My Journey ends

I just cancelled EVERYTHING!

Celvelnad clinic told me they'd work on me then threw up roadblocks.  They think that I have unlimited time to spend with them.  They are wasting my precious vacation time.  Now I will not have enough for my surgery and recovery.

They wanted me to have a TIPS procedure.  They drill a hole through your liver to relieve portal hypertension.  While this will make surgery less risky, I'd have spend at LEAST 3 days there to have it done. (4-5 days of vacation time)  That will leave me with 9 days vacation left.  and 5-7 I'd have to spend there for the pre and post surgery stuff (since I live more than 2 hours away, I can't leave until the doc clears me at clinic the following week!)

That would leave me with 3-4 work days of recovery left before I'd be able to return to work.

So, I told them to F*** off.  I'm not doing any of it.  
 
So my journey comes to an end.  I'm going off my diet that made me miserable.  Someone upstairs is telling me I'm to be fat and die young.  So be it.

I dont think you should cancel everything...take everything you done and find another hospital that is more accessable to you that way you can remain committed...you did all the work already why give up!

I've already been declined by 7 surgeons across NY state.  This one said yes, then throws up roadblocks.  I guess it's his way of second guessing himself and saying no.

TWO years I've been on this journey.  Tired, giving up.  The flashing neon sign with the kalxon horn blaring is telling me something.  Guess I'm destined to die young and fat.

what kind of insurnce do you have....why wont they let you

What about short term Disiblity?  I was saving up all my vacation/sick time as well so I could take 3-4 weeks off as needed.   Then my HR told me that with short term, that I would only have to take one week during the waiting period that short term doesn't cover.  And then it kicks in.. Granted it's only like 50 percent of your wage capped at $170 per week..  Then HR is allowing me to take my vacation time in hour incruments so that way I'll only need a few hours a day added to the $170 to make up my full pay check..  so really one vacation day at work will actually cover about 3 days of time off.   

I looked into it at my company.  Was told I was not elegible for it because this is an ELECTIVE procedure.  If it was unforseen or out of my control, then they would cover it.  Seeing as how it's elective, I "should have planned better".

Also, $170 would JUST cover one night's hotel stay - might be able to buy a bottle of water with the left over.  The last trip out there, for 3 days, was over $800!!!

I'm not an expert by far.  but from what I've been told and the research I have done.  Short term is a NY State mandate.. All Employers have no choice but to offer it to you.. elective surgery or not.  I also have some supplemental disiblity insurance that i've been paying $8.00 a week for out of my pay check.. only to find out that they don't cover electives..     But as for New York State.. there isn't any reason you shouldn't get it..   I'd do some research on that before giving totally up..  Yeah it's not very much, but it does help you extend the time off and not come out too far behind.

Just did a quick search and found this..
http://www.directaccessbenefits.com/Employee_Disab.html

As long as your company is in NY state they can't say no to the short term for this surgery.

I don't think anyone is trying to tell you that you're going to be fat and die young.. I think you're determination is being tested to see just how committed you are to your new life style.. Embrace it... I'm sure you will do just about anything to have the surgery that will save your life.

Remember these words..

One night I dreamed a dream.
I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.

When the last scene of my life shot before me I looked back at the footprints in the sand. There was only one set of footprints. I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life. This always bothered me and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.

"Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I'm aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I need You most, You leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."

Yeah your employer doesnt have a choice in the matter, also check with the hospital, sometimes they have a deal with local hotels for their patients. If this is your last chance then you need to decide whats the most important to you. The job will only be good to you if your alive to work it, the bills wont be an issue if you live long enough too pay them off tough times call for tough choices but you know that when push comes to shove you are the most important and you make the decisions. The most importtant thing for you right now is to get on that table and start reversing your health  issues

I am so sorry that you have hit this roadblock again! I was so excited for you when you told us you had found a surgeon willing to help! You have been through so much & worked so hard to find someone willing to help you & it sucks that this is the outcome now after getting your hopes up!!

Please don't give up on yourself & life! I know right now it looks you're doomed & there's no way out but you have shown you have so much determination, courage & strength in the battles you fought to get this far if you could only find a way to channel some of that energy into continuing a weightloss program of sorts - maybe not the radical one you've been on but modify it a bit. Maybe wls isn't in your cards but you have shown you can do anything you set your mind to!!! Please think about it before destroying all you've accomplished thus far!!! We will be here for you regardless of surgery - we can help you & encourage you - we don't want you to give up & die at a young age!!! Take a break if you need to but please don't give up!!!

Cece