SUPPORT GROUPS & Personal Accountability!

It happens occasionally that I open an email to read these words, "I guess I am just one of those people who the surgery is not going to help." These defeated hopeless words break my heart. Nobody should feel that dispirited after taking the extreme measure of weight loss surgery to fight their life threatening morbid obesity.

Sometimes people are defeated by physical problems or complications after surgery. Sometimes they do not receive adequate care and instruction from the surgeon who performed the surgery. And sometimes they simply don't take responsibility for making the surgery work, they just hope for the best and expect the surgery to do all the work. We cannot always control the first two defeats. We can always control the last defeat by taking full responsibility for making the surgery work.

Ayn Rand, the noted 20th century philosopher wrote, "The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." It is with this kind of hell-bent determination many WLS pre-ops fight their insurance providers to have the surgery. The same grit determination must be employed after surgery. If we are to achieve a healthy life we absolutely must fight like a mad dog against everything that made us obese in the first place. We must take control and own responsibility for our success.

Recently at LivingAfterWLS we framed our "Empowerment Philosophy", the creed of ethics to which we subscribe. In part it reads, "LivingAfterWLS believes that success with weight loss surgery, and in life, can be found when we focus on inner strength rather than inner weakness. As recovering morbidly obese people we have often been made to feel weak for our illness. We are not weak. We have inner resources that make us beautiful unique beings with intelligence, talent and love to share with the world.

"The LivingAfterWLS philosophy empowers individuals to recognize and harness their own inner strengths. The first step to personal empowerment is personal responsibility. LivingAfterWLS holds individuals accountable for making their weight loss surgery successful. When individuals take responsibility they feel liberated and motivated to invest personal equity in their success."

Think about how self-sabotage behavior causes feelings of defeat and a downward spiral of discouragement from which there seems no escape. I recognize people in this state of despair when I read email that says, "I can't stop myself from eating all the wrong things," or "The weight is coming back on" or "I never believed this would really work for me." These people are locked in a hopeless prison cell, they are not free.

But think about the freedom personal responsibility brings. John Galt said, "The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it's yours. But to win it requires total dedication and a total break with the world of your past."

A total break with the world of your past. That means escaping the prison of behaviors that caused morbid obesity. Do not return there. Say goodbye and good riddance. Galt continued, "Fight for the value of your person. Fight for the virtue of your pride. . . Fight with the radiant certainty and the absolute rectitude of knowing that yours is the morality of life and yours is the battle for any achievement, any value, any grandeur, any goodness, any joy that has ever existed on this earth."

Galt was not talking about weight loss surgery. He was taking about life. But for me, weight loss surgery and life are entwined. Weight loss surgery gave me life and now I own the responsibility to fight for that life using WLS as a powerful tool. By taking ownership I am empowered and freed. Today is the day. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Today is the day we must take personal responsibility and become liberated and motivated to invest personal equity in our own weight loss surgery success.

How do I get empowered when I feel so hopeless?

The LivingAfterWLS philosophy states, "Personal empowerment is not borne of the statement "I am empowered." It is a state of mind cultivated with education, thought and validation." Here are three keys to achieving personal empowerment.

Rationality: Ayn Rand said, "To know one's own desires, their meaning and their costs requires the highest human virtue: Rationality." Loosely defined rationality is the logical pursuit of goals. So cultivate some rationality. Face the fact that morbid obesity is a disease that when treated with weight loss surgery can be controlled. But the burden of that control is not on the surgeon, the insurance company, the spouse or the child. The burden is on the patient. Accept the rationality and embrace the burden. Empower yourself to become a WLS success story.

Productiveness: Engage actively in making life after surgery successful. Become an information sponge. Learn about nutrition, healthy cooking and eating and physical and mental fitness. Pursue knowledge and living with a zealous heart. Celebrate your chance to make right an unhealthy life by becoming fanatical about good living both of body and spirit. If you feel defeated then start today productively taking control of your post-WLS life. It’s not too late.

Pride: Pride refers to a strong sense of self-respect, a refusal to be humiliated as well as joy in accomplishments. Give yourself permission to be proud of your decision, proud of your success, proud of your soul and your appearance. This is difficult for recovering morbidly obese people because we are better skilled at humility and self-degradation. Stand tall and walk proudly. Share a smile with a stranger. Cultivate your self-confidence because you have earned the right to be proud.

Are these three keys easy to accomplish? No. Can you have them overnight? No. But any day that you empower yourself in pursuit of personal ownership and success is a day far better than one of torment and self-loathing. On days of empowerment you will speak aloud, “The question is not who is going to let me fail; it is who is going to stop me from succeeding?”

LivingAfterWLS believes that success with weight loss surgery, and in life, can be found when we focus on inner strength rather than inner weakness. As recovering morbidly obese people we have often been made to feel weak for our illness. We are not weak. We have inner resources that make us beautiful unique beings with intelligence, talent and love to share with the world. The LivingAfterWLS philosophy empowers individuals to recognize and harness their own inner strengths.

The first step to personal empowerment is personal responsibility. LivingAfterWLS holds individuals accountable for making their weight loss surgery successful. When individuals take responsibility they feel liberated and motivated to invest personal equity in their success.

Personal empowerment is not borne of the statement "I am empowered." It is a state of mind cultivated with education, thought and validation. The LivingAfterWLS support group program and online resources are actively engaged in the pursuit of personal empowerment for all neighbors. The following core values support this philosophy:

Ø      Socialization & Culture

Ø      Social Equality

Ø      Education & Understanding

Ø      Health & Wellness

Ø      Information & Communication

Ø      Opportunity & Sustainability

Ø      LivingAfterWLS is built on the strength of relationships

Ø      LivingAfterWLS is inclusive: everyone is welcome and encouraged to participate

Ø      LivingAfterWLS management is accountable to those who find safe haven here

Ø      LivingAfterWLS is at all times flexible, adaptable, intelligent and creative