eat just a bit more-- this will help stretch that pouch out to a
normal sized stomach

(e) Graze throughout the day, especially those calorie dense foods -- eat a little bit all the time and you will find that no matter what operation, even a duodenal switch -- you can gain weight.

(f) Gulp down liquids before/during/after you eat, don't sip-- but gulp them down -- it will force the food out of a pouch (for RNY, lap band, VBG) and you can eat more, eat lots of slider foods such as yogurt, soups or cereals w/ milk all will slide right through the pouch!

(g) Drink alcohol, soda or any caloried/carbonated beverages (i.e. milk, lattés) you will absorb all the calories, not feel full, hungry sooner and the bubbles may help stretch that stoma/pouch!.

(h) Deside that you are cured and no longer have any emotional issues, keep on emotionally eating and avoiding any emotions you have, aferall food helps everything and you had WLS and lost in the first 6mo or so no matter what so this must ve true forever, why change now!?

--- I am certain there are other ways to beat the system, but these are some of the
more popular ones.
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UNDERSTANDING THE FUNCTION OF THE SMALL GASTRIC POUCH; APPLICATION TO POST-OP TEACHING AND EVALUATION (AKA POUCH RULES)
http://www.waynesmith.net/lapband/faq/pouch_management.htm