Weight loss 3 months post op?????

Okay, ive been feeling like a failure lately-so i thought i would come to the experts.  Im a little over 3 months post-op and have lost about 52 pounds. Im feeling like it should be more! I know i should be thankful for what ive lost but theres that voice deep down that keeps telling me it should be more.  I have tons of clothes that are too big, but im afraid to throw them out for fear this is all that im going to loose!!! Any suggestions?Am i doing ok with the weight loss, any input?Happy holidays and happy New Year to Everyone!Michelle

Your weight loss is great for 3 months out.    I know it is very hard and I am just as guilty as the next person, but we can not compare ourselves to everyone else.   We are all individuals and we all loose at different rates.    You have to remind yourself that you have probably never lost 52 lbs in three months in your whole life.   Give yourself a pat on the back, a big hug and look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself what a great job your doing.    You should be so proud of your accomplishment.   Keep up the great work! Sally

Thank you so much for the compliments, i guess sometimes it means more coming from someone whos been there.  Im going to try and stay positive and focused and get throught this!!!Michelle

We all will hit thoses peaks. 50+ pounds in 3 weeks is great. Take your measurements. Tht might help your state o fmind. Look over your diet enough protein, water, exercise. Your body may just need some catching up. Be proud of your self. I hope at 3 months I am as close to 50 as you are. Pick up something that is 50 pounds. realize what that really means.

I think that's awesome, sweetie!  I pay more attention to the clothing rather than the pounds off the scale!  I can fluctuate 3 - 5 pounds in a day.  Don't be so hard on yourself.  You're doing great!  Keep it up!

xo

Keep up the terrific work. I'll tell you what. Save the largest jeans that you own and donate the rest to charity because you won't be needing them anymore. You'll want to keep the jeans to compare it to the size you'll be when you hit goal. Think positive. You are doing more than fine.

Michelle: Hello, thank you for sharing your current challenges with us, how brave of you to put it out there, beleive me you are probably saying what most of us have felt or will feel are are feeling right now! 

Honesty and accountability to self and others is the one necessary step in many toward recovery  I believe. OH YES HAVE I EXPERIENCED THIS!! I had to actually get the scale out of my house a few times along the journey.

 

 

For myself the scale and obsession and false notion that the scale would make everything perfect is a mere example of how my inner wounded child cries, one who was/is attempting to find happiness/peace/safety/control by using food./scale as a way to soothe emotions such as: fear, loneliness, sadness, anger, shame, guilt, hurt. When this happens for me I look within myself asking what am I FEELING and why? I just know for myself the road of my destructive emotional eating/scale obsession/perfectionistic thinking as a dangerous and unhealthy/unfulfilling one that leads me further down a path of self-destruction/hate and regain eventually!!!. Although the tool is awesome the bypass lessens in its support of my lifestyle by 6-7 months, leaving me a small window of opportunity to build my foundation for health. The choice now for me (at 5+ yurs) is to build on the foundation I laid all that time ago w/ habits, as well as reinforce it with healthy choices and positive self-talk. I decided I needed to stop hating my body and love it as it is today and know I am loveable at this moment.... I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT ----> Happiness and success will NEVER EVER come from an external source (person, object, number on the scale). It can and will ONLY come from internal self-discovery and love. Listening to my BODY is key, my natural physical hunger, my body knows and will not let me down....When I take on the helpless victim personality and have overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, helpless and out of control I learned that I am trying to control an external thing (i.e. food) as a means to control my inner turmoil.. For me these feelings spill over into an addiction food (could be alcohol, drugs, sex etc for others). Either in a way that is restricting (counting calories, carbs, watching the scale daily) or permitting (like the overeating out of control binge eating you have described).

 

 

I am wrapping my brain around: ’DIETS NEVER WORK/THE SCALE DOESN'T MEAN A THING’, they always lead me to feel/act on to a binge/sabotage/unhappiness....Over/under/controlled eating is a symptom of the internal out of control feelings we have...We want to be happy and healthy yet we can not if we continue to punish ourselves w/ food (by restricting or permitting)..We (I) can move out of the victim role, and heal and thrive! It takes work to look within, feel our feelings, see how we are involved in areas of our lives that reinforce our victim personality, healing the inner child, seeing how that hurt has permeated our current lives/personality and relationships w/ food and others. Having the healthy adult in us allow balance and growth and protection for the hurt child, so we can be safe and not need to control our food or have those emotions spill over into an external control that will never fix the internal out of control feeling. Only working on the internal self-talk, emotions can do that. This is my current journey as years 3-5 for me had been quite different than years 1-3. So for me it is time to look at the deep inner child work I never have done, the emotional issues because it is my choice and I choose no longer to be a victim and I choose today to love me as I am. This is what a good therapist who understands WLS and eating disorders can help, as can reading, support groups, etc. I WISH I had started the emotional work preop!!!!

