In need of a sense of humor

I have decided to write a 'journal' with quotes, personal stories, and humor.  I had my surgery four days ago and I am struggling to sit still.  Normally I always have ten things in the air so this idea of sitting still is killing me.  Right now my journal is about how to create changes in taste, sound, smell, shape, color, texture, and presentation using clear fluids.  If anyone is interested in learning what I came up with, just let me know. The reason I'm writing this post is because I'm not very good with humor.  I can laugh with the best of them but when it comes to being creative, I struggle.  So I could use your advice because if I don't laugh right now then I might shake the life out of my Carnation Instant Breakfast Without Added Sugar!  Please answer the question below; you know how this kind of question works: How many weight loss surgery patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I hope you can help  me out here.  I need some humor. Carol D

5... one to hold the bulb....and four to turn the ladder

I LOVE it, Tim!  It gave me a real chuckle! 

Hi Carol,       So glad glad to hear that you had your surgery. You waited a long time, you crossed your T's and dotted all the I's a long time ago. You will find it was all worth the wait. Now to your question..... This is what I think, YOU are the light bulb because you saw the light to make youself healthy... To screw in the light bulb it will take ALL your friends and family to surpport you on your journey. You have my phone # call to chat...    Jean

Thanks, Jean, I needed to hear that from someone who knows what I've gone through.  Fortunately I have a very supportive group of friends and family.  I am feeling well.  Yesterday was a little tough as I realized 2 weeks of clear liquids would take longer than I thought, when I'm home "recuperating."  When I'm busy that kind of thing wouldn't be too hard.  I'm trying to plan something each day that is fun.  I'm also trying to get my walking in but I've only walked around my house so far looking at my plants.  I'm hoping to have my first real walk today.  I'll give you a call soon and chat.  I would like to go down to Albany for the meeting, maybe on the 27th (is the meeting on a Tuesday?).  Maybe we can get a group to carpool down. Take care, Carol D

Great idea about the journal...I wish I would have kept one with all the ups and downs (mostly ups).  Good luck! Rosemary

I'm not a journal kind of person even though I love writing (I just don't like to read myself think, if you know what I mean).  It's not a traditional journal where I keep track of things.  It's more like a book of ways to celebrate this new journey I've begun.  Thanks for the well wishes. Carol D

None because they all tried to staple it in

Oh, what a good one!  I had a double chuckle!!  I have to say that with all this glue on the front of me I'm hoping it's super glue.

1 while all the others sit poolside sipping their broth and snickering about the pool boy...