Feel Like a Failure Help

Hi Everyone, Happy New Year....

I had revision band surgery July 08....due to slippage. I have not lost one single pound. I am stuck at 205-209 from 260 pounds. I had my first surgery April 07. What the heck is going on here. I know that I am not doing what I did before....that is a given. I have this band filled to 9.75 and I feel minimally restriction. I know that I am eating around the band. But truth be told I am so sick and tired of dieting. I have been fat since I was 11 and I am 53 years old now. I want a magic bullet, I want someone to wave their magic wand and make me skinny. OK so it's magical thinking....but I want that.

When Oprah talked about her weight gain.....and her frustrations....I understood how she feels....with all her work on herself, physical, spiritually, and her diet and exercise crew she still gained the weight back.

Then I was watching the Biggest Loser and a man on there had gastric bypass and gained all his weight back....400 pounds.

What the heck is going on here.....I want so badly to be thin, not to have to think all the time about food and what to eat what not to eat, to fit into normal regular off the rack clothes. I hate this.....it's like  a merry go round and I can't get off. Stuck in the twig ht zone.

I know I am feeling sorry for myself....well maybe I am. But I am so sick and tired of trying everything and anything to lose this weight. I am such a success in all areas of my life but this....and I am so darn mad at myself.

I know that its alot my fault....I will eat and do what I need to do for myself for a week and then comes the weekend and I blow it all on ice cream and cake. Boy am I really feeling sorry for myself.....LOL

I have to laugh at myself for what I just wrote above....whew...it felt good to vent and get that out. OK....now that I have vomited out all my pains and woes....its time to take a deep breath and move forward. Baby steps. I need to make an appointment with my surgeon and let them know how I feel and what I am doing. I know that they too are frustrated with me as well. I need to get to support groups and get involved with other like minded people. I have remained isolated and in my own head for some time now.....and I am not very good company when I am in this space.

Wow, you've read this far....you are a good friend to listen to me vent. I feel better....I know I have to put action into my plan....not be in my head so much. There is more to me than what I weight on the scale. I have to admit that I am a food addict and I need to take steps to address that. Feeling sorry for myself is only adding to my pity party.

Does anyone else feel this way......what have you done to move forward. I am open for all suggestions.....thanks a million times for letting me vent....

Hugs Susan

Hi Susan,

People fail for many reasons.  They snack or don't exercise or they eat/vomit/eat more/ vomit more and eventually stretch out thier stomach... you can eat thier meals with drink.  Ice Cream is also a nono :(...  Whenever I go out to dinner (pretty rare) I can eat alot take a bite, take a drink, repeat...and can finish off a plate easily...they obviously cheat it.  My Co-Worker who inspired me to get gastric bypass lost 200 lbs and she gained back almost all of it.  Within a year.  I feel bad for her but I see her eating cookies and potato chips all day, she never exercised, and shes always drinking sugary soda.  If I eat a snack its like beef jerky or fruit or something...

Its a tool, not a miracle :(.  You can cheat and cheat and its all for nothing...do you really love ice cream that much?  Dont buy it or bring it to your house :(....I do believe if you got gastric bypass instead of the band you would be better off.  But what you do with it is a different story.  Carnie Wilson also said snacks are her worst enemy.  Even tho she can never be the same 300 lb she still is unhealthy at 220.  There are far more success stories than failures.  You just hear about the failures in the media...

I heard hypnotism might work, that with a band can help.  Its a new year, make it a good one!!!

Herb

Susan,

HUGS!!!!! You are not alone! You have a food addiction! I truly believe addiction is a disease. Nothing to be ashamed of. But you can't do it alone hunny. You have to get your butt to support groups or get into therapy... Embrace the tools that are out there for you. Not only can you not do this on your own but you shouldn't have to!

I have fallen off the wagon many times along my journey because i wasn't reaching out to people. Lets reach oth to eachother. Lets be acountable together! You and me we can be a support for one another! what do you think? I am always here if you want to vent!

Hi Susan, I am sittting her right now thinking about your struggle. I haven't even had the surery yet and that's all I do is struggle. It has been 4 days without a smoke and I am 100lbs overweight. My husband invited family over for dinner and I want no part of the seeing anybody right now. I am in a rut too. I think it is awesome that we have the ability to write down what we are feeling for other people to read, I think it helps. Susan It will be ok, I promise. Keep up the GREAT work. Jakie B.