 

 

NOW I am not perfect, for me to see things in others is far easier for me than seeing it in myself. I am on a personal journey for wellness and I am only offering what is working for me, diets never worked because they were an external control that could never heal my internal self...I hope this makes sense and it not taken negatively. It is my way of letting u know what is working for ME and maybe it can reframe your thoughts and work for you!

 

 

Sometimes we consume our lives with food, thinking about what we can and can not have, when we can eat or should eat, how much, how often, how it should be cooked, when to buy it, how much, etc that we occupy so much time and do not even realize that we have no time left to feel (the point) in an addiction, it takes over us so we can forget us and what we are scared/fearful of feeling/being.

 

 

Think of today as just another NEEDED step in your million mile journey to health and long-term success; which WLS is one of the million as well *it is not the destination*! Which we mourn long after we have it! Those that have goals that are health focused and functionally focused do the best (vs. those that are scale or weight/number focused). I am such a firm believer in not allowing the scale (or hunkametal that it is) to rule or dictate ones life/thoughts/feelings any longer, I agree we want to lose wt but gaining our health and ability to function in life are far more important than any number the scale can read; otherwise if it never reads the number we think, others say, a chart suggests we fail and that is simply not true!!! Most of our lives we have set RIGID, UNREALISTIC WEIGHT LOSS GOALS for ourselves that are BOTH UNATTAINABLE and CHRONICALLY DISAPPOINTING and lead to DEVASTATION & the slippery slope of self-sabotage...Review the UNDERLYING lifestyle change such as exercise, food choices, self-awareness/monitoring, avoidance of emotional eating, adherence to living self responsibly in a CONSISTENT way that is the foundation to our long-term success. For me I keep telling myself daily that***THE GOAL SHOULD NEVER BE A NUMBER*** These choices are what makes WLS work long-term and not be another failed diet attempt (and believe me it is for MANY! So I use that fear to keep plugging along)...It is a wonderful tool to build the foundation and sadly one that has ways to be defeated/broken down as we all can discover (grazing etc). Consider writing all the 'supports' of diet/exercise/lifestyle changes, coping skills etc for non-emotional eating (i.e through individual therapy, support groups) you have worked on, now where do you need to add reinforcements? AS it can collapse if the WLS tool if not used properly/consistently can be defeated w/o the extra supporting structures...Like having only one wall of your basement in place before putting the house on top.. what happens? it can crumble w/ the weight of the house (your life/the worlds challenges), but if you have the 4 walls in place (food choices/planning/healthy and consistent choices, exercise, self awareness/monitoring, support); then the WLS tool can just reinforce that foundation and make the house stand strong for a long long time! :-) Your tool will be back soon, but the tool to work on now may be the brain! For me it is anyways!

 

 

I have been taking some much VERY NEEDED time for myself and wellness. I have needed to take care of me and stop avoiding that as I have when I take care of everyone else! I am understanding and learning that loving ourselves is not selfish, that I need to feel loved inside so I have love to give others; if I continued not taking care of me and only having self hate and anger then that is all I would have to give others....We are all learning and growing, keep growing and learning with us here!

 

 

I have been using mediation, positive affirmations, reading, groups, individual work to work on my recovery, and accepting my imperfections!

Here are a few references for you if interested....

These are guidelines i am working on fitting into my life..not rules which are rigid, but guidelines which are flexible! I have 3X5 cards I take w/ me and place at different strategic spots such as fridge, computer to remind me!

 

 

EATING GUIDELINES

(*To avoid emotional or unconscious eating)

 

 

1. Eat when you are hungry

2. Eat sitting down in a calm environment *NOT THE CAR!

3. Eat w/o distractions, including radio, TV, newspapers, books, magazines, intense anxiety producing conversations or music.

4. Eat only what your body wants.

5. Eat until satisfied.

6. Eat (with the intention of being) in full view of others.

7. Eat with enjoyment, gusto and pleasure.

© Geneen Roth

http://www.geneenroth.com/

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Daily Affirmations for Compulsive Eaters (Paperback)

by Susan Ward List Price: $7.95  ISBN: 1558740767  (*Avail on amazon and probably any bookstore!) I have used this yr after yr!

 

 

''It's Not about Food: Change Your Mind; Change Your Life; End Your Obsession with Food and Weight'' By: Carol Emery Normandi, Laurelee Roark $9.72 ISBN: 0399525025

 

 

''Life Is Hard, Food Is Easy : The 5-Step Plan to Overcome Emotional Eating and Lose Weight on Any Diet'' By: Linda Spangle $9.72 ISBN: 0895260573

 

 

''Choices: Taking Control of Your Life and Making It Matter'' (Paperback)

by Melody Beattie $10.17 ISBN: 0060507225

 

 

''The Language of Letting Go'' (Hazelden Meditation Series) (Paperback)

by Melody Beattie "This is a book of meditations..." ISBN: 0894866370 $11.53

 

 

''Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself'' (Paperback) by Melody Beattie ISBN: 0894864025 $10.85

 

 

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http://www.centerforholisticoptions.com/products.htm

I bought the Stress management, Body Image and self esteem CDs all are short and can be done even during lunch!

