can anyone who had the RNY be switched to the DS?

Ya know, it's weird, I never went through the doubt - once I decided to do this I knew it was right & I researched the hell out of it & asked a ton of questions both here, of my SIL (she is a NUT who worked w/ bariatric surgeon) & of a few coworkers who have had the surgery (1 is 2yrs out & the other is about 5yrs out). I wasn't even nervous in the hospital the morning of my surgery. I have no idea why, maybe my mom was with me watching over me... maybe it was because I knew it was my only chance to live again... I don't know. So when folks go through the doubt & remorse I can't relate but I do remember things I read while researching & I try to convey those thoughts the best I can. I have demons to deal with so it hasn't all be sunshine & roses - I posted the other day about the carb issue that is driving me nuts. So as you can see this journey is so individual even though we all are going through similar surgeries!!

This format is tough because you don't know the tone in which comments were typed, ya know what I mean? Each person has to find that place within themselves to figure out how to deal with the changes both pre & post op. I can only hope that every person who was desperate enough to resort to wls ends their journey in a place of happiness & peace & enjoying life to the fullest... myself included!!!

no Cece i wasnt offended by ur comments. u are just stating the facts that u have gone through. i actually wanted the Ds but, she didnt do them and i had to choose between rny and lap band... so i wanted something perm so rny was my choice. but if i could have the Ds it would be chosen hands down.

i guess im to a point where, nothing is working for me, and i love to drink and water.. my once friend, is no longer toloarable. so.... its ok, everyone is diff... maybe in a few months i will be ok. if not, Dr. I has given me options... but thanks for always trying to help me...


And thank you all for always trying to encourage me and not give me neg posts.. with this major surgery.. i think some of us go into it thinking, oh surgery weight loss , we will be ok. but we forget that a lifetime of habit and eating is going to takealot more time and we have to get used to it.

sometimes we all feel in the dumps and need to vent and need to hate this thing we chose to do to oursleves.. before we can enjoy and learn how to live life again.. and having ppl who are pos instead of neg posts helps tremendasly (sp)

(This is my 3rd try my computer froze this am, and last time I tried OH diverted me to a promotional advertisement site?) Here it goes........

This tread calls up for me how we are all INDIVIDUALS, our mileage may vary with WLS. What ppl experience is personal and although there is typical there is no way to tell your experience..

HIBERNATION and DEPRESSION are common...but not everyone has either/both...our experience is just that based on our world view, it is neither right or wrong, good or bad it just IS....If I feel one way and you another it does not have to mean one of us is right and the other is wrong...it just means we feel differently.

We have morbid obesity in common and even WLS but there are many other things that keep us individuals...thoughts, feelings and opinions........

Here is a recent article worth reading.........
Depression after Bariatric Surgery: Triggers, Identification, Treatment, and Prevention
May 2008 by Cynthia L. Alexander, PsyD
http://bariatrictimes.com/2008/05/09/depression-after-bariatric-surgery-triggers-identification-treatment-and-prevention/

After WLS, you may be feeling tired and become depressed. When you are several weeks post op, and are either on a liquid diet or you are eating many fewer calories than you were pre op, this depression and
inactivity can become more pronounced. All you want to do is sleep, you may have crying spells, you may begin to believe that the surgery was a mistake, or you may think 'what in the world have I done to myself?' All these feelings are completely normal and, to a certain extent, are to be expected. If you do not experience these things that is normal as well.........

I wish I could of accepted and let go of All the thinking I did to avoid feeling; as well as self-judgments and regrets! I am choosing now to realize/accept/embrace that Whatever I think of after is hindsight and is 20/20 as they say but I think now, HOW IS THAT HELPFUL other than to further shame myself and keep me down. I instead attempt to reflect with the goal to learn and grow so notice w/o judgment, letting go of need to do things perfect has helped me a lot with this....


Being authentic, real, present in the moment is a goal....and feeling our emotions is a part of this, the happiness, joy, sadness, fear, anger etc all of it. Sometimes there is a purpose to keeping in an emotion for a while, other times we can move through and beyond them quicker....

Surgery was the easy part looking back although going through it I thought it was the hard part (ha how skewed that was!) living the lifestyle after in a consistent, self responsible manner is the most CHALLENGING thing I have ever chosen to do, I did not realize preop the immense effort it takes each moment to be healthy! It is so worth that energy though the freedom it brings!

