HELP ,I need everyones advice !!!

I am reaching out to all,please tell me if you have had this problem.My life is full of wonderful friends and with having this surgery has made me realize who are good friends. I have one friend who I do allot of stuff with we are both "fluffy".She has never really supported me during this whole process and is verbal about her disapproval of this life change. I have told her that this is something I have thought about for years and I would not change my mind at this point. During my medifast stage she would say can't you stay on the medifast and not go though surgery.The night before my surgery every person that I consider a friend called,except for her.She has shown no concern for me post-op and is now kind of cold towards me.I really value her friendship,I can't lie and not say I am disappointed in her behavior,I am. How do I get over this and go forward and keep a friend.

My advice is to keep being the friend you have been...and always leave the "light on" for her to pick up where she left off. She is no doubt jealous of you and your ability to lose the weight...and is insecure that she wont be accepted anymore because you will find "thin friends"...give her time....and don't hold bitterness in your heart towards her. Forgive her. Congratulations though on your journey.

Michelle, I can understand what you are talking about, I have been best friends since 7th grade with someone, who has become very distant to me since the surgery.   She did call the night before however she was more concerned with the fact we were getting a major snow storm.  Anyhow, my thought is she will come around as will your friend.   I do call her from time to time just to stay in touch and it makes me the bigger person (actually not anymore I am now smaller than her - ha ha), if she does not come around well you tried and will go forward with your new begininng and new friends. 

Life is just to short!

Take care and be well

 

my immediate impression is that either she thinks she'll lose you as a friend once your smaller or she resents you for the surgery because she cant have it or is too scared to do it herself. i would have an open conversation with her and if you lose her then she was never really your friend to begin with. Friends would be there for your no matter what,

This is one issue I haven't had to deal with yet. I cleaned house a few yrs back & got rid of a lot of "toxic friends" so all of the ones I have now are true friends & support me no matter what I do!! I know they all were worried about me & my health & many kept quiet until I had the surgery & finally "came clean" so to speak & said how proud & relieved they were that I finally got myself to the right place that I could take a step this big. I am lucky however I do know that there are people out there that are going through the same thing you are. My suggestion would be to talk to her. Have an honest open discussion - even if you are the only one talking & do it face to face if at all possible. Tell her how much you value her friendsip & how much you want to remain friends but be honest about how she is making you feel & let her know that she can tell you anything & you want to know what's bothering her so you 2 can work it out! I am thinking that maybe if you 2 were "fluffy" as you said she might be feeling a bit insecure (or even jealous)... she might be worried that you won't "want" her once you become skinny... like you'll be too good for her! Put it all out there on the table & leave the ball in her court. If she values your friendship as much as you do her's then she'll come around... it may take time but it will give her something to think about & maybe she'll be honest with herself & you!! Good luck & don't give up on her yet! Have the talk & see where it goes!! Keep me posted!! Cece

I think your friend is resentful because you are taking control of your life.  Give it time...she might come around...if not...don't blame yourself and move on...you need supportive friends around you.  Good Luck! Rosemary

Thank you everyone for your advice,I have taken everyones suggestions to heart.After speaking with Jim (jdm511,my husband) and getting all your mail I have decided to continue to be the best friend I can be.Maybe you are all right and she is having a difficult time with this and she might come around in time.If she does not then it's her loss.To forgive a wrong that was done to you,makes you the better person.You have all made me aware that maybe she is having a difficult time with my choice of a healthy lifestyle and that is only something she can fix.I can only wait for her to come around some day. Thank you again,michelle