Calming my fears..??

Hello everyone!     I've been snooping around this website for a looooong time now and decided that I should talk to some of you that already had the surgery.. I've been looking into the surgery for a good chunk of time (around 2 years), im almost 24 and 350lbs.. i've been overweight my whole life, im always yo yo dieting, lose a couple lbs-then gain back 20... everything that i try to do always seems to fail and i really think that this will work for me! the only thing that is holding me back is the fact that it's surgery. I have never had any surgery, I even backed out of having my tonsils removed! Im just scared that if I dont do this now I am going to end up alot worse off. I dont want to have to deal everything associated with obesity.. I have talked with my doctor about it and she recommends me doing this.. I just need to take that step to do it. I know it's a life changing thing and im aware of that and fine with that.. It's the unknown that is holding me back... Sorry if im just ranting, but i love to talk with someone..

Someone once said "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself"....he obviously never faced bariatric surgery. Fear comes from a lack of knowledge. I am 28 and WAS 541 at my highest weight. I am 4 weeks out (I think) and am down 60 lbs from post-op. I DID have setbacks...I DO have setbacks. I DID have complications. I AM overcoming them. I survived. I highly reccommend you find a local support group, stay around and ask as many questions you have or want or can think of...and thirdly, I highly reccommend you start compiling a list of pros and cons of the surgery.

I understand completely about the fear of surgery.  I put off having the surgery for years because I was afraid.  Don't get me wrong...it wasn't  the most pleasant experience of my life...but, I was the best thing I could have ever done.  I am down 117 pounds...10 to go to my personal goal...in only 12 months.  You are young...if you decide on the surgery it will change your life BIG time.  This website has great people...we are here for you with any questions....GOOD LUCK! Rosemary

The thought of surgery does not scare me.  The thought of what might happen if I DON'T have the surgery scares me.

I have been through 3 doctors who have declined me.  My current one is undecided right now.  My gut says he'll say no.   I WISH I could say my only fear was the surgery, but my biggest fear is not being able to find someone to do it.  Do it now before a major healths issues arrise like with me.  When they DO come, you'll wish you had already done the surgery.  Trust me, this I can speak from experience.  I'm extremely risky because of complications due to a liver problem.  The liver problem was caused by weight, diet and some genetics. 

Go for it while you can!

 

Call Dr. O'Malley at Highland Hospital in Rochester NY.  That is where I had mine.  He might be able to help you.  If you need the number, write me and I can give it to you.  Good luck.  Debbi

Oh, honey, please don't put off making a decision that may save your life!  I'm 53.  I wish I did this surgery years ago. I could have done so many more things and enjoyed so many more activities.  I had the RNY.  I first thought that I wanted the lapband but my doc said since I gain weight so easily and with my depression that wasn't the best option.  I have had so many surgeries. Each one I was afraid because I thought I wasn't going to wake up.  This one I was afraid.  Don't get me wrong, everything was not easy, the liquid stage just about made me more bonkers!  I am the type of person that loves the taste of food.  I missed that terribly the first couple of weeks.  One big thing after surgery is that I never had to take any pain meds.  It was great that for the first few weeks of the liquid stage that my family didn't eat near me  (I really don't know what I would have done if I even smelled a cheeseburger).  I'm on the pureed stage (more food choices).  I'm looking forward to coming months of me "disappearing".  This site is wonderful.  There are so many many helpful people that you will meet.  No matter what type of ? you might have there is someone that has done that, conquered it, or has a great suggestion for it.  I have met so many great people here.  Good luck with your decision.  Think long and hard about it.  Make a list.  One side that you CAN'T do because you are big, the other side what you would like to do when you aren't (on my list of things that I would like to do is putting on socks with ease - yeah sounds crazy but it's there!)  Good luck.  Let all of us know what your decision is.  Debbi

I think we've all been through what your feeling.  I NEVER had surgery, never even had a baby.  I was PETRIFIED and balled my way walking into O.R. the day of my surgery.  I was comforted by the fact that either way (live or die) things would be okay.  I had a friend who had the surgery and I had a doctor that I was confident with.  Looking back 19 months today, I feel it was the best decision I could have made.  There is nothing that I miss, the aches and pains, the depression, the feeling of isolation and the way people made me feel invisible.  I can put my shoes on, don't have to worry if they sit me at a table or a booth in a restaurant, feel comfortable behind the wheel of a car and sleep better than I have at any time in my life.  That being said, I would not hesitate to recommend this surgery to you.  You ARE heading for further heart ache and health issues if you continue on this path.  The surgery only provides the tool, you must do the rest.  I think the fear comes from your divorcing your relationship with food.  Do not be afraid.  Food does not go away from your life permanently, eventually, in time, you will eat and have choices.  You will learn what agrees and doesn't agree with you.  You will NOT miss food FOREVER!!  You will lose your taste for certain foods.  Difficult wrap your head around this I know.  I never thought I would lose my desire for ice cream...but after a few nauseaus moments from eating it....I have!!  I have found substitutes, tasteful and enjoyable substitutions....so don't worry.  Food will not disappear from your life, you will eat again, only in smaller portions and be satisfied!  Imagine that?  Dream it!  You know you want this, you have taken the first step by researching it and us.  You are on your way, just keep walking this path and discover the new life this surgery will give you.  Good luck!!  We all wish you the best in your decision.

 

Thank you so much to all of you that responded.. You all have some really good points. I live in the Capital Distric and have been researching the Bariatric Center at Ellis hospital.. I'm thinking Im just gonna go ahead and go to the seminar.. Has anyone had the surgery at Ellis Hospital, do you recommend Ellis or AMC??

I had surgery 7 months ago at Ellis with Dr Clarke! I highly reccmmend him!! You will find pros & cons to both programs so what you should do is try to attend both seminars & get to know their programs & see what makes you feel more at ease!! It is ok to say no to one dr & go to another if you want to!! I did that... I went to the AMC seminar 5 yrs ago & was not comfortable with them at all!! What works for one doesn't always work for another!! It's your body & you need to take control of it!! Don't let the fear of surgery hold you back from getting your life back! I have never had surgery prior to this either & I can tell you even though I should've been scared I wasn't!! I don't know if it was the Dr I chose; the staff around me; all of the research I did or just the sheer fact I was more than ready for this but nobody was more shocked at my calmness thna me!!!  You can do this!! Make a list of all of the pros & cons of having the surgery & you will see the pros far outweigh the cons!! Do your reseacrh & ask a lot of questions!! Good luck & please keep us informed!!  Cece

It is so good that you are a little scared and want to know as much as you  can before making your decision to go ahead with this surgery.  It is a life changeing, life altering thing and should not be taken lightly as so  many do.  It takes alot of research about the surgery, about the post op care and espically about the person you are going to allow to do the surgery on you.  It took me years of research and years of changing my mind back and forth to  make sure it was right for me and the right time in my life for it.  As as many questions as you can think of, check as many websites as you can find and be completly informed going into this surgery and you will be a complete success.  THis site has been awsome for me over my two and half years of this joiurney....actually i became a memeber more like 2001 when i first decided on researching the surgery.  Didnt actually have my surgery till hallowween 2005......we are here for you....