I now embrace this motto: that Happiness and Success will NEVER EVER come from an external source (person, object, number on the scale). It can and will ONLY come from internal self-discovery and love.

Sure I hoped for the magical pill of wt loss to bring me happy...except now I have the same family, friends, coworkers, job, and issues I am just thinner. Weighing less may actually make issues WORSE!!! Esp. if we can not use food to cope and if we do devlop new coping skills....I wish I had known that WLS is one of the million steps on my life's journey *it is not the destination*! But I know this now, that is all that matters.


Nanette: thaks for sharing your authentic self...This is a courageous step for you to take...

WLS is not just about weight changing -- it's about life changing. This is why so many of us are challenged by the enormity of the decision. You are working throough this now....it seems.

I believe we do not need to suffer alone, in our unity we can find strength, hope and support... I am choosing to be grateful today for all my struggles/challenges (boy did I have buyers remorse 4 wk postop when I had 2nd emergent surgery to remove adhesions/bowel stricture, I was like WHAT THE F_CK have I done!?), as they were only lessons and opportunities that presented themselves and that I have been able to embrace and learn and grow from. Without them I would not be where or who I am today...

Nanette families struggle as well with our choices...my hubby today still has differnt things come up because of my decision 6 yrs ago....but that is his process and his stuff to deal with....

When you are ready to seek professional help you will, it won't help before then anyways...it has to be your decision and of value to YOU..

Ask perhaps why you choose to read teh DS board, how is it helpful? How is it not helpful? WIll you continue? IS it serving to keep you stuck in a victim rple or is it helping to move you forward, helpiing you heal? We all have choices on how to respond to life, we do not have control over many events that happen though....



An angry pouch remains angry for a day or so, liquids for a day can help reduce that, vs trying to eat again. If even fluids are impossible talking to surgeon isrecommended as it may be a medical issue such as a stricture, or behavioral issues you may be able to address (type food, amount, eating and tiing of food/fluid)...dehydration can add to nausea and vomiting so not getting in 64 oz a day an exacerbate this condition.....

No one should apologize for being real, authentic.
If one is pissed off then that is how they are feeling, if one is joyous then that is how they are doing........noapologizes needed. Ther does not have to be shame or guilt tied to being oourselves!!!!!!!!!!

WLLS surely can dig up some old crap, and w/o food to medicate it can feel totally overwhelming!

Average wt loss is 1# per day in 1 mo u r ontarget........

Here is info I have on loss of food...like a frief rxn...loss of best friend!
LOSS OF FOOD based on discussion on Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' Death and Dying

First Phase Of Grieving Is Denial:

a.. Shock
b.. Looking at ourselves and wondering what is going to happen to me.
c.. Wow
d.. Why couldn't I have done this before?
e.. Fear of doing it.
f.. I survived it.
g.. Fear of putting it back on.
h.. Felt sick
i.. Scared
j.. Fear of the unknown
k.. Dying
l.. Mood swings
m.. Going to work
n.. Depressed
o.. Feel proud
p.. Loss of food
q.. Mouth will be bigger than your stomach

Ø These are some of the feelings that you have during this phase. We will look at being healthier. This is a new concept. Why didn't we think of this beforehand?
Ø Don't let anyone tell you that this was an easy way out. This is the most difficult way out and it will be a stormy time that will last a lifetime.
Ø When we are in crisis we will reach for food, but since we had this surgery, we have to replace it with something else.
Second Phase of Grieving is Anger:
· We can't have what we want to eat. (See Maslow's Pyramid of Basic Needs at the end.)
· Our first level is Food, O2, H2O, Shelter, and Sex.
· We must think ahead and prepare ahead.
· We will stuff our anger.
· Our attitude will change.
· We look for food-grazing.
· We can't have it anymore.

Third Phase of Grieving is Bargaining:
· We try to cheat a little here and there.
· You want more-you get sick and gain weight.
· Food is an addiction.
· It is hard to take care of this when it's a basic need-you don't recall it because you stuff your face when you are hurting.
· You have to substitute something for food-drink water, shopping, exercise, quilting, and computer.
Fourth Phase of Grieving is Depression:
· You need to go and have cognitive therapy, which is thinking and learning.
· You have to be on top of it at all times.
· You have to deal with the issues and feel okay where the bargaining is okay and not feel guilty.
· Depression comes on and you need to treat the feelings, which are uncomfortable.

