Star Jones...

I just got finished reading a blog on the whole Star Jones WLS issue.  It made me sad to see the comments that I was actually fearing over outting myself on the surgery.  I have chosen to keep it a private matter for myself and this is exactly why.  I never read such ignorant comments.  Most of the people on the blog really bashed her for not fessing up to her surgery, like it is anyone's business?  I feel it was a personal matter that does not require her to disclose.  Recently someone in my building had the audacity to ASK me if I had "that weight surgery".  Instead of saying that I felt uncomfortable about answering that question or that it was none of her business, I said "NO".  She then had the nerve to say "oh good for you, you are doing it on your OWN".  I wanted to slaughter her!!  Like someone else is doing this for me?  I also read that Star "took the easy way out" because we are all fat and lazy and have no discipline.  I know you ladies out there no better.  So why am I so down about this whole article and blog?????  Why do people feel it is any of their business.  Weight is such a private and personal issue.  How can people be so callous?  Does it make them feel better to KNOW that they at least did not have to take such drastic measures OR that they can feel better about their own failure not to lose their excess weight.  I feel people are starting to feel intimidated that there is a solution out there for us, and the women we are becoming is very threatening to them....because deep down inside we've always been more beautiful than any of those b*tches....  Well, I have been trying to find a support group to talk about these very post op issues, only most are being held like Weigh****chers meetings and the obsession is all about the food we eat and counting protein grams, sugar, fat, etc.  I want to talk and hear about issues because it IS what is eating me right now, now what I am eating.

Trish, I feel exactly the same as you. It's my business,no one else's. Part of the reason I am so closed mouthed about the whole thing is because of the very negative opinions and biases you mentioned. People have no clue the discipline we have to exercise to make this work. And who are they to even comment on something that effects us soooo profoundly? Would I tell them they were wrong to have their tubes tied or that vasectomy? Or that heart bypass is risky business and they should have had the common sense and discipling to not clog their arteries in the first place? The Information Age, while being a monumental blessing in many ways, also makes people think they can just dig into and share information that is simply none of their business!

I agree with you 100%  But the comments were the "reality" that I fear.  WHY would it hurt me so much.  Otherwise, I feel like I am keeping some deep dark secret that I really can't hide anyways.  It's amazing to me how so many people are in my face about it (the weight loss) when no one gave a crap about me before!!  WHY is it any of their business and what makes them think I owe them an explanation?  Why does Star owe it to them to tell her personal journey with the weight?  I know I should just tell myself that they are all ignorant ******** at least the ones that dare to comment, but still it hurts KNOWING that they FEEL this way about IT (wls).  Yeah, the next time they are having a heart attack, I'll just say, yeah ...it serves you right!!  Lack of discipline, etc. etc etc..  Thanks for sharing.

They are ignorant, plain and simple. ANd the thing you need to remember is that it's often the people with the most outrageous opinions who are the most outspoken. That was a lesson I had to learn through some tears some years ago. Look how any people your surgeon is operating on every week. Chances are he has done hundreds if not thousands of  WLSs. The more folks they operate on, the more supportive family members there ar behind them, and in turn, supportive best friends, and with their success, naysayers turned supporters. All that to say, hopefully, it is the minority who feel the way your commentors do, they are just the ones ballzy enough to open their ignorant mouths. They are commenting out of fear, jealousy, callousness, and simple stupidity. Don't let their ignorance make you regret your decision one bit or sink to their level with a backlash. I know, it's sometimes easier said than done, but you researched this WLS, you know everything they are too lazy to look up for themselves, and you know it was the best decision for you. Hang Tough, Trish!

Trish - I agree with you 100%. It's nobody's business. I told less then a handful of people. My  decision  to have wls was one I made with my primary care physcian whom I trust completely.  I didn't tell  that many people because I didn't want to hear all the negative comments, that surround wls like  "you have the will power to do this on your own" or "everyone knows eventually you gain the weight back...have you seen al roker and carnie wilson" ? Because of comments like this I choose to kept my wls a very private decision. I think that a lot of people  who haven't struggled with their weight think that just because you are fat it's ok to say and treat those of us who struggle with our weight like CRAP !!!!  Just because our issue (weight) is out there for everyone to see, we don't have the right to keep our medical issues private matter. That's BS !!!! This subject really get's my blood boiling because I was publically "outed"  by  weight loss surgeon, without any warning. So this subject really hits home for me. Donna  open rny mar 18 2003 282/144/140

Your right WLS is a PERSONAL issue. Now saying that I'll say this...trying to blow smoke up everyone's a** by saying "I lost the weight with yoga and pilates" is pure and total BS!! 

I work in the entertainment industry and I know first hand what people in entertainment will do to hide secrets and the ONLY reason "ms star" came out with her revelation of WLS is to promote her new tv show.

 

Man what I wouldn't give to buy that woman for what she is worth and sell her for what she thinks she is worth--I could open a free WLS clinic and accept patients for free from all over the world.

 

Moral to ms. star's revelation--publicity is priceless and she's clearly selling herself for it.

 

i KNOW HOW U FEEL I TOLD ON OF MY GOOD FRIEND ABOUT THE WLS AND I FOUND OUT SHE TOLD EVERYBODY THAT SHE KNOWS AFTER I HAD ASKED HER NOT TO I FEEL LIKE VIOLATED I KNOW TO MOST PEOPLE ITS NOT A BIG DEAL BUT IT IS TO ME

I TOTALLY agree with what all of you have said.

Having said that, I still can't figure out why my husband can't quit smoking when it's harming his health, and for the longest time, he couldn't understand why I couldn't stop eating! Believe it or no****ching Big Medicine with me has helped him understand.

Having said THAT, I haven't told my mother about my RNY, and I have no intention of doing so!
(I have told 2 good friends, and 2 co-workers--we're in a small office & they had to pick up all the slack--they've been wonderful)

If any of you read People Magazine (I call it my one vice), I HATE the section they have periodically featuring people who have lost 100 lbs WITHOUT surgery (the real way, ha ha)

If my weight loss ever shows (I must be the world's slowest loser) I wonder what I'll tell people. I seem to have time to figure it out!

I hate the judgements that people place on us for being overweight in the first place and the negativity toward something that is helpful to many in the second place.

I was not as private about my surgery as maybe I should have been. I told my immediate family and closest friends because it seemed as if it would be too hard to hide as the intial process unfolded and I am not in the habit of lying to them. They have been extremely supportive and not one stupid or thoughtless comment has been made and they realize I don't want others to know because I didn't want the pressure of everyone watching my every move. I didn't want any additional pressure and thought if I wasn't successful or if anything went wrong I didn't want to explain myself or feel like more of a failure.

My plan was to eventually tell everyone because I feel no shame at all but now that I realize how many people fee like WLS is cheating (which is completely insane and shows their lack of knowledge on the subject) I am rethinking it and might not disclose.

To those who have been "outed" I am so sorry. I can only imagine how betrayed you feel.