I was SMO for 5 years and now I am OBESE. Yay. Problem is...

I was SMO for 5 years and now I am just OBESE. Yay! Problem is I still FEEL like that SUPER MORBIDLY OBESE person. I want to try a support group but have become so shy I can't bring myself to go. I still feel embarrassed in social situations sometimes, and have nothing to say. Has anyone else felt this way? How did you get over it and on with life after being SMO?

(((HUGS))) I know exactly how you feel.  I still carry it in my head and all I can offer is just go.  Sometimes I get so scared to be in public places I swear everyone is watching me or looking to see how big I really am.  But, the only way to get over it it to bite the bullet and go.  I try to convince someone who is close to me and knows what I am going through to go with me.  In the beginning my son went with me to my support groups and my husband from time to time.  Then my husband would drop me off soon I was able to drive myself and go alone.  You can do it and girl it is the inner fat scared girl that got me to 372.  She don't live here no more so in 2009 make it your business to get out and go.  Let everyone see just how beautiful you have become and how much smaller you really are.

Sorry for the long response

~Maxine

First of all a big congratulations to you for your terrific weight loss!  I too am a SMO person who is working on becoming just obese and maybe then "normal" LOL! I have lost a bit over 100 lbs and while people tell me they see the difference and how good I am looking, I STILL feel like the big fat girl both outside and inside! It takes time for you to adjust physically and mentally.  Please I cannot stress more the importance of your support group.  They are either all in the same boat as you or have been there and can help you with your shyness and adjusting to your new life.  Many have had their own experiences or even know of psychologist(s)  if you feel you need one.  I think you would find you would have much to say in one of them.  Tell your story as you are doing here.  There might be one person in a group who needs to hear your story because they, too are struggling with being SMO or are shy.  You have come a long way, there is NO need for you to be embarrassed, even out socially.  Think of all the good you could do for someone else.  I say these things because I, too, suffer(ed) with the same type of anxieties as yourself.  I made myself go to support group and I have made many friends - one in particulary who has lost 200 lbs and is now a size 10!! yeah for Melody!! She has been my inspiration and calls me frequently to see how I am doing.  I am sorry this is so lengthy but I wanted you to know you are not alone and this board is a wonderful support mechanism but also, please consider going to one of your support groups-you will learn alot and see there are others like yourself and I just know you could be a big help to someone out there.Hang in there and keep up your good work-it does get easier with time (in ways) but I guess we never should forget where we've come from, either and how hard we worked to get healthy.  I also think that being SMO gives us perhaps a bit more empathy for anyone who lives life with some sort of problematic area - Maybe you could consider helping out at one of the support groups? Reach out alittle and the rest may come a bit easier because you are helping someone.  GOd Bless and best of luck, ok??  Take care, Mary (Molly P)

You see this is why they made us take a psych evaluation pre-surgery, the mind tends to remember the old you and your old habits.  Your comfort zone is all stored away in your mind.  What you can do is get a picture of the old you, put it next to your mirror so that everytime you look at it, you can look right in the mirror and see the new you.  And tell yourself how great you look!  You have to psych yourself up so you can psych yourself out of the house and into a new life.

There is an old saying that I got from my mom; "You may not be where you want to be, but you're not where you used to be!"  You have so much to be proud of and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.  You saw the need for a change in your life and you did and are continuing to do what you have to do to make your life better.  190 lbs???? WOW!  You go girl!!  Don't stop here, keep on gettin up.  You've come too far to be shy now.  Now you have to start struttin your stuff!!

Thanks guys

I definitely see the difference in the mirror and pictures...I just don't FEEL it yet when I am not looking at myself. It's so weird. I know I am smaller and have fun shopping and doing stuff alone but meeting new people is still hard. It's almost like I wish I was SMO so I would still have an excuse not to. Sounds weird huh? I don't want to be like this but It's hard to overcome. I did manage to go to a Christmas party with my sister this year. It was a little weird because everyone else was drunk and I don't drink at all but I made it out alive Ha ha. It wasn't too bad. Are you allowed to bring non WLS people to a meeting? I might ask my sister to come for a while.