Fifth Phase of Grieving is Acceptance:
· What do you do to cope? Exercise, drink water, exercise, relax, yoga, soft music.
· This doesn't mean that you are done with the grieving process.
· You accept yourself as a whole emotionally, physically, safety, and security.

Pretend this is a circle: Emotional Eating Cycle
EAT
DEPRESSION - GUILT
INSECURE

Pretend this is a pyramid: Maslow's Pyramid
Ø Self-Actualization (reaching your goals)
Ø Self-Esteem (physical being) comes from within
Ø Love/Belonging
Ø Safety/Security
Ø Food, O2, H2O, Shelter, Sex

If you never take the risk, you will never have love or belong.

Self-esteem is where am I in life?
Ø Every day you should have a goal, also a 6-month goal, 12-month goal, 5-year goal. You set goals ahead of time and you can always change these goals.
Ø When you get up in the morning, you set your tone for the day. If you get up grumpy that's the way your day will be, etc.
Ø When you look at yourself-you have built this wall-physically and emotionally.
Ø The other part that is involved is relationships-they may not like the new you-change-relationship changes.
Ø It has to be a joint effort in order to make the relationship work.
Ø Self-actualization is when you have met your goals. You can drop in the pyramid in 30 seconds with a loss in job, death, loss of marriage, health. You have to be cautious.
Ø We are surrounded by food-when there is a death in the family people bring food, when you are ill, loss of a job, and socialization. All of these revolve around food.
Ø A lot of us don't make self-actualization as it takes lots of hard work to achieve it.

If you would like to read about Maslow and the pyramid go to:
http://web.utk.edu/~gwynne/maslow.HTM

http://chiron.valdosta.edu/whuitt/col/regsys/maslow.html

Hi Jamie, Thank u so much for this.. u hit it right on the ball when u posted this.. omg i have been feeling all these feeling that u wrote.. i cry for no reason, i bargain with myself and say ok, what could possibly happen if i eat just a minusical bite of this.. then guilt comes in and feelings that i didnt go through this surgery to cheat.. i had 30 yrs to cheat.. enough is enough... i feel starvedddd and want to eat.. even good things, but it gets stuck and i vomit.

omg ur so right with all these feeling im feeling, anger, guilt, sadness, depression, crying jaggs, im so tired and sleepy, i want the kids to leave me alone, to stop giving me looks that say, i did this on myself!. The sadness i see in my hubby's eyes when he see's me struggling.

i know ppl would get mad at this post of mine, but this is me, this is how i feel. for the 1st time i felt that YOU understood me.

Im not discrediting others and their wonderful weightloss, and their happiness with their RNY, but... im not happy with it. But as everyone said, i need to give it time. 1 mo is too early to judge.
hopefully when some more time goes by, i will feel grateful, and happy with this RNY. My children will have their, happy, carefree playful momma back. And my hubby wont look at me with sad eyes anymore.

some ppl wont understand me.. but from the culture where i coem from.. this RNY is abig NO-no and i have to keep it a secret that only my hubby knows. So u ppl are the only support system i have after my hubby.

Thanks for understanding me, and giving me this insight, im glad ppl understand exactly how im feeling.

Be well....it is sad you feel unable to share your life with those around you (and decision to have RNY)...our happiness mainly comes from relationships IMHO and our unhappiness as well.

This shame will surely not be helpful to you on the journey, I am glad you haveus online don't get me wrong but I know how challenging lack of support can be in relationships, it is one factor I screen for preop, not to say it disqualifies those preop if their friends are against it but the literature and my experience with fokks online/in person support groups is they struggle and at times do not do as well longterm...some break out of the shame and send it to who deserves it (others for judging us)..We are the harshes critics sometimes taking on others shame...be well. i hope someday you are able to release the shame, give it back and be empowered by yur deciion..in your own time! Hugs until then keep on being authentic!!!!!!!!!!

