Family Dynamics

armra1967
on 9/20/07 6:13 am - Lakewood, NY

Your poor son. Shame on your sister to have said that to him. I have noticed a couple things with my weight loss and my inlaws (I have no family of my own). My mother in law says absolutely nothing, as if I haven't lost any weight. Before hand she commented, "I'd never do that surgery. Why take the easy way out? I'd just exercise & diet." OMG She's @ least 300lbs herself and doesn't do anything to lose weight. Constantly complains that she can't believe her daughter in laws are smaller than her. My sister in law is very supportive and has been encouraged to diet/exercise herself. Now, my pervert father in law is another story. He has made passes @ all of his sons' wives, but not me since I threw him out of our house 15 years ago. Well, since I have been getting smaller, he's been paying me compliments & giving me encouragement. Nothing I'd consider weird from a "normal" father in law, but from him...I just don't know. The affects of our WLS is a journey for everyone in our lives. Funny to see how they react, though, huh?

cheri24iv
on 9/20/07 8:55 am - Hamilton, NY

Lap Band on 05/08/07

It hasn't changed a thing, other than my younger sister (the middle one) might have surgery for medical reasons. Everyone in my family is now supportive of me seeing how wonderfully I'm doing. I can tell you one thing...if my sister EVER, EVER spoke to my son like that, she'd need a doctor! What a HORRIFIC thing to say to a child of ANY age! You've done awesome

and please stick to your guns and do not let her ignorance harm your success. Ya know, we can have WLS to assist us in losing weight...there's nothing you can do to assist someone who is ignorant. (sorry to speak about your sis like this, but man, am I steaming for you!!!!)

Cheri, The Happy Bandster

Jessica A.
on 9/20/07 1:28 pm - Islip, NY

RNY on 09/04/07

I see this was a touchy for some as it was and is for me. I was always the "chubby one" in my family. I look back now at pictures from when I was a little girl and I do not see the chubby one that everyone else saw. I wasn't as skinny as my sisters but the memory that's been burned on my mind thought of myself as a blob. My mother still brings up the story about how for my communion dress, she had to buy the 7 X.... like that X was something that couldn't be discussed... almost like it was my scarlet letter. Being heavier never stopped me from doing what every other kid did. I played punch ball, kings, hand ball and all the stuff we did on our block growing up in brooklyn. At 13 I was already at my height of 5'8" and I was 140lbs. I went into HS weighing 145 and next to the cheerleader stick figures I felt like attila the hun. NOW I do not even list my goal weight at 145. I cannot imagine being that thin. I guess I can ramble on and on and I'll stop soon for the evening but these lost feelings and emotions just want to explode. My sister has been very supportive about my surgery. I know she loves me and wants me to be healthy but I guess my getting thinner and I will get thinner than she is, will bring out issues of her own that she'll have to work on. I want to thank everyone who shared a piece of themselves with me today.

Hugs and Kudos

to all of us. Have a great night. Jessica

Jessica

"Who is Jessica?"

Britt
on 9/20/07 8:32 pm - Long Island, NY

RNY on 11/06/06

Jessica, You will see that some people are totally THRILLED for you and your weight loss :) while other have a problem (their problem!) with you shrinking! Just keep up with your plan ... this is YOUR journey - enjoy it. hugs, Britt

  Nothing - tastes as good as it feels -to be at my ideal weight :)
Lap RNY 11-6-06 at goal 10-6-07 - Attacking my regain 2013
                        Mommy to 3 princesses ~ Wife to Paul

     I'm a "before and after" in OH magazine (January / February 2008)

Lovinit041
on 9/21/07 3:44 am - Pomona, NY

Lap Band on 08/06/07

I too think this is a good topic. When I made the decision to have WLS I really didn't think this would be a big deal for anyone I knew. Everyone was very supportive. Since surgery I have had a few comments made. I sometimes wonder if they just never thought i'd actually doooooooo it LOL One of my friends I've had for more than 20 yrs seems to be struggling a bit with me losing. She "carefully" asks me how much I've lost every time we talk ( online ) I really do think the issue is that I too have always been the "bigger one" She, like me through the years, has gained and is up there in her own weight... ( she's never shared her's lol ) She makes negative comments about her own lack of weight loss. I have tried to encourage her but I think she is struggling with the jealousy bug and that is sad, I sure have a long haul and battle ahead of me and I don't feel like she needs to be jealous. As for family members, I come from a family of 7. I am the youngest girl and my youngest brother passed away 22yrs ago. I have 3 sisters all of us have had weight issues. My second oldest sister is looking into surgery she is now 100 lbs over weight. My sister just older than me lost 125lbs, without WLS but did it a very bad way. She is the one that is watching me. She is happy I had the surgery but she makes comments about others that have "had the surgery" like its a weaker thing to do. She has through the years been jealous of me which I totally hate and wi**** wasn't so. A couple days ago while on the phone with my Mom over my grandmothers passing away! she yells in the back ground "ask her how much she lost???" of course my Mother does.. cuz unfortunately they are watching me and this is a BIG issue for them. Don't get me wrong it is for me too.. its important... but its an issue in the wrong way for them! Ok well thats my story and I wish I didn't have to stick to it LOL I think that there are always people who like having us be the "big one" cuz that makes them feel better and they dont' have to look at themselves but as someone else said... That one is theirs to deal with!

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