surgery in a week---please help

Hello all.  I am having RNY on july 17.  I am starting to doubt my decision.  I am 41 yrs. old, 210lbs with a bmi of 40.  I went for my pre-op testing on Fri. and Anna scared the heck out of me.  I have been doubting my decision since then.  I know I MUST lose weight to be healthy.  But, I'm starting to doubt my ability to follow all the guidelines necessary for the weight loss to happen.  How do you handle being around other people who are eating all those foods you used to eat?  I'm feeling a little depressed that I won't be able to eat some of my favorite foods again.  I'm afraid I will take this drastic step toward being healthy---only to fail again.    I have had people in the medical field (while going thru all my testing over the last 8 months),  tell me that I don't look like I need the surgery.  They've asked me why I wnat to do this to myself.  If people in the med. field have doubts about it, how am I supposed to feel confident in my decision?  I am so confused ---and scared---especially with the surgery (needles, picc line and cathether).   Please, any advice, suggestions will be more than welcomed. Thank you to all *****ad this.

Wow, I am soooo right there with you Honey, and I suspect we re in a majority. My surg is on the 16th with pre-ops tomorrow and while I am too excited to sleep, I worry as well. My worry is more about failing at this than at missing all the foods I love. Those foods have brought me momentary comfort, but in the long run, only grief and a potentially shorter life. Fried foods-ditching them for good. Breads- occassionally and only whole grain. Icecream and desserts, those I'll miss, but I can do it. I just have to weigh the risks (pun not intended) of eating them and feuling my addiction. I would love to not have take this road, but I need to. I have lost wt in the past, time and again, but can't keep it off. This is the tool that will help the most in the long run. Think about these questions and maybe they will help you answer whether or not you should push forward with this: Are you able to lose and keep the weight off with diligence? If so, then you may not need to go this route. Do the health risks of your co-morbidities outweigh the risks of the surgery? Think about diabetes, heart disease and stroke to name just a few. How is your overall health and what is your family history of these conditions? Do you have support at home for whichever route you take? IMPORTANT! You can't get through either another diet or the surgery with saboteurs around. You need to be as sure as you can that you are willing to maintain the WLS lifestyle and plan.   If you aren't sure, then you may be setting your self up for more heartache. I so understand and wish you the best as you mull through this process. The upside to the WLS is that the tool will always be there, you just need to work it. And the best support network ever is right here for us.

First off let me say that you are in great hands with Dr Garber!!! I had him as well and he really knows what he is doing, so does ALL his staff. This is one of the biggest things you will do in your life and ONLY you can say if this surgery is right for you, know that being scared and 2nd guessing is normal but please make sure you are ready and this is really what you want. Take a long hard look, make sure you are ready to make these changes forever!  Now I know for me I was so depressed for a while after surgery because I was mourning my love, my best friend and something that was ALWAYS there for me....FOOD!!! It is a hard journey with bumps and hills but for me it is so worth it! WOW! As far as the foods, you will be able to eat things again, not as much and only taste over time but you come to learn you so not NEED to have the Big amounts you had before. It is so much work to get this taken care of and you really need to learn why and what drove you to food in the first place so you can work this tool forever!!! I know for me I am just out a little over 2 years and I still see a phyc to keep me in line.  ONLY you can say if you are ready for this life change! Take your time and really think about this hun and what every choice you make I hope it all works out. Keep us posted!

 i was in that boat kind of sort of a lightwehight or so uthats how others  saw it i was 38 when i had it and it  was the best decision of my life... i can now keep up with teenagers wooooo hoooo i have 2 of them...... i have the confidence that i never had before and im healthier and better then ever...... im not sure who told you that you  will never have your favorite food  again but  whoever said ..... is a liar what might happen which has happened to me is that i saw change really fast and now i dont want to make that unhealthy choice.......you will eventually be able to eat what you want   but by then you will make the healthier choice depending how bad you want it......... remember they dont do brain surgery they just give us a precious tool what we choose to do with it is up to us!!!! i wish you the very best of luck in whatever you decide....... my favorite saying is NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS!!!!! Stacy

Hi, I just want to say that second-guessing is completely normal.  I have battled my weight all of my 55 years, so I knew this was going to be the answer for me.  I also used food as "comfort" so, I had to realize that would be different after the surgery. You need to be sure that you are going to be able to keep to the program after the surgery or this would not be for you.  But, I have found that I am not really hankering the old bad food.  I think at first your body knows that it isn't good for you...lol. Good Luck...and I'd say if you have tried all other methods...go for it... Rosemary

HI-   I am 4 months out and have lost 66lbs.  I know how you feel.  In the beinning weeks it didn't matter but after I was more mobil and was at the pureed stage of food it bothered me a bit.  Once I got to the soft food stage I started to take risks and try a bite of this or that when my family was having something I liked.  I had somethings that were not an issue and others that made me think twice about.  Like steak oh loved it before surgery and thought I would die if I couldn't have it again.  Well I ate it too quickly and not chewed it well enough,  it made me ill!  I though omigod I am gonna die.  Thew up and felt better.  But I thought long and hard about doing it again.  I can have steak now I make sure its tender, I cut it in baby bites and eat it slowly.  I have been able to turn it down when I know I just ate and if I had it would have given me a tummy ache.  Other foods I have had the same issues with some I just have lost a taste for, the more you get sick from a food the less you want to have it.  As far as failing the surgery I thought the same thing but I have continued to lose.  I listen to my body-when its full it is full!  It is such a different feeling as when I was full before surgery.  It makes me stop and push my plate away.  I have noticed I can eat what everyone else does just a small portion.  I wasn't addicted to food and that may make a difference if you are.  Support is great use it when you need it.  Good Luck. Chris

Hi. Our pre-op weights are similar, so I do kow how you feel.

I had my RNY w/Dr. Garber too, and I think both he and Dr. H. are top-notch. When I had a slight problem post-op, I am patched through to them immediately on the phone.

Yes, Anna's talks can be a little scary. There was one young lady in our group who was terrified about the catheter, and she came through surgery w/flying colors!

Regarding the pic-line; my surgery date was the ONLY date in Mercy's bariatric history that there wasn't someone available to put in a pic line. It turned out that I really could have used one--I got a false reading on my blood level which would never happened w/a pic-line No big deal, but for about 1 hour I was scared for nothing. Dr. Garber was with me the whole time holding my hand.

Good luck with whatever you decide...feel free to contact me if you want to talk.

Take care,