Some folks break out of the shame and let it go, giving it to the rightful owners (others) and stand tall with their decisi

Hi. I understand the frustration you're having as well as the doubts and regrets.  I also looked at DS'rs and wondered why would anyone choose RNY, why did I.  I spent the first 7 - 8 weeks having difficulty with keeping anything more then mushie foods down.  I have a daughter that started the process shortley after I did and she gave up. She said that she'd rather be fat then sick all of the time.  I'm now about 3 1/2 months out and I feel very normal.  Very rarely do I feel ill. When I do the majority of the time it is because I went too long without eating and then I eat too fast and make myself ill.  I've been able to go out to eat since the 3rd week (I had an egg that day).  If my family wants fast food I have chili at Wendy's, at BK or McDonalds I opt for a grilled chicken and eat only the chicken (and usually not even all of it) at Taco Bell I get beans and cheese.  For meals I try to cook normal meals for the family but choose menus that have something I can eat even if I have to modify my serving slightly.  We eat a lot of pasta and sauce. I make my own sauce so on nights that we have this I eat the meatballs or meatsauce with some ricotta cheese. 
It's not an easy process and very frustrating at times.  My biggest downfall are my vitamins. I'm having a hard time with my calcium and D and at last check I was low.  I think I may have found a solution with the chewable wafers (they arrived last night).  I'm sure in a few months you'll be much happier with your choice and your children will be too.  I'm down 83 lbs total and my grandson who I'm raising is much happier now that nana can climb on the playground equipment with him.
Try to reassure yourself and your children that this is just temporary and you'll be feeling better then ever in no time.  You may need to see someone professionally. That can never be a bad thing.
Best of luck.

Cece.. you are so on the $$ GF.. I looked into WLS 5 years ago and at that time it wasn't right for me... But last year, things were different and my mind was made up. I went forward never looking back, accepting my decision and the trials and tribulations as I encounted them. Now don't get me wrong, the first few weeks were wretched learning to how survive with my new tool.. Learning which foods I personally could and could not tolerate and mind you my list is long... A few examples include chinese (it must be the sauce as I was trying chicken and broccholi), high fatty foods like sausage (Memorial Day... oh what a memory.. never again will I have my mother's sausage and peppers).. NSA ice cream.. can you say dump like i've never dumped before.. Sugars... Oi've.. Only 8 frozen yogurt (how I would kill for a little ice cream this summer).. But now I know and when I come across a food I haven't tried before I take a couple small bites and chew the smack out of them. I can now tell within 2 bites if something is or is not going to agree with me. If not, I move on and add it to my mental list.

Here's the kicker... as much as want to test our own limits and try foods that we may have previosly enjoyed (some of which probably got us where we are today).. the staff at Dr. Clarke's office and the Nuts at Ellis do know what their talking about. When I follow their rules.. High low fat proteins, high veggies, little carbs (only what is found naturally in foods), no processed foods and ABSOLUTELY NO pasta, rice or bread... Things are good.. When I stray and want that dessert, or want that pasta, or want that sauage, I will pay dearly for it later.. It's all my choice.. So basically I take each day as it comes knowing there will be good and bad days and move forward... Would I have done this again.. Absolutely.. because when I made the decision it was the right time and the right decision for me.

Rome wasn't built in a day.. and neither were we.. Take life as it comes at you 1 day at a time.

I wanst dissing the DS at all, just saying what they told me at the seminar, they do not do many, if any at all at Ellis.  Anyways, you are a month out, and I had the worst time as well... I puked so much, hated it.  My problem was learning to slow down...everything I ate came back up cause I ate to fast... and I swear that once I was 8 weeks out things got so much easier.  More things stayed down, and I have only puked a few times since them and I am now 16 weeks.  I only puke when I eat what I am not supposed to like SF ice cream or frozen yogurt or bread...I learn the hard way.  I so hope your tool begins to work for you like it finally did for me...I swear I hated eating or even thinking of it because it was more of a chore than anything...but life is so good now....I hope things turn around for you too :)

Thank u Kristy. I eat real slow, so the vomiting isnt that.. my prob is that i guess i havent found any foods to agree with me, except cream of wheat and hot green tea.  im lactose intolorant, so most foods , soft foods , are a no-no for me. But im trying, so.... i will posts more, and i cant wait to be 8 wks post -op

ok i have been thinking about you and again i know im pre op so i have no clue how you are feeling bUT....
maybe you shoudl go back to the psychologist. Maybe this is more of a head game than you realize. I know you have had a really hard time and  maybe due to that your mind is telling you everything will make you sick.

Sound crazy maybe but it cant hurt right?????