I Just Can't Get Past This.

I have really been working hard towards making this surgery a success and not touching any candy, carbs or anything else that I shouldn't. I get all of my carbs from legumes, fruit and other such things. Thanksgiving went off without a hitch and I made wise choices - even had mashed cauliflower instead of potatoes and mock rice pudding (thanks Maryellen!) for dessert. But....during Friday night , the pupster woke me up to go outside. One of my guests left vanilla ice cream in the freezer that was not even sugar free and I raided it. It was as if it were a magnet. Something inside me snapped and it was as if I were in a food frenzy trance. I had 2 cups. I can't even begin tell you how as ashamed of myself I am. Words can't describe. I feel like a failure and I just can't let go of this incident. I'm also alarmed by the fact that I had no ill effects from it at all. I am only 8 months out. How dare I blow this chance at healthy lifestyle. What was I thinking?  I woke up the next morning with a terrible, terrible guilt but I am back on track however I'm having a hard time forgiving myself. My "clean slate " is now blemished. Did anyone else ruin it this early out of WLS? Thanks for listening.

Diane sweetie, you ARE a success. One mistake does not a bad person make. The important thing is that you realize your behavior and you get right back to eating healthy.

Please do not beat yourself up over this. You are far too special to be giving yourself so much guilt.

Diane, Diane, Diane.... Firstly ....BIG HUG! We all make mistakes and learn from them. Heck: we even learn from other people's mistakes. Second: I know this sounds cliche but here it is: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift---that's why it's called the present. Remember that and cherish the gift of today! You can do it, as you have in the past. Hugs, Karen

Hiya Diane, What you went through is "TOTALLY NORMAL"  sooner or later we all tend to test ourselves.  Do not punish yourself anymore!   I'm happy to hear that you are back on track.   Now, lets focus on what we can do in place of it, for when that feeling comes again....and it will!  So, how about contacting a LIPO member (use your contact list, that is what it is there for!) or shoot an email or go on OH for additional support.  We will be discussing at future LIPO meetings what we can do in place of making these choices, I've been doing a lot of reading about it.  Many people swear by journaling, have you ever tried it?  Try it, hey, whatever works, right? Call me ANYTIME, if you need to talk, I am, we (LIPO) are here for you! xoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxooxx

Diane, No one is perfect! I've been there done that - eaten crap - felt guilty - yada yada yada - read my blog you'll see.  To KEY is you made the choice to get back on track! YOU DID IT!  Learn from it ... Next time when your guests leave ...tell them to take it or toss it!  Don't beat yourself up -  You are doing sooooo good :)  Call me or someone to talk when things like this happen - I have called Karen, My Mom and Lori on several occassions. Learn from it and move on  This is part of your journey  a little bump in the road ... Hugs, Britt

Diane, You've got mail.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the encouragement. You guys are exceptional. I have a lot of thinking to do and rewiring of the old brain.  I truly appreciate the positive feedback.(no pun intended!)  It's not easy being "just human".....huh? Nighty-night all.

I think you are beating yourself up for nothing.  I was never told that I could NEVER have food again once I had this surgery.  I was told that I could eat normally and feel satisfied.  I am not under the belief that there are "forbidden" foods in my diet.  I don't want to make it a diet for the rest of my life, I want to have a normal lifestyle.  I eat all the things I used to love, only in moderation.  I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about and don't have to be calling 911 each time you choose to have a normal portion of something.  You are going to create an anxiety producing situation each time you do this.  If you are going indulge, enjoy it.  I think what you are fearing is that you might make the food item a binge.  I'm starting to see FEAR as a motivating factor in our WLS support group and I read or heard somewhere that fear stands for "false evidence appearing real".....what you FEAR will only chase you down....so RELAX and allow your tool to work for you.  A little ice cream on occasion is not going to ruin you.  Give yourself some credit for at least acknowledging that you don't want to make this treat an every day routine.  That is where the problem lies.  Gosh, if you knew what I ate on Thanksgiving, I feel like I would need to go to confession to be obstained from my sins....lol  I allow myself the holidays and the treats on these occasions.  I don't intend to do it everyday.  As far as I'm concerned, I don't think you did anything wrong to feel guilty or ashamed about. 

Don't be so hard on yourself....you are doing great!  You didn't ruin anything.  Eventually, when you get to your goal..you will have to face these temptations and now you know what your triggers are.  Just get back on the plan and it will be fine.   Rosemary

Please forgive yourself and remember prior to your WLS you developed a lifetime of habits and coping mechanisms.  Perhaps you should remind yourself how far you have come and remember that Holidays bring up a tremendous amount of feelings sometimes unconscious.   You are on a journey which like all journeys has some bumps in the road.