 

 

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Breaking Free from the Victim Trap $9.95

https://store.wellness-institute.org/Details.cfm?ProdID=36&category=6

An easy-to-read book on Healing Codependency by Diane Zimberoff, newly revised in 2004. (Softcover)

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Consider CODA meetings *if this is an issues for you* www.coda.org  for a meeting near you, of OA www.OA.org both can be great supports and are free for your recovery journey! Or if spiritual many larger churches may have groups, such as in my area the Pine Knolls church http://pineknolls.net/support_groups.htm has great support groups (Codependent, depression/anxiety, Women’s/Men’s, wt loss, etc)

 

 

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AND I am journaling almost daily my EMOTIONS...I guess my point is we al need a toolbox, and our success may be based on how many tools we have! Not any one thing works for recovery (the band, the RNY) therapy, support groups, meditation, journaling, exercise etc it is a combo of any one/all that assists and eases the journey I guess! Or at least that is HOW I SEE it! :-) Be well.

 

 

YOU most certainly are not alone!!! Consider the definition below for addiction and how it may for you *looking at the price you were willing to pay for a number on the scale (erosion of band and possible severe complications such as perforation of stomach etc* Consider seeing the food addiction is getting a strong grip on you...,I know it is what i needed to read in black and white to help me make different choices...

http://www.hms.harvard.edu/doa/html/whatisaddiction.htm

One simple model for understanding addiction is to apply the three Cs:

·Behavior that is motivated by emotions ranging along the Craving to Compulsion spectrum

·Continued use in spite of adverse consequences

·Loss of Control.

 

 

Feel free to write me off list if you have any other ??!

 

 

Take Care,

Jamie  PS some of my fav scale articles.. Be well HUGS!!! I adapted above as it is a common concern and have posted it before but worth it again as reminder to myself! THANKS AGAIN for your strength and honesty!!!!!!!!

 

Use Measurements Besides the ScaleWhat's So Motivating About Numbers Anyway? By Mike Kramer, Staff Writer http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_articles.asp?id=104

 

 

 Why The Scale Lies by Renee Cloe,

 

http://www.primusweb.com/fitnesspartner/library/weight/scale.htm

 

 

 

Ending Scale Obsession

 

http://www.southbeachdiet.com/public/dailydish/dd_20060515.asp

 

Do you weigh yourself every day? Or worry about even the slightest change in your weight? If you answered yes to either of these questions, you may be obsessing over the scale too much. This practice can be very discouraging if you're trying to maintain healthy habits.

 

In fact, your weight may change from day to day for many reasons. Shifts in water weight, constipation, and even the food you just ate can cause daily ups and downs that may register on the scale. These shifts can be misleading and worrisome if you don't understand them. For a more accurate measurement of your weight, you should only weigh yourself once each week and on the same scale every time — different scales may provide different readings. Or, instead, let the tightness of your belt be your guide. If your clothes fit better and you feel better, then you're getting healthier — even if the bathroom scale doesn't reflect it.

 

Ultimately, it's up to you to stop scale obsession. Weight loss takes time and you need to be patient. Remember, if you're following a healthy lifestyle plan like The South Beach Diet™, the extra pounds will come off — whether you step on the scale a hundred times a day or never at all.

 

[email protected]

 

 

 

 

Scale back on weighing in?

 

Dieters should think twice about how -- and how often -- they check their weight

 

Kimberly Hayes Taylor / The Detroit News

January 24, 2006

http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060124/LIFESTYLE02/601240395/1040/rss34&template=printart

 

 

Weighing in on the Scale

http://www.calorieking.com/library/article.php?path=13%2C66&art_id=749&printable=yes&noviews=yes

Pat Fiducia and Anna Delany, September 22nd, 2004

Michelle, You are doing great.  Just remember the body has to adjust.  At first I felt like I was on the slow track, but I am 7 months out and down 91 pounds..I am thrilled. Keep the faith! Rosemary

Michelle- First off Happy New Year to you , too. My advise to you at 3 months post op is  you shouldn't be worried about the scale this early out. Instead you should focus on exercising and eating right, two things that will help you out in the long run. Just wanted to let you know that  I am going on 5 years post op and I averaged  a weight lost of 15 pounds a month the first year. I ended up 25 pounds below my initial goal weight. The weight will come off. You are not only doing ok, but you are doing GREAT !!!! Donna open rny mar 18 2003 282/145/140

Thank you so much everyone for all the advise and encouragement.  I definitely need to be more aware of my eating, i have not been monitoring well. Im not going to eat past 8 pm and i need to eat 3 meals and 2 snacks.  Ive sort of been "grazing".  As far as the exercise i try to go 3 to 4 times a week but again i can improve.  Its a new year, and im going to make this tool work